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PostPosted: Mon Mar 04, 2019 1:24 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:46 am
Posts: 45
Lesson 43 Exercise:

There are two tools you are encouraged to use in helping to develop efficient urge awareness skills.

A. The first tool is the Community Support Forum. Use this forum to discuss your urges, receive support and guidance, and learn from the experiences of others in their urge awareness development.

B. The second is the Urge Control Awareness Form. Use this form any time that you have experienced a 'significant' compulsive urge. This form will facilitate the process of developing the right awareness needed to accurately process each urge.

C. Review this form now and ask any questions you may have about it in your recovery thread.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2019 6:46 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:46 am
Posts: 45
Lesson 43 Exercise:

A. Describe in your recovery thread the role that your core identity will play in helping you to establish/maintain a healthy life.
I believe that my core identity will help me to focus on developing a healthy perception of things in the world without sexualizing/developing fantasies about it.

B. Describe the role that value-based experiences will play in further developing your core identity.
I think value-based experiences will help me realize what's important to me and choose a path that I would be proud of, which in turn develops my core identity.

C. Take some time to examine the current state of your core identity.
How in tune with it are you?
~50%

When you engage in activity that is destructive, what role does your core identity play in that decision?
currently, my core identity isn't really helping me in controlling my compulsions. So I'm still indulging in porn/masturbation from time to time.

How is it affected by the consequences of that decision?
Effects on my core identity:
1) Increase in sexualizing things in my life
2) decrease in confidence
3) feel like a failure all the time.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2019 6:30 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:46 am
Posts: 45
lesson 45 response:

A. Map a compulsive ritual that is based on your unique behavior. Ensure that you identify at least five elements that are involved in stimulating your emotions during this act. If you would like, use the following worksheet to help you: Mapping a Compulsive Ritual

1# Experience feelings like: - Stimulating/restlessness/boredom
2# I think of porn and masturbation: - Comfort/relaxed
3# I will start looking at videos and touching myself when everyone was asleep: - Secure
4# I look for the videos where I can see the pornstars facial expressions while she is having sex: - excited, hopeful, optimistic
5# I will find some videos which would maximize my pleasure: - Happy, proud
6# I will start masturbating while watching her: - Stimulating, Sensuous, Excited
7# I will try to achieve orgasm at the same time as her:- Somewhat Relaxed (if I didn’t do it at the same time); Successful, Relaxed (if I did it at the same time)
8# I will take some rest and repeated the cycle until I’m satisfied: - Relieved, Satisfied

B. For each element, consider the likely impact that removing that element from the chain would have on the remainder of the event. Remember, decreasing immediate emotional pleasure (through guilt, fear, suspense, anxiety) is a technique used to ultimately increase the overall pleasure experienced during the act.

Focusing on how my emotions guide the decisions that I make

1# Stimulating/restlessness/boredom;
If I’m not experiencing these elements I wouldn't indulge in the act

2# Comfort/relaxed;
If I remove this my restlessness would increase. If I’m able to control myself and find other ways to calm its good but if fail it would create emotional imbalance

3# Secure;
If I remove secure I will not be able to masturbate. It is an important aspect of my cycle.

4# excited, hopeful, optimistic;
Even if I remove this, there would be a decrease in the simulation but it wouldn’t effect the cycle

5# Happy, proud;
I would be sad if I didn't find what I was looking for, but it wouldn’t effect the cycle because I would always return to the old videos.

6# Stimulating, Sensuous, Excited;
If I remove these elements, my chances of masturbating would decrease because there is no point in doing it if it's not simulation/exciting.

7# Somewhat Relaxed (if I didn’t do it at the same time) Successful, Relaxed (if I did it at the same time)
This is an important element, most of the time I indulged in the cycle for pleasure/ to relax. if I’m unable to relax by masturbation chances of doing it would reduce significantly.

8# I took some rest and repeated the cycle for the second and third time. Relieved, Satisfied;
I wouldn’t do it if it’s not satisfying/ relieving

C. At what point in the chain is the 'point of no return'? The point where you know that you will be completing the act. Share this in your recovery thread. In the previous exercise, you were to reinforce your ability to identify separate emotional elements in a single compulsive ritual. Here, you will begin to isolate those emotions from your core identity.

I’f I have already decided to masturbate there isn’t any point of no return but if I started masturbating because of a wrong decision element 7 would be the point of no return.

7# I will try to achieve orgasm at the same time as her

D. Consider the element identified just prior to 'the point of no return'. This is the element that you will want to isolate and use as your primary trigger for breaking a compulsive urge. Eventually, you can isolate multiple elements, and thus create multiple points where a compulsive event can be effectively stopped, but for now we will focus solely on this one element.

6# I will start masturbating while watching her


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2019 5:38 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:46 am
Posts: 45
lesson 46 response:

A. Identify the element immediately preceeding the 'point of no return' and then rewrite the remainder of the chain so that your actions are based on healthy values, rather than immediate emotional response. Share this in your recovery thread.
1# Experience feelings like: - Stimulating/restlessness/boredom
2# I think of porn and masturbation: - Comfort/relaxed
3# I will start looking at videos and touching myself when everyone was asleep: - Secure
4# I look for the videos where I can see the pornstars facial expressions while she is having sex: - excited, hopeful, optimistic
5# I will find some videos which would maximize my pleasure: - Happy, proud
6# I will start masturbating while watching her: - Stimulating, Sensuous, Excited
7# As soon as I realize that I'm at step 6, I will stop and do one of these things depending on the situation: - Relaxed
    a) Take a cold shower
    b) Listen to music
    c) Workout
    d) Breathing exercise
    e) Try not to be alone/ Talk to someone
    f) Read the journal
    g) Go for a walk
8# I will repeat step 7 and choose a different option if needed until I’m satisfied: - Relieved, Satisfied


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