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PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:36 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2018 5:52 pm
Posts: 4
A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change
I want to recover and change for me. I've gone through too much pain and guilt and shame and I need it to change, and I now know that I need to to make my recovery my priority. I have tried to recover through other means before, but I haven't succeeded, and I know that I need to be actively wanting to change and doing it every day

2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
I have to learn how to forgive myself and learn to move on from my past and I will not let my guilt and shame drag me down into those terrible patterns and situation and addiction that cause me even more guilt and shame.

3) allowing yourself time to change.
Healing takes time and I understand that I need to give myself time to go through the process to get to the healthy place.


B.
I want to be honest and transparent with myself, my friends and my family
I want to be a good brother and set a good example for my younger sibling
I want to be transparent and honest and build true intimacy with my girlfriend
I want to feel genuine happiness that isn't masked and blurred by my addiction
I want to connect with people at a much deeper level
I want to be financially responsible and spend money on my passions rather than my addictions
Healing my compulsions would make me feel that I have more integrity and can be genuine with others
I want to use my time to explore more of my creative side and learn new hobbies
I want to have more time and energy to work on myself physically through exercise
I want to learn to manage life's stresses in healthy and positive ways and have good coping mechanisms
In my career, I want to be a good manager and mentor who is respected and a good leader and role model


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 6:46 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3829
Location: UK
Hello NTC
and welcome (finally ) to RN
Quote:
actively committing yourself to change
I want to recover and change for me. I've gone through too much pain and guilt and shame and I need it to change, and I now know that I need to to make my recovery my priority. I have tried to recover through other means before, but I haven't succeeded, and I know that I need to be actively wanting to change and doing it every day


this is reflected in the gap between you joining and this your first post
I am not suggesting that you did not commit to recovery in the interim, only you know that
Nor am I suggesting that this programme is a solve all fix
It is a tool and it helped me
I committed and if you do so then you should attain your goal

if you really do want to improve your life and remove those self inflicted shackles of addiction and to recover from your emotion driven compulsive behaviours then you are at a good place to make that a reality, RN can show you the way
To achieve recovery then commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand, this community is supportive to those who demonstrate sincerity in their journey
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path, you have not been abandoned

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone, many have taken the path sucessfully, your actions are yours but you are not the first and unfortunately will not be the last
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting , reading, evaluating and putting into practice what you have learned, be open be honest, nobody here will judge you
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination


remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 7:08 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2018 5:52 pm
Posts: 4
Thank you for your encouraging words coach Kenzo. I will dedicate time for this every day and trust in the process.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 7:37 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2018 5:52 pm
Posts: 4
My vision for life:

I live a life with integrity, honesty and without regret. I want to be a good son, a great brother and a good boyfriend; someone they can depend on and trust. I want to devote myself to building an intimate, good life with my girlfriend and a home where i can someday be a good father to my kids.
I want to be unselfish and contribute back to my community and help those I can. I
want to be a good manager and a good leader who can deal with stresses in healthy positive ways and have a good productive career.
I choose to make my family proud and never feel the need to hide anything from them.

I choose to rebuild my relationship with God. I choose to become emotionally mature and deal with life's stresses in positive and productive ways. I want to devote my life to pursuing positive, creative adventures that truly fulfill me as opposed to leaving me empty inside


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2019 9:43 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2018 5:52 pm
Posts: 4
This is just a note to myself that even though I haven't posted my exercises in a while I am still sober and still working on this. It's been about 19 days on this journey and I will keep going. Work and life have been busy but my recovery is my focus. It is still my priority. I will not give up


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 25, 2019 8:24 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3829
Location: UK
Hello NtC
remember saying
Quote:
I will dedicate time for this every day and trust in the process.



followed by
Quote:
This is just a note to myself that even though I haven't posted my exercises in a while I am still sober and still working on this. It's been about 19 days on this journey and I will keep going. Work and life have been busy but my recovery is my focus. It is still my priority. I will not give up

:pe:

the process needs continuity
without it you will fail
being sober does not constitute recovery recovery needs more than sobriety
RN can and does provide a proven well trodden road map, but it can only ever be a guide
the commitment and work needs to be from you and yes life can be and is busy but as addicts we all always found time to act out

please take this comment as being positive demonstrate your worth to yourself

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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