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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 6:13 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:16 am
Posts: 3
Lesson 1

A. 1. actively committing yourself to change
It has been many attempts for me to rid myself of my addiction to pornography and excessive masturbation. However, I know in my heart and mind I have never truly applied myself and fought hard to change my life for a better, more meaningful future, and a stronger, competent and responsible me. My addiction begun as a child and has deeply in-grained itself in to my life and how I manage my emotions. Therein lies the problem that I still, at 33, do not see myself as a man. This must change. I actively commit myself to this building a new life of meaning and purpose, and leaving my deviant behaviours in the past.

2. not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
As I wrote the last sentence of the paragraph above, fear entered my mind that I do not have what it takes to overcome this. Fear, guilt and shame have undone me in the past, and so I am familiar with them. I hope that my recognition of them will help me recognise them for just what they are, hurdles to get over and move on from. Not a simple task, but one I need to remain wary and vigilant of when they show themselves.

3) allowing yourself time to change.
As the title says, 10000 days in the fire is long enough, I have spent a lot of time with this addiction, and the past 4-5 years attempting haphazardly to rid it away. I understand that this is not a task that is achieved overnight, in a week or month, nor something you simply refrain from doing. It will take a lot of time to change/re-wire the neuro-chemistry within my brain. I understand that I will need to be patient and give myself time to change.

B.

1. I want to live my life to its fullest potential
2. I want to discover who the real me is
3. I want to love the real me
4. I want my mind to be at peace
5. I want to wake up and feel alive
6. I want to be socially engaging
7. I want to be fit and healthy
8. I want to be successful in achieving my goals and life pursuits
9. I want to be proud of myself
10. I want to find a woman to spend my time with
11. I want my partner to be able to trust me
12. I want to show love and appreciation to my partner
13. I want to have a healthy and active sex life with my partner
14. I want to have a family
15. I want to grow old knowing I overcame this.


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 2:23 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3771
Location: UK
Hello Spirale

Quote:
I know in my heart and mind I have never truly applied myself and fought hard to change my life for a better, more meaningful future, and a stronger, competent and responsible me.

sorry but if you continue in that same way you are just wasting your time, you will fail

for change you do need commitment, RN is not a one stop fix all course but it is a great roadmap and I believe that anyone who really does want recovery can achieve it
IMO addiction is not a sickness it is a weakness
if you really do want to improve your life and remove those self inflicted shackles of addiction and to recover from your emotion driven compulsive behaviours then you are at a good place to make that a reality, RN can show you the way
To achieve recovery then commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand, this community is supportive to those who demonstrate sincerity in their journey
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path, you have not been abandoned

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone, many have taken the path successfully, your actions are yours but you are not the first and unfortunately will not be the last
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting , reading, evaluating and putting into practice what you have learned, be open be honest, nobody here will judge you
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination

the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:45 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:16 am
Posts: 3
Thanks for your input Kenzo, greatly appreciated.

I have been missing a while unfortunately, partly to giving up all my electronic devices for a week, which didnt bring halt to my addiction, and also complacency. I plan again soon on giving up all my electrical devices.

This feels odd to say in reference to what you were saying about commitment Kenzo, but its true, I dont know how to commit wholeheartedly.. I've said in my mind so many times in the past 'this is it, im committing to this' that ive lost belief in the phrase. But beyond mental commitments that have failed, i have never practically followed/actioned this workshop or a true lifestyle based approach to recovery. This makes me think at this moment that it is not my momentary motivation that alludes me to believe i am committing to recovery, but to see myself committing to recovery through my ongoing actions.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:48 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:16 am
Posts: 3
Lesson 2 - My life vision

I see myself on a path of ongoing growth and development in many fields of life.

Education/Work-life

I see myself continuing in my current direction of pursuing experiences, knowledge and education in fields that will advance into a career that brings pride, meaning and purpose, and is manageable to progress and/or change to something else is I age. My pursuit, unlike now, is more directed, disciplined, inspired and enjoyed. I clearly understand the process I am following, even when it feels/is wrong, changes and/or re-directs, and I draw calmness and clarity from this understanding.

Body

I understand and promote within myself the benefits both physically and mentally that exercise and new/differing physical experiences bring to me and others through my better overall health.
I hold nutrition to a higher standard and work toward increasing my overall health through healthier and wiser eating habits.

Mind

I maintain my continual pursuit of experience and knowledge of the reality between myself, conscious experience, spirituality, and my mental health, and utilise them in times of weakness, becoming stronger and wiser.
Socially/relationships
I overcome that I don’t understand of the disconnect I feel at times with my family, and become strong enough to improve our relationships for the betterment of all of our time spent here.
I become stronger willed, and proud taking my place within society, expecting and acknowledging the respect I deserve from myself and others.
I see myself becoming a man whom through his continual growth and development can provide intimate support and love to someone in a mutually beneficial relationship, that will progress to a new level of connected growth and development that would be unattainable on my own.


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