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PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2018 8:47 am 
Recovery Mentor

Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2017 11:22 am
Posts: 264
can emotions be managed or just experienced? What a great question.

If emotions can be managed and not just experienced, my intense emotions can be the result of the way that I am choosing to live my life and not just "how I am". Wow, this is something I need to think a little more about.

Arete, you just leveled up ;) Are you, the true Arete, your thoughts? Are you, the true Arete, your emotions? Or are your thoughts and emotions separate from you?

When we change our response to emotions from "I am stressed," to, "I am feeling stressed," we gain choice. We choose to act on what we are feeling, instead of acting out because, "that's who I am".

I argue that we are our core identity, values, and boundaries around those values. We are not our emotions and don't always have to believe what our emotions may be telling us! And therefore we can choose to manage them. You'll learn more about this in Lesson 44... so stay the course and job well done.

Be Well,


PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 5:36 am 

Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2018 8:41 am
Posts: 37
Hi Anon523,

Thanks so much for your feedback and encouragement! I really appreciated your comments and they gave me a sense that I am on the right track. I feel that what I am learning about emotions is challenging me in a good way and I agree with what you said. I am not my emotions and that the realisation of this can lead to a freedom - a freedom to make choices in my life not based on emotions but on character, who I want to be and what I value. Not easy stuff, especially since I am so used to getting lost in my emotions.

Lesson 31:

Just looking at my last week and some of the stressors that I had, I had the following:

1. I am in the process of making an application for a visa and it is complicated! Mild.
2. I have constant work deadlines that I have to achieve each week. Moderate.
3. I have one major project deadline that is looming. Severe.
4. I had to work last week with a colleague that I don't at all get along with. Moderate.
5. I had some concerns over the status of some friendships in my life. Moderate.
6. I had to prepare for the start of a new project with new people that I did not know. Moderate.
7. I had litterally no free space in my entire week last week. Moderate.
8. Finding time for writing poetry. Mild.

Just looking at these stressors and whether they contribute towards my top 15 values. Firstly, it was interesting. Initially, I did not list N° 9 because I don't see something that I find rewarding a stressor. Finding time to write poetry is me being creative and it is a joy to do for me. I do not see it as stress. But I suppose this gets to the very heart of what immediate gratification is all about. If I only build up my values when it suits me, or when I am free or when I feel like it or when it feels fun, then immediate gratification rules my life and not values really. I do work in my week, since starting Recovery Nation, towards building up my vision and values and I do my daily monitoring. And it is true, some of the things that I do to build up values do take work. But to see this as a stressor in a healthy way, that is, something that takes work and that can be at times hard work, is a transition that I think I am still making. What it interesting is that the work that I do, I do value. But I would say that about only 20 percent of my stressors go towards building up my top 15 values. Not great to realise.

Finally, where am I gettiing my meaning and stimulation from? It is true, I do get some meaning and stimulation from my work. But just looking at the picture emerging from my week, I place too much emphasis on my work and not enough emphasis on value based activities. I am feeling a call to rebalance my life even more towards those values that I have identified.

PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 6:00 am 

Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2018 8:41 am
Posts: 37
Lesson 32:

Having a look at my proactive action plans. With daily monitoring, I have begun to deepen some of my values quite substantially. I have focussed on 10 of my 15 top values and have made progress in the majority of them. One of the things that I have had some difficulty with is the value of taking care of myself so that I can be at my best for others and for God. All of the things that I have listed in my proactive action plan I have neglected. I think the things that I listed in this value are still good, so I do not think I need to change them. But especially reading the material for this lesson, I want to try to implement my ideas.

Some of the things that I listed in my action plans involve relationships and these are always fluctuating and changing. I have already responded to this in my daily monitoring by changing some of the things that I am aiming for, to take into account these fluctuating relationships and the changes have been good. The value of flexibility has turned into quite a value for me. I have started to pay attention to how I am interacting with others and trying to be more present to them, throwing away ideas for my day if I enter into a good conversation with someone. This is huge for me. I realise that my plans for the day may or may not actually be deepening who I want to be, whereas actually I want to have deeper interactions with others.

After reading through my action plans, I realise that, with daily monitoring, I am not doing too badly in terms of developing values. But I still need to put into practice some of the great ideas that I have had. I think I will try to update my daily monitoring to better reflect these plans.

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