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 Post subject: Lesson 1
PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 3:18 pm 

Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:55 pm
Posts: 7
I am 19 going to college. I want to make the change in my life because I don't want my life controlled by my addiction. I don't know how threads work exactly, but I will try my best to keep up with the lessons. I began the lessons two days ago, so I have the exercises from the first two lessons already done. I will post them on this thread.

Lesson 1

A-I am tired of feeling like I have to keep feeding my addiction. I am always physically tired,mentally drained, and I do not want to feel like this anymore. I have commitment to sports and studies that most people find shocking. Yet, when it comes to abstaining from masturbation, I have little to no commitment. I am ready for this change and I will put forth the time necessary no matter what tries to get in the way.
I am very hard on myself when it comes to failure. I sometimes expect too much from myself, and come up short very often. I sometimes think I set myself up to fail. For the purposes of this workshop, I have tried abstinence in the past, yet have failed miserably, and my shame and guilt have led me back to the addiction, most often in a stronger grip than I was before. I wish I could say I am strong enough to just abstain, but at this point I am not.
I am a very patient person. I do have the patience to change, and I will allow myself the time I need for this change to occur. I am already fed up with myself, and I will do anything to change my habits at this point, just for a chance to see what normal life feels like.

B-My reasons for change: I want to be honest with my friends and family.
I want to get rid of the pain and shame I feel.
want to be a better man than my father.
I want to make my mom proud.
I want to say I've conquered my demons.
I want to know what it's like to have a healthy life.
I want to be free from my past.
I want the chance to have a beautiful, and loving relationship.
I want confidence.
I want to please my God.
I want to tell my kids with certainty not to give up when things got hard. (If I have kids some day)
I want a chance at a happy life that is completely my own.

C- I did the exercise with the baby picture. I did not cry, I did not feel angry. I could not meet the eyes of that child for long.I looked into his eyes and I did not see an ounce of that child in me. I felt that I had become a different person entirely, and that I had no connection to this kid. I did not feel anything, I felt very empty. I am ashamed to say this,but that is what happened.

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