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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2020 1:40 pm 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 264
Quote:
Fortunately, my days of pre loading and cravings have been dampened - I assume by continuous recovery work changing my brain chemistry.The circuit direct to porn and unwsb's is still there and ready to go in an instant but I have built connections around it which allow me to recognise that I DON'T HAVE TO have a setback - I have a choice - I always have a choice.The years invested in Recovery have bought me a few extra precious seconds when the wave hits when I can take a moment to think about what I REALLY want, the emotional process that I am going through and the real consequences of any actions that I take.


Well done Ace, this is exactly the thinking that will keep you the right road to recovery :g:

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 7:28 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 218
Location: Ireland
Thank you Thesus

Lesson 59

This lesson discusses evolving reaction plans as it is impossible to prepare for every scenario.
However by being aware of the process of the ritual of engagement, the automatic behavioural response and lingering emotions and mind games that my addictive voice will often come up with then I am well prepared.
Coach Jon talks about using regular 5 minute sessions rather than less regular longer ‘efforts’ at recovery and visualisations of a trigger and the steps that follow it and how Values based decisions can be chosen versus emotion based.
Also, how there are many steps in each situation that can cause a problem for example
1. At the desk at home, alone – I am bored/lonely/tired/pissed off and I know that the screen offers me a short term but real and highly chemical filled escape/relief
2. I feel the pull of that and the negotiations begin – My authentic self wishing to stay true to my Values and my Addictive voice attempting to convince me that its okay to take a look – (just this once)
3. It was L2R who in a previous post commented that if he has spent 20 mins looking at escort sites before work he too would have struggled later that day as I did. That contribution really helped me as since then I worked on ‘closing the door’ to those compulsive thoughts BEFORE they really took hold and that turned the balance of power in my favour – Suddenly it was easier to stay on the right course (of my values) as I did’nt have that exhausting ‘tug of war’ about will I / wont I look at this image.
In the past the addictive voice would try and get me to look with arguments such as
(1) You deserve to look – you hav’nt looked in ages
(2) You should look – everyone does
(3) Don’t be such a wuss – if you cant look at a sexy image without losing control then there is no hope for you – you may as well just throw in the towel
(4) You NEED it – This craving needs to be placated
(5) Its just an appreciation of the female form!
(6) Etc. etc.

4. When I don’t act out – there is no celebration – no one gives me a standing ovation – it’s a real anti climax! Then the mind games may begin – “see you lost out there – you are stillfeeling bored/lonely/ tired/depressed – you should have acted out – then at least you would feel better for a little while – its not too late you know ….lets have a look….”
5. When I do act out, this lesson is a reminder that there are ‘choice points’ at each stage and how it is important to have awareness and plans for each of those…It is NEVER too late to come back to your values because eventually you will be coming back to them anyway as they are the cornerstones of happiness.
Coach Jon also talks about Pro action and post action – that’s an area I had skimmed over in the past but the further I get on the recovery road the more I realise how important that is.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Mon May 18, 2020 10:07 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 218
Location: Ireland
Quote:
Lesson 60 Exercise:
1. Develop a Plan
Engaging in these five actions will ensure that you maintain the most efficient skills for preventing relapse. Develop a plan that is unique to you. Post this plan on your Recovery Thread.


This is an area that I ignored in my previous recovery attepmts, sure I had an 'idea' of a plan but thats like someone who has an 'idea' of opening anew business.
When either idea stays in that box it will never happen.
I have found a daily journal about how yesterday went, what is planned for today, how my emotional state is and is expected to be has been very helpful for teh last few months.

In the past I would reach a certain stage of recovery and then feel that I 'know' what to do and will 'just do it'.The reality was different - I would eventually slip and relapse.
A plan to prevent a repeat of that mistake includes

1. Conistency - Write my journal each morning just as I have been doing
2. Honesty - Beginning with self - how am I emotionaly?
3. Investigation - Are there any incidents/thoughts of a compulsive nature that have occurred in teh last 24 hrs that I need to investigate further or role play to a value based conclusion?
4. Accountability - Be completely honest with myself and a least one other even if it means feeling uncomfortable
5. Review and Plan - review where I am in my life, what % of my time am I spending on values based activities - If heading out of balance how can i 'rebalnce' eg. arrange to spend more quality time with kids, wife, friends, on my own.....



Quote:
2. Motivators
A fundamental of early recovery is to establish a list of positive motivators that can be used to sustain one's focus and energy throughout the transition to health. Go back and examine your own motivators (Lesson One) — note those that continue to motivate you today and those that have lost their intensity. You will almost universally conclude that it is the positive motivators that have survived the crisis. Those based on negativity and fear (e.g. I don't want to lose my marriage; I hate who I have become) tend to lose their ability to motivate as the initial crisis wanes.


I did'nt really have negative motivators as read the original lesson and was advised then how they do not provide long term motivation, also as I did'nt come here as many have done after an ultimatum or 'rock bottom' event (rather it was a case of just being fed up with the cycle of wanting to stop - trying to stop - slipping - feeling bad - slipping - wanting to stop - trying to stop etc.

My motivators
1. I want to have an honest and open relationship with my wife
2. I want her to trust me
3. I want to feel 'in control' of my choices and actions
4. I want that glorious feeling of 'having nothing to hide' - there is nothing on my phone/email or elsewhere that would incriminate me
5. I want to feel at peace with myself - accept that I am imperfect but that that is perfectly fine
6. I want to be more present for my kids - I want to be a better Father to them
7. I want to have more time to invest in my business, my family, myself
8. I want to enjoy playing golf and tennis and working out knowing that this is extra time I have bought myself by my choices
9. I want to be financialy Independent as my extra time and energy is directed to that pursuit
10. I want to feel balanced

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2020 4:58 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 264
Hi Ace,

Your methods for sticking to recovery should keep you on the right track, but you do need to keep them going.

I think your motivators are very similar to mine and have worked very well for me.
Quote:
4. I want that glorious feeling of 'having nothing to hide' - there is nothing on my phone/email or elsewhere that would incriminate me

This quote is something that I had not felt for a long long time and now it means so much, something I feel every day.

Keep up the good work.

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2020 5:45 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 218
Location: Ireland
Thank you Thesus

I find it hard to believe that I have not written here since May.

I have continued following the principles but noticed that I have been 'triggered' more often. Then today I read L2R's post

Quote:
So i thought long and hard about it and came to the realisation that my problems start when i dwell on inappropriate thoughts. This should be headed off by the very first stage of my action plans which make a point of not "dwelling" on thoughts for even an instant and to take the break and divert my attention elsewhere. Call it complacency, call it laziness, whatever, but the root of the problem is right there.


Reading that I realise again where I ma going wrong. I make great progress. I notice that the cravings reduce or diminish. I see how good my life can be and I begin to 'coast'.
After a while I am no longer " All in" - I am "partly in" and the thoughts that have been teh foundation of thousands of fantasies in the past are allowed to develop.

When I cut those thoughts off at the root - BEFORE They are given any time or energy - my day is ;less stressed and I don't have teh hangover of shame or dissapointment of post slip fatigue.

The addictive voice/inner critic in me says "C'mon! Its been months!!! you've got this down - surely you can look at a sexy you tube video and not be overly triggered - you have solved this and now can live a 'normal' life and watch as many sex scenes on TV as you want or go to teh beach and ogle as many female bodies as you want and you wont act out - you'll just be 'normal".....

Thats a lie I have been telling myself - the truth is that when I open teh door to those thoughts the circuitry or pathway to my brain lights up like a Christmas tree!
I need to remember that I am like an alcoholic who take sthat one drink that turns into a 3 day bender.

Complacency is an enemy and I need toi be aware of it. - No more than that - I need to take action when I see it as I have done in teh last week or two. I have allowed the door to open - and for what??
For a few seconds/minutes of fantasy that simply feeds the addiction that I am trying to escape?!?

Its not worth it. I am lucky to have (with RN's help) been far enough down teh Recovery path to know what its like to be without acting out and without cravings - to make decisions based on my values rather than my emotions and feels SO much better for it.

The patterns of fantasy have been ingrained over decades and I need to ensure that I recognise how dangerous it is to allow those thoughts to develop and cut them off at the root.

I am very grateful for this site and all its contributors.
I needed a course adjustment, that was it.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2020 3:14 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 218
Location: Ireland
Lesson 61

Consider your current vision. See how it has evolved from it's initial state (Lesson Two). See which areas of this vision continue to guide you, which you have come to evolve, which you have come to neglect and which are now irrelevant.


This was avery interesting lesson.

My (first) practical Vision for a healthy life.

Quote:
To be content in my own skin, to feel at ease that I am to a large degree in control of my destiny. I want to have an open and honest relationship with my wife where she feels valued and understood.
I want to be the best Dad that I can be by being patient, considerate, understanding and willing to accept that parenting is a learning process but there are proven guidelines that make it easier for all involved.
I want to take pleasure in my career, to feel that I am contributing to society and being well rewarded for it financially and otherwise.
I want to be fit and healthy, to use my body to enjoy life walks, hikes, running etc.
I want to be open to understanding myself more, without judging and berating myself for what I have not done or what I do not have. I want to feel a sense of connection with a greater power than myself. I am not particularly religious but I know that there is alot in the world and my mind that I or no one else understands.


Quote:
1. To be content in my own skin, to feel at ease that I am to a large degree in control of my destiny. I want to have an open and honest relationship with my wife where she feels valued and understood.


1. I am not there yet. I still struggle to some degree with unwanted sexual thoughts and behaviours - much much less than I did when I stsrted the program but they are still there and I have to keep 'managing' my life to manage them away. I have grown closer with my wife particularly within the last 3 mths of lockdown but again I am not where I want to be.

2.
Quote:
I want to be the best Dad that I can be by being patient, considerate, understanding and willing to accept that parenting is a learning process but there are proven guidelines that make it easier for all involved.


Quote:
3. I want to take pleasure in my career, to feel that I am contributing to society and being well rewarded for it financially and otherwise.


This one I probably made teh most progress on (before Covid 19!!! Now the dial has been comepletely reset, I have been unable to work for the last 3 mths and the restrictions will affect businesses like my own until next year. However - tht is all out of my control - what had been in my control I had done well in.
Again , I think I have made improvements and for someone like me (who's default thought process is that I am no good) then admitting that improvements have bene made is definite progress.

4.
Quote:
I want to be fit and healthy, to use my body to enjoy life walks, hikes, running etc.


Now looking back over these I see that I need to PLAN and appoint those walks/ Hikes - otherwise they wont happen. I have excercised more however which again is positive

Quote:
5. I want to be open to understanding myself more, without judging and berating myself for what I have not done or what I do not have.


This has also improved - possibly through an awareness through RN that simply continually beating myself up every time I had a slip is counterproductive. Better to accept that it was 100% my responsibility and then visualise and plan for the other choices that I coulkd make in teh future.
Sitting at my office desk knowing that my family are away for hours and that I can look up ANYTHING that I want to on the internet but NOT WANTING to do anything that is against my values has been a great feeling. One of lifes best.

Quote:
6. I want to feel a sense of connection with a greater power than myself. I am not particularly religious but I know that there is alot in the world and my mind that I or no one else
understands


I have not made any progress on this - my action plan included reading more on spirituality, praying and meditating. I have done very little of any of the above.

If the purpose of this excercise is to assess where I am right now compared to the Values I had stated as important to me then I can see that I have succeeded in some while not moving forward in others.
I think it will be helpful to write out my values again after this excercise.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2020 3:27 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 218
Location: Ireland
My Values

1. I want to feel needed - whether that is providing financial assistance or fixing a job around the house.
2. I want to feel that I have achieved -
3. I want my family to love me to see me as a Great dad and husband.
4. I want money in my pocket knowing that I have financial security
5. I want to be strong and healthy – I want to be able to protect myself and my family if ever called upon to do so physically
6. I want to be without Pain – in joints etc
7. I want to be recognised at good at what I do
8. I want to have a sense of contentedness
9. I want my kids to trust me and come to me for advice if they ever need it and want to play golf with me or hike or whatever
10. I want to have a fantastic relationship with my wife – where we prefer spending time wit each other than anyone else
11. I want my wife to understand me and I want to understand her
12. I want to really appreciate her
13. I want to have an adventure
14. I want to spend time with good friends laughing and learning
15. I want to play an instrument
16. I want to be well read and informed about what is going on in the world
17. I want to wake early and get a lot done in the quiet hours of the morning
18. I want to live pain free
19. I want to be able to sit and read without feeling that I should be doing something else

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2020 5:34 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 4019
Location: UK
Hi Ace
a few posts ago you wrote

Quote:
I find it hard to believe that I have not written here since May.

Quote:
I realise again where I ma going wrong. I make great progress. I notice that the cravings reduce or diminish. I see how good my life can be and I begin to 'coast'.
After a while I am no longer " All in" - I am "partly in" and the thoughts that have been teh foundation of thousands of fantasies in the past are allowed to develop.


Now it has been a while
so are you still in that same place? :pe: :pe: :pe:

you and you alone choose your path

you can only do this if you really want to
ask yourself
what does this addiction give me?
then ask
what does it cost me?

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2020 4:17 pm 
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Posts: 218
Location: Ireland
I just read this on L2R's post..
Quote:
Also the acid test for me is wanting to be around RN, I know that when things are going according to plan I like being here, when they are not then I feel the need to hide away which is pathetic but honest
.
I feel the same, that is why I left RN.
I found it hard to stay committed to recovery and instead would close my eyes and hope for the best.
I would convince myself that as I was ' managing' my behaviours the I could afford to stop making any real investment in recovery.
When I am consistently reading and posting on this site something miraculous happens - the cravings lessen....and when I am not the cravings intensify.
Logic tells me to do more but something stops me.
If I dont do it no one can do it for me, quit crying g anout it and take action, u get in what you get out etc etc I know all the catchphrases but cant seem to commit to any worthwhile degree.
I feel like a loser - that's why I left , and why I am reaching out here again.
I'm making a commitment to retry.
I am grateful that the support is here.
The least I can do is contribute some time and effort after all it is my life

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2020 3:37 am 
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Location: Ireland
I am not sure whether to restart from the beginning of the workshop or take off from where I left off.
I think I will take off from where I left off the last time.
The thing is I feel that I know the advice that is being given here and I could give the same advice my self. It is the implementation that is the problem.
Like a 300lb obese Gym instructor who is a encyclopedai of knowledge of how to lose fat and gain muscle, increase his mobility/functionality and gain better health - however - without implemenation of the principles he stays at 300lbs and beats himself up each day for being stuck.
i know that this may come across as moaning or whining and if I were on the sidelines I would be screaming "STFU and get the finger out and JUST DO IT!!" but I am being honest about the situation..

L2R wrote in a post recently about how he had seen a decline in posts or activity on this site - The way I see it perhaps 10% of people who came onto the site and began the lessons may not have had a 'real' problem and so left.
Another 10% have stuck at it and are seeing improvements in their lives but 80% stop and start (I am within that group) make progress, then regress. That are just my thoughts and may not be accurate but I say it to underline how sticking at something hard (whether that be working at a difficult job, trying to stay on a diet and workout plan or investing time in recovery) will not work with half efforts - I know that - all the people who do not stick with it know it BUT knowledge is not enough - implementation is key.
So how to increase the chances of implementation? Well motivation is the driver. I hav eread plenty of storis here of guys who have had 'D Day' and are at their perceived rock bottom - under the threat of bing thrown out of their house, losing their family and home, perhaps job and income - they attack the lessons with fervour only to see that motivation dissapear after a few weeks/ months when the dust has settled.
I have motivation - I love my wife and kids as much as anyone here does - I recognise that engaging in certain behaviours is a slippery slide to more promiscuous behaviours which will have very real and disastrous consequences. I want to lead one life rather than a double life.
I recognise the times in my life when I have been porn or fantasy free have been much better than the times I have been stuck in the porn/ compulsive behaviour loop..
So why dont I just STOP?
Is it because I just dont want it bad enough?
Is it because although I say I love my wife and kids as much as some of the other guys who seem to succeed I actually dont as they commit to recovery and I dont - ?
Is it because I am in too deep for too long?

I dont think so - I think I need to find a way to make regular contributions here and in other areas of recovery (keeping balance - working on my values etc)
I am starting that now by committing to a minimum of 3 lessons per week from today.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Wed Dec 16, 2020 1:47 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 264
Hi Ace,
Quote:
So why don't I just STOP?
Is it because I just don't want it bad enough?
Is it because although I say I love my wife and kids as much as some of the other guys who seem to succeed I actually dont as they commit to recovery and I dont - ?
Is it because I am in too deep for too long?

There is no doubt that having a D-day is the biggest wake-up call a person can have, but at that point the person has to REALLY admit that they have a problem that is damaging their life! I personally had other moments in my life, but none made me stop and admit I had an issue.
Without D-day you must seriously think about your life and what you have done.
Remember CoachJohn said
Quote:
If your primary motivation to recover stems from the desires of others...You will fail in your recovery.

You said...
Quote:
I don't think so - I think I need to find a way to make regular contributions here and in other areas of recovery (keeping balance - working on my values etc)
I am starting that now by committing to a minimum of 3 lessons per week from today.

Make that commitment Ace :g:

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2020 4:30 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 218
Location: Ireland
Quote:
Lesson 61

Consider your current vision. See how it has evolved from it's initial state (Lesson Two). See which areas of this vision continue to guide you, which you have come to evolve, which you have come to neglect and which are now irrelevant.


Coach Jon has said that the vision can be constantly evolving. I think part pf my problem was that my values were about things I aspire to rather than are more realistic. As I cant seem to get to a week or two without P or MB I think I will make my values more daily and attainable for me so that I can relate to them more (so instead of having a grand plan of one day learning the keyboard and spending time nurturing my creative side (HARD WORK, UNLIKLEY TO HAPPEN WITHOUT LOTS OF EFFORT AND A CHANGE OF LIFE /PATTERS) I can stick at least for the next month with the activities that stoke teh same flames of creativity.

For example writing here on RN or another recovery effort switches on a part of my brain that is less automatic and more thoughtful and attains my goal of 'spending time nurturing my creative side' - I think I need to walk before I can run.

So getting back to Values - I want to enjoy that feeling of not having anything incriminating on my phone - thats not about keeping my wife happy - its about keeping ME happy - knowing that I have 'nothing to hide' - I have experienced both those opposite emotions when my wife picks up my phone unexpectedly - from FEAR and SHAME to a sense of Control - That there is nothing hidden - everything is okay.
That sense of 'being at peace' with myself is a Value I can really relate to on a daily basis but it comes from more that not looking at P - it comes from knowing that teh fundamentals of my life are moving in the right direction - ie the relationship with my wife and kids and self.

Perhaps I am fooling myself - perhaps I need to start RN from the beginning.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2020 4:48 am 
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Posts: 218
Location: Ireland
Quote:
Lesson 1 Exercises:
A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change
2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
3) allowing yourself time to change.
Consider where you feel you are in relation to each of these recovery keys? Briefly share your thoughts in your Recovery Thread.


1/ Its interestinga nd alarming that on Q 1 of page 1 about "actively commiting myself to change" I feel hesitation - not becaue I dont want to chnage but because I have dealt with addiction in some form or another for most of my life and I have "Actively Commited myself to change " in the past only to fail.
Kind of like a Football team who have this huge emotive pre match team talk where they are hitting helmets off each other are completely pumped up for a win - can see no other outcome and then come in at half time physically and menatlly defeated.
When you try and try and do not succeed eventually you stsrt to have a hard time believing that you will ever succeed.

The fatality of this is not lost on me - That team cited above may have had alot more chance of success as they went out with a positive believing outlook rather than a defeatist view that 'they probably wont win anyway"....
So thats what I take away from that lesson - I NEED TO CHANGE MY MINDSET - FORGET WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST AND REMEMBER IT WORK IF YOU WORK IT SO I GOTTA FIND A WAY OF MAKING SURE THAT I WORK IT.

Quote:
2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change[/quote

Interesting that that is the first peice of advice given by Coach Jon. I carry alot of shame - seeing it written here helps reenforce how unhelpful it is to recovery.
Quote:
3) allowing yourself time to change.


I have always been in a hurry to 'get over this' - 'leave it behind me and move on' however that attitude has not worked for decades. When I view recovery as a life long choice I seem to do better so this suggestion of allowing myself time to change is appreciated.
I am looking for tools that help manage my life and make it better and more fulfilling so that I can see myself as someone who USED to use addiction to manage their life but now uses better tools.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2020 5:21 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 4019
Location: UK
Hello Ace
Quote:
Perhaps I am fooling myself - perhaps I need to start RN from the beginning.


IMO this is a good choice, not that you are starting again from the same starting place, you have learned from your journey thus far even though some of what you have learned about yourself is difficult to swallow , but you need that, the incentive of recovery bekons you, so strive for it and you will achieve
Quote:
I have dealt with addiction in some form or another for most of my life



dealt with or lived with?????????????

Quote:
I NEED TO CHANGE MY MINDSET - FORGET WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST AND REMEMBER IT WORK IF YOU WORK IT SO I GOTTA FIND A WAY OF MAKING SURE THAT I WORK IT.



:g: :g: :g: :g: :g: :g: :g: :g: :g:
Now go to it


Quote:
I am looking for tools that help manage my life and make it better and more fulfilling so that I can see myself as someone who USED to use addiction to manage their life but now uses better tools.


Ace
you have these tools, commit to using them

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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 Post subject: Re: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Sat Dec 19, 2020 5:19 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 218
Location: Ireland
Quote:
Quote:
I am looking for tools that help manage my life and make it better and more fulfilling so that I can see myself as someone who USED to use addiction to manage their life but now uses better tools.


Ace
you have these tools, commit to using them


Thankyou for teh advice Kenzo. You are correct - I do have the tools , I could write a book about all I know about addiction recovery - its te consistency and commitment that has waned in teh past and thus kept me in this loop - also you are correct even though I am starting again - I am not stsrting from the same point.

Lesson 2 - My Vision

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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