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 Post subject: Lesson 1
PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 12:37 pm 

Joined: Sat Jun 14, 2014 5:19 pm
Posts: 37
Lesson 1 Exercises:
A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change
2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
3) allowing yourself time to change.
Consider where you feel you are in relation to each of these recovery keys? Briefly share your thoughts in your Recovery Thread.

1) Well, I am back from a relapse/clean/relapse/clean run. So I am now committed to change. Yes, I am distraught and overwhelmed by the consequences of my addiction, but I do want a whole nother lifestyle. It is very very early for me in all of this, but I am pretty darn committed to change today.

2) Guilt and shame are actually reasons I want to change. Two reasons at least. They are not my sole purpose behind looking at this process to change, but they are definately reasons.

3) I understand this will take time. I will allow myself time to change but really could use a reminder about this point every so often down the road.

B. Beyond an active commitment to change, another important factor in determining your ultimate success is your motivation. Look deep inside and list ten to fifteen reasons why you seek to permanently change your life. Don't stop at three or four obvious ones, really examine your life and what is important to you. Phrase these in the positve. For example: " I don't want to keep deceiving my wife" would serve you better if written like "I want to be honest and transparent with my wife". Positive statements have much more power in our mindset than negative ones. List these in your recovery thread.

* I want to be a good big brother to my siblings
* I want to make my Mother, Father, and Grandmother proud of me and to have a real relationship with all three.
* I want to be free of the legal system
* I want to have stable mental health
* I want to be independent
* I want to live by my morals and values, not against them
* I don't want to hurt anybody anymore
* I want to be successful
* Genuine contentment and happiness
* I want to have a normal relationship with a woman
* I want God's will for my life

C. One of the most powerful insights you can gain in establishing a foundation for permanent recovery is to come to see your addiction within the scope of your life span. In other words, to not just see your addiction as it is now, but to look across the span of your life to see the role that addiction has played in your development. Much of this will be explored throughout the workshop, but to put yourself in the right frame of mind to develop such a perception, do the following:
Find a picture of yourself when you were a small child. An innocent child. For those with early childhood sexual abuse issues, do not mistake this abuse for a lack of innocence. You were absolutely innocent. It will be hard to derive the full value from this exercise without an actual picture so if it is just a matter of needing to find one...wait. Wait until you have the picture in your hand. If such a picture does not exist, try envisioning a moment in your life when you were 3, 4...perhaps 5 years old — but only do this as a last resort. The power of this exercise rests in your ability to look into the eyes of your own innocence — something that is very hard to do through memory alone.
Now, with the picture in hand, look into that child's eyes. Feel their innocence. Acknowledge that this child is you at a point in your life. Feel how vulnerable you were. How trusting. Recognize the lack of addiction in your life...and the desire for little more than love, compassion, teaching and support. Think of the trauma you faced throughout your life. Think of the times when you felt alone. Confused. If you feel like it, cry for this child. Allow yourself to feel love for this child. Do whatever you must to emotionally connect with this child because it is for this child that you are now reclaiming your life. It is this child who lost their way and you are the one now showing the courage to guide this child, who is you, back to health.
If you would like, share your experience with this last exercise in your thread.

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