Recovery Nation

Personal Development Forum
It is currently Thu Nov 21, 2019 10:32 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 39 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2019 11:45 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Wanted to share. I have removed all my accounts I used for my sex and porn addiction. Keeping them was probably comforting. I want to not rely on my old habbits and form new ones.

Creating the value and the plan helped me see what are the positive habbits I need to creat. Funnily, I'm reading the book Atomic habbits. It is the same concept of doing small things that will later create a big impact.

When I look back. I overcame my health issues and find it hard to break. I bond with my daughter every day and she tells me she loves me. I cut out all my friends and kept the ones that know my secrets. I gained new friends over my healthy habbits.

Now that I'm starting a new relationship with someone new. It feels fresh. I'm learning from my mistakes and feeling new emotions. However, my past is crashing with my future. My anxieties are raising, but remain in control.

I need to overcome my fears now and realise life after addiction exists.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2019 12:04 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Lesson 14

Monitoring plan

Mind
* Have I visited the forum and read my story to remind me how far I've gone?
* Did I feel anxious?
* If so, did I reflect on it?
* If it was overwhelming, did I meditate to calm done.
* Was my reaction rational?
* Was I upset today?
* If so, did I share this with anyone?
* Did I comfron the person in a diplomatic way?
* If not, did I let go?
* Did I tell the truth?
* If not, was it to protect yourself?
* Did I read or listen to my audio book?
* Have I given in to my addiction? Porn or sex?

Connections
* Did I contact my daughter?
* Did I give her 100% of my attention?
* Did I ask about her day?
* Did I talk to my ex?
* Was it a positive outcome?
* Did I contact one of my friends?
* Have I complemented my partner?
* Have I asked her about her day?
* Did I remain honest to her?
* Did I ignore anyone because I didn't want to talk?

Body
* Did I eat at least 2 clean meals?
* Did I do 30 min of activities?
* If not was it a rest day?
* Have I put myself in danger?

Living
* Have I checked my balance?
* Did I indulge?
* How will I prevent it next time?
* Is the house clean?


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2019 12:20 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Monitoring plan - Day 1 19/02/19

Mind
* Have I visited the forum and read my story to remind me how far I've gone? Yes
* Did I feel anxious? Yes
* If so, did I reflect on it? Yes
* If it was overwhelming, did I meditate to calm done. Didn't need to.
* Was my reaction rational? Yes
* Was I upset today? No
* If so, did I share this with anyone?
* Did I comfron the person in a diplomatic way?
* If not, did I let go?
* Did I tell the truth? Yes
* If not, was it to protect yourself?
* Did I read or listen to my audio book? Yes
* Have I given in to my addiction? Yes 20 minutes of porn out of boredom.

Connections
* Did I contact my daughter? Yes
* Did I give her 100% of my attention? Yes
* Did I ask about her day? Yes
* Did I talk to my ex? Yes
* Was it a positive outcome? Yes
* Did I contact one of my friends? Yes
* Have I complemented my partner? Yes
* Have I asked her about her day? Yes
* Did I remain honest to her? Yes
* Did I ignore anyone because I didn't want to talk? No

Body
* Did I eat at least 2 clean meals? Yes
* Did I do 30 min of activities? Yes
* If not was it a rest day?
* Have I put myself in danger? No

Living
* Have I checked my balance? Yes
* Did I indulge? Yes
* How will I prevent it next time? Male my own coffee
* Is the house clean? Yes


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2019 12:22 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Monitoring plan - Day 2 20/02/19

Mind
* Have I visited the forum and read my story to remind me how far I've gone? Yes
* Did I feel anxious? Yes
* If so, did I reflect on it? Yes. Spoke to family
* If it was overwhelming, did I meditate to calm done. Didn't need to.
* Was my reaction rational? Yes
* Was I upset today? No
* If so, did I share this with anyone?
* Did I comfron the person in a diplomatic way?
* If not, did I let go?
* Did I tell the truth? Yes
* If not, was it to protect yourself?
* Did I read or listen to my audio book? Yes
* Have I given in to my addiction? Yes 15 minutes of porn out of boredom and arousal. No negative impacts.

Connections
* Did I contact my daughter? No. Day away and I forgot to ring.
* Did I give her 100% of my attention?
* Did I ask about her day?
* Did I talk to my ex? Yes
* Was it a positive outcome? Yes
* Did I contact one of my friends? Yes
* Have I complemented my partner? Yes
* Have I asked her about her day? Yes
* Did I remain honest to her? Yes
* Did I ignore anyone because I didn't want to talk? No

Body
* Did I eat at least 2 clean meals? Yes
* Did I do 30 min of activities? Yes
* If not was it a rest day?
* Have I put myself in danger? No

Living
* Have I checked my balance? Yes
* Did I indulge? No
* How will I prevent it next time?
* Is the house clean? Yes


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2019 12:40 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Monitoring plan - Day 3 21/02/19

Mind
* Have I visited the forum and read my story to remind me how far I've gone? Yes
* Did I feel anxious? No
* If so, did I reflect on it?
* If it was overwhelming, did I meditate to calm done?
* Was my reaction rational?
* Was I upset today? No
* If so, did I share this with anyone?
* Did I comfron the person in a diplomatic way?
* If not, did I let go?
* Did I tell the truth? Yes
* If not, was it to protect yourself?
* Did I read or listen to my audio book? Yes
* Have I given in to my addiction? Yes at first but after 5 min with porn. Then did it thinking about my partner.

Connections
* Did I contact my daughter? Yes
* Did I give her 100% of my attention? Yes
* Did I ask about her day? Yes
* Did I talk to my ex? Yes
* Was it a positive outcome? Yes
* Did I contact one of my friends? Yes
* Have I complemented my partner? Yes
* Have I asked her about her day? Yes
* Did I remain honest to her? Yes
* Did I ignore anyone because I didn't want to talk? No

Body
* Did I eat at least 2 clean meals? Yes
* Did I do 30 min of activities? Yes
* If not was it a rest day?
* Have I put myself in danger? No

Living
* Have I checked my balance? Yes
* Did I indulge? No
* How will I prevent it next time?
* Is the house clean? Yes


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2019 3:34 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Lesson 15

Looking back in the past couple of weeks I had reflected how far I’ve gone. Rewriting my vision really made me think deep inside in what I wanted. Sadly 2 years ago I was still discovering what I wanted. Now I’m able to set in stone and believe in it. I notice in the past weeks I had changed my attitude towards addiction.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2019 3:53 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Lesson 16

The positivities from my addictions
* The ability to read people’s emotions. I used it hide my addiction my whole life. But I use it to empathize with people.
* The ability to obsess on something. I use it on the positive things. When I’m passionate I try and try to get better and have the will to continue.
* Drive. The money I spent drove me to be earn more. Although for the wrong reason, when used correctly I gain so much more.
* Imagination. The fantasies I dream up of allow my imagination to go wild. Not only with sex but with stories and presentations at work.


Last edited by Ragingbull on Mon Apr 22, 2019 3:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2019 3:59 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Monitoring plan - Day 4 22/02/19

Mind
* Have I visited the forum and read my story to remind me how far I've gone? Yes
* Did I feel anxious? No
* If so, did I reflect on it?
* If it was overwhelming, did I meditate to calm down?
* Was my reaction rational?
* Was I upset today? No
* If so, did I share this with anyone?
* Did I comfron the person in a diplomatic way?
* If not, did I let go?
* Did I tell the truth? Yes
* If not, was it to protect yourself?
* Did I read or listen to my audio book? No
* Have I given in to my addiction? No

Connections
* Did I contact my daughter? Yes
* Did I give her 100% of my attention? Yes
* Did I ask about her day? Yes
* Did I talk to my ex? Yes
* Was it a positive outcome? Mixed. Talked about divorce.
* Did I contact one of my friends? Yes
* Have I complemented my partner? Yes
* Have I asked her about her day? Yes
* Did I remain honest to her? Yes
* Did I ignore anyone because I didn't want to talk? No

Body
* Did I eat at least 2 clean meals? Yes
* Did I do 30 min of activities? Yes
* If not was it a rest day?
* Have I put myself in danger? No

Living
* Have I checked my balance? Yes
* Did I indulge? Yes
* How will I prevent it next time? Make my own lunch.
* Is the house clean? Yes


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2019 4:36 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Lesson 17

One of my rituals is masturbation to pornography.

The initial triggers tend to be anxiety and loneliness. It would include sensory stimulation. Sight in watching the acts happen online and touch. It is related to my past as I had sexual abuse but also exposed to porn soon after. Porn has been a comfort for decades. Finally orgasm that has a strong feeling that takes away the anxiety.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2019 5:29 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Lesson 18

The use of pornography.

Sensory - Sight to visually see the acts that arouse me most. Touch to help me achieve orgasm.
Past - was sexually abused and began with masturbation.
Power - I am in control of my own pleasure. I do not trust others in this.
Orgasm - intoxicated to relieve stress or anxiety I have

Time - to take my time for a few hours making it last.
Intensity - high to ensure that it is enjoyable to make it last over a long time which helps remove anxieties.
Habituation - the more frequent the better. It doesn't lose its touch unless physically I'm unable to


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Apr 24, 2019 1:48 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Monitoring plan - Day 5 23/02/19

Mind
* Have I visited the forum and read my story to remind me how far I've gone? Yes
* Did I feel anxious? No
* If so, did I reflect on it?
* If it was overwhelming, did I meditate to calm down?
* Was my reaction rational?
* Was I upset today? No
* If so, did I share this with anyone?
* Did I comfron the person in a diplomatic way?
* If not, did I let go?
* Did I tell the truth? Yes
* If not, was it to protect yourself?
* Did I read or listen to my audio book? Yes
* Have I given in to my addiction? I did due to being aroused. I used porn for 5 minutes but then fantasised about my partner.

Connections
* Did I contact my daughter? Yes
* Did I give her 100% of my attention? Yes
* Did I ask about her day? Yes
* Did I talk to my ex? Yes
* Was it a positive outcome? Negative. I was insensitive about divorce and the timing was bad. I realise I was too enthusiastic. But a phase I have to get through. I want an open communication channel good or bad. But my reaction wasn't negative. This is a huge improvement.
* Did I contact one of my friends? Yes
* Have I complemented my partner? Yes
* Have I asked her about her day? Yes
* Did I remain honest to her? Yes
* Did I ignore anyone because I didn't want to talk? No

Body
* Did I eat at least 2 clean meals? Yes
* Did I do 30 min of activities? Yes
* If not was it a rest day?
* Have I put myself in danger? No

Living
* Have I checked my balance? Yes
* Did I indulge? No
* How will I prevent it next time?
* Is the house clean? Yes.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Apr 25, 2019 7:41 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Monitoring plan - Day 6 24/02/19

Mind
* Have I visited the forum and read my story to remind me how far I've gone? Yes
* Did I feel anxious? No
* If so, did I reflect on it?
* If it was overwhelming, did I meditate to calm down?
* Was my reaction rational?
* Was I upset today? No
* If so, did I share this with anyone?
* Did I comfron the person in a diplomatic way?
* If not, did I let go?
* Did I tell the truth? Yes
* If not, was it to protect yourself?
* Did I read or listen to my audio book? Yes
* Have I given in to my addiction? No. Realising there is a difference with habit of this Vs. Being aroused. All my other addictions are not there.

Connections
* Did I contact my daughter? Yes
* Did I give her 100% of my attention? Yes
* Did I ask about her day? Yes
* Did I talk to my ex? Yes
* Was it a positive outcome? Positive. After the conversation it was sorted.
* Did I contact one of my friends? Yes
* Have I complemented my partner? Yes
* Have I asked her about her day? Yes
* Did I remain honest to her? Yes
* Did I ignore anyone because I didn't want to talk? No

Body
* Did I eat at least 2 clean meals? Yes
* Did I do 30 min of activities? Yes
* If not was it a rest day?
* Have I put myself in danger? No

Living
* Have I checked my balance? Yes
* Did I indulge? No
* How will I prevent it next time?
* Is the house clean? Yes


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:20 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Monitoring plan - Day 7 25/04/19

Mind
* Have I visited the forum and read my story to remind me how far I've gone? Yes
* Did I feel anxious? No
* If so, did I reflect on it?
* If it was overwhelming, did I meditate to calm down?
* Was my reaction rational?
* Was I upset today? No
* If so, did I share this with anyone?
* Did I comfron the person in a diplomatic way?
* If not, did I let go?
* Did I tell the truth? Yes
* If not, was it to protect yourself?
* Did I read or listen to my audio book? Yes
* Have I given in to my addiction? No
Connections
* Did I contact my daughter? Yes
* Did I give her 100% of my attention? Yes
* Did I ask about her day? Yes
* Did I talk to my ex? Yes
* Was it a positive outcome? Yes
* Did I contact one of my friends? Yes
* Have I complemented my partner? Yes
* Have I asked her about her day? Yes
* Did I remain honest to her? Yes
* Did I ignore anyone because I didn't want to talk? No

Body
* Did I eat at least 2 clean meals? Yes
* Did I do 30 min of activities? Yes
* If not was it a rest day?
* Have I put myself in danger? No

Living
* Have I checked my balance? Yes
* Did I indulge? No
* How will I prevent it next time?
* Is the house clean? Yes


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:21 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Monitoring plan - Day 8 26/04/19

Mind
* Have I visited the forum and read my story to remind me how far I've gone? Yes
* Did I feel anxious? No
* If so, did I reflect on it?
* If it was overwhelming, did I meditate to calm down?
* Was my reaction rational?
* Was I upset today? No
* If so, did I share this with anyone?
* Did I comfron the person in a diplomatic way?
* If not, did I let go?
* Did I tell the truth? Yes
* If not, was it to protect yourself?
* Did I read or listen to my audio book? Yes
* Have I given in to my addiction? No
Connections
* Did I contact my daughter? Yes
* Did I give her 100% of my attention? Yes
* Did I ask about her day? Yes
* Did I talk to my ex? Yes
* Was it a positive outcome? Yes
* Did I contact one of my friends? Yes
* Have I complemented my partner? Yes
* Have I asked her about her day? Yes
* Did I remain honest to her? Yes
* Did I ignore anyone because I didn't want to talk? No

Body
* Did I eat at least 2 clean meals? Yes
* Did I do 30 min of activities? Yes
* If not was it a rest day?
* Have I put myself in danger? No

Living
* Have I checked my balance? Yes
* Did I indulge? No
* How will I prevent it next time?
* Is the house clean? Yes


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Apr 30, 2019 5:31 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 35
Monitoring plan - Day 9 27/04/19

Mind
* Have I visited the forum and read my story to remind me how far I've gone? Yes
* Did I feel anxious? No
* If so, did I reflect on it?
* If it was overwhelming, did I meditate to calm down?
* Was my reaction rational?
* Was I upset today? No
* If so, did I share this with anyone?
* Did I comfron the person in a diplomatic way?
* If not, did I let go?
* Did I tell the truth? Yes
* If not, was it to protect yourself?
* Did I read or listen to my audio book? Yes
* Have I given in to my addiction? No
Connections
* Did I contact my daughter? Yes
* Did I give her 100% of my attention? Yes
* Did I ask about her day? Yes
* Did I talk to my ex? Yes
* Was it a positive outcome? Yes
* Did I contact one of my friends? Yes
* Have I complemented my partner? Yes
* Have I asked her about her day? Yes
* Did I remain honest to her? Yes
* Did I ignore anyone because I didn't want to talk? No

Body
* Did I eat at least 2 clean meals? Yes
* Did I do 30 min of activities? Yes
* If not was it a rest day?
* Have I put myself in danger? No

Living
* Have I checked my balance? Yes
* Did I indulge? No
* How will I prevent it next time?
* Is the house clean? Yes


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 39 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group