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 Post subject: Re: The long road ahead!
PostPosted: Wed Sep 18, 2019 2:48 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3815
Location: UK
Hi T
A happy anniversary to the both of you
hope that you both enjoyed the day and that all went well
Quote:
I know that I am in a better place now, I know that I am a better person than the one that existed before this date last year.


you bet
and you can take it to the bank that next year will be even better so long as you continue to choose the recovery path

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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 Post subject: Re: The long road ahead!
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:12 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 130
Thanks Kenzo.

I look back at the last 10 months and am proud of myself for making this change and leading a healthy lifestyle, my hope, over the coming months, is that I can begin to see some recovery in my W too

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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 Post subject: Re: The long road ahead!
PostPosted: Thu Sep 26, 2019 5:49 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 130
Lesson 33 summary review

Quote:
Overall my week was quite level – there were ups & downs of emotions depending on the circumstances.
I spent time everyday assessing my emotional state, although a couple of days did not make 5 times.
I would say that my current emotional level is balanced, but I know I do not have complete control over it.
I had some really nice times with W and with my grandchildren, but also some stressful thoughts about W and work.
I still have to think about the highs & lows and not get over excited about either, but I am beginning to see some mature thinking, I need to continue to work on that and keep a level head.


I wrote this on the 14th Jan this year.

Where am I today?

My weeks overall are very level and I still monitor my emotional state daily, I would say that I now have a lot of control over it.

The stress I feel about W has not changed much, but I am learning to cope with the "ups & downs".
For example: Yesterday I was out all day with work and I could tell she was stressed when I came home, there was also an atmosphere. The difference in me now is that I understand her thinking, even though I know that the last thing I am thinking of is acting out. So I try to calm her fears and understand that I caused the emotions she goes through.

I find that I enjoy my time with W, my kids, Grandchildren and family so much more, there is nothing sitting in the back of my mind now saying that I would rather be acting out.

Finally, I definitely think that I am maturing as each month passes.

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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 Post subject: Re: The long road ahead!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2019 2:54 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 130
Lesson 34) Obstacles to Emotional Maturity review

This review has come around at a very appropriate moment, this time last year my acting out went into overdrive and eventually led me to be caught by W. I had gone away on business for 4 nights and saw 2 prostitutes while I was away.
My emotional maturity was at an all time low, I was so blinkered, and only had thoughts of my darkside.
I had not forgotten that, and the thoughts of what I was doing last year had crossed my mind a lot recently, not in a negative manner but thinking about how far I had come.
In the back of mind was also the fact that as the year approached, W would also be having the same thoughts and so some anxiety has come into my life.

I had hoped that this next month could pass quietly and nothing would occur heighten the potential triggers W may have, but yesterday my boss called and I am now away for 2 days next week!

I feel stressed and anxious about it and can see it in W.
The positive side is I know I will not even think about acting out!
The negative is knowing how much it will be stressing W.

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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 Post subject: Re: The long road ahead!
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 2:14 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 130
Lesson 35) Health Monitoring II — Daily, Weekly - Review

Quote:
Specific Daily
“I will stop and think about my emotional balance, find areas that require attention and try and level my emotions if required”
Posted beside my laptop.

Weekly monitoring
1. Over the past seven days, from what areas of my life did I derive the majority of my meaning and fulfillment.
2. Over the past seven days, where did the majority of my energy go? As in, was there chronic stress/pressure I had to manage? Were
there any major traumatic events? Any intense emotional events?
3. Given the meaning that I derived this week and the events I had to manage — how well did I do in maintaining emotional balance
through healthy means? Were there times when my life management skills were inadequate and I ended up turning to artificial means
(e.g. compulsive behavior)?
4. Looking ahead to the next seven days, are there any significant events that I need to prepare for, so that I am not caught off guard?
Deadlines, reunions, holidays, dates, etc.
5. Was I attentive to my wife?
Did I check on her emotional state?
6. Was I completely honest with my wife ?
7. Did you have “date time” with your wife or plan an activity/date?
8. Did you organise or discuss any future events, holidays etc?
9. Did I spend time doing my leisure activities?
10. Did you check on any family members ?
11. I will improve my work ethic and give it more focus, did you succeed ?


Interestingly, I do not have a lot to say when reviewing this lesson because nothing has really changed.
I still try to monitor my emotional balance daily and my checklist is exactly the same, the only difference being I do it monthly now.

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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