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 Post subject: Lesson 15
PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 7:24 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 3:09 pm
Posts: 12
It has been tough but a big discovery learning experience so far. My porn addiction, from the many women I have had sexual encounters with. The cheating, lies and deception. And finally going onto looking at sexual images of women and video's on line. Why? I have come to realise and that it was from a very early age when "fooling" around when a very young teen. My grandparents bringing me up from being a baby and my sister. My natural parents having nothing much to do with us. Then being led away when I was in a park at only 6 years old, how I got there I cannot remember. The young man and women taking me into some bushes which was followed by the woman stripping me then whipped me with a branch and fondling me and finally leaving me to be found by the park keeper. I have had no real love or guidance both as a child or teen. And here I am, reaching 55 with still no real Life Management skills. The relationships the porn all in one way or another just unfolded and comforted me. What I have learned over these past few weeks is to deal with my past and have a better understanding of it. Not to lie but be truthful to my wife who has been thru a lot of heartache because of me. I also have a strength I did not possess before, to stop my compulsive behaviour. Still I am making some mistakes on how I manage my life, but things are very slowly improving within me.


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 Post subject: Re: Lesson 15
PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 7:54 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 3:09 pm
Posts: 12
Lesson 16, Positive Aspects of my online porn addiction.

1 It has controlled my urges for not being unfaithful to previous partners and more recently my wife.
2 If I have felt down or stressed it has been a pleasant relief for me, exciting and comforting.
3 It has relieved boredom and taking away worries and the mundane things in my life.


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 Post subject: Re: Lesson 15
PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 7:54 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 3:09 pm
Posts: 12
Lesson 16, Positive Aspects of my online porn addiction.

1 It has controlled my urges for not being unfaithful to previous partners and more recently my wife.
2 If I have felt down or stressed it has been a pleasant relief for me, exciting and comforting.
3 It has relieved boredom and taking away worries and the mundane things in my life.


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 Post subject: Re: Lesson 15
PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 3:46 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 3:09 pm
Posts: 12
The elements of my sexually compulsive behavior are,

1 Sight, always online porn sights at the time of my choosing or when the opportunity presented itself. Which resulted in compulsive masturbation.

2 Fantasy, thinking about my favourite porn star but usually on looking at the images of her.


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 Post subject: Re: Lesson 18
PostPosted: Wed Nov 15, 2017 8:42 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 3:09 pm
Posts: 12
The three parts of my compulsive rituals incorporating the 3 elements were as follows.

First thing every morning as soon as I awoke I had intense sexual feelings, same thing every morning. I was compelled to go online to satisfy my powerful sexual emotional state. Be it images or film.
The intensity of it was due to the time scale. I had between 20 minutes and an hour and some times I was on
line for the full hour, which built up the intensity.
As for habitual it became a regular pattern as on an evening either after work when still slightly stressed or just before sleep as it relaxed me, sometimes, often at both times of the evening. Sometimes the intensity was better than the previous evening, but it was always the same pattern. At times I loathed the things I was doing but could not control my urge to satisfy my need for porn.


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