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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2020 10:17 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
Hello, this is my first time posting on the thread. :g:


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2020 10:42 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 213
Welcome coolDudes,

I hope you find RN as helpful as it has been for me, you have a journey ahead of you, but there are people here to help.

If you have any questions outwith your own recovery thread, please use the Community Support Forum: Recovery

Good luck!

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2020 10:35 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
Lesson 1:


Actively committing yourself to change
Not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
Allowing yourself time to change

I am actively committing myself to change,some bad habits would be that I drift off into time wasting with netflix reality tv shows like the office and community, these shows are saturated with sexual content,so it's counter productive in my active commitment to change.
I need to not allow guilt and shame sabotage my commitment to change, my values need to override my mood. I need to lose this concept of powerlessness, I need to acknowledge the power of the mind. I’ve been sabotaging myself way too long, due to anxiety mixed with insecurity and low-self esteem because I was passive my whole life and let people talk to me in a manner that lacked respect, they didn't respect me,Now I'm different. Now lifes different,I am a changed person.I thank god for everything, I would be lost without him.
I need to allow myself time to change. In the past, I wouldnt give myself the time to recover.I was always in a rush to hit "x" amount of days.

B)
I want to be honest and transparent with my future wife
I want to live a wholesome and transparent life
I want to not have so much guilt and shame always
I want to have high self-esteem
I want to be a good muslim
I want to have a good relationship with god
I want to love myself more
I want to not be a slave to porn,masturbation and any inappropriate images/videos of woman,whether it be on insta ,youtube , across any platform
I want to be confident
I want a purposeful lifestyle and leave a mark on earth


C) A photo in 2003 ,I was an innocent 4 year old boy, who liked playing hide and seek with my siblings in the house,loved watching cartoons, loved playing outside in the snow,liked making snowmans and snow angels, had little to no problems and stress at all, I was really happy and grateful. I wasn't perfect, but that's ok,I didn't have to be perfect to enjoy life, I had my flaws.
Now I'm 21 and I am here to reclaim my life from being addicted to porn and masturbation(from any source ex: youtube and instagram) for 3 years. I want to develop a lifestyle that I am proud of ,of what I want and of what's healthy. I am here to reclaim my innocence , i've been through many emotional moments,cried a lot during these three years, now I got to stop moving like Im powerless over my life, I got to live the life I want now.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 11:16 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
Lesson 2:

Vision:

Being a servant of god wholeheartedly, having trust in god.(im muslim, so by prayin 5 times a day,and reading quran)
Being honest and transparent with myself and others
Staying healthy and active
Being knowledgeable,never waste a day without getting some work done
Dont rush things, take your time on everything whether it be eating a meal,school work and ETC
Focus on your passion, dedicate some time during each day for your passion
Love yourself,validate yourself


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2020 9:39 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
Lesson 3:

1)I will pray five times a day
2) I will read quran daily
3) I will stay away from music
4) I will listen to Islamic podcasts
5)I will be good to my little brother
6)commit 1-2hours on my passion a day atleast
7)Dedicate the beginning and end of my day to mental health
8)I will attempt to be present and talk to who i talking to wholeheartedly
9)speak truth always,speak truth to power
10)Live with integrity
11) living with compassion
12) Living with truth
13)living while smiling
14)spend time with family more
15)eat good food
16)exercise everyday
17)play basketball
18) play soccer
19) watch informative documentaries
20)being resilient
21)strong minded
22)being a quick decision maker
23)making sacrifices
24)Being playful
25)Being active/staying active
26)being dependable
27)being reliable
28)being humble
29)sense of responsibilty over ones life
30)feeling empowered
31)Being dedicated
32)being realistic
33)establishing my legacy on earth
34)feeling happy and content
35)Being a leader
36)improving my social interactions
37)be known as truthful
38)overcoming personal struggles
39)Being aware of my surroundings
40)Being respected/being respectful
41)walking the same path as equals
42)connected to my own feelings
43)experiencing uniqueness
44)standing up for yourself
45)comfortable in your own skin
46)forgiveness
47)masculinity
48)personal dependence
49)financial stability
50)charming and calm
51)Being wise


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 20, 2020 9:39 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
-praying god 5 times a day
-read quran daily
Lesson 4

-exercise daily
-Accept responsibility of living my life
-live with integrity
-work on side hustle
-live while smiling
-quick decision making
-being humble
-self-discipline
-feeling content
-Being a leader
-stand up for yourself
-being comfortable in my own skin
-accept my past is my past and was already decreed to happen,and move on
-forgive yourself and dont hold on to regrets


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2020 9:42 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
Lesson 5:
-praying god 5 times a day
-read quran daily
-exercise daily
-Accept responsibility of living my life
-live with integrity
-work on side hustle
-quick decision making
-being humble
-self-discipline
-feeling content
-being grateful
-Being a leader
-stand up for yourself
-being comfortable in my own skin
-accept my past is my past and was already decreed to happen,and move on
-forgive yourself and dont hold on to regrets


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2020 10:35 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
Lesson 6:

Feeling content

-make remembrance of god
-everyday is a blessing
-look to those below you in material gain.some people dont have the luxury to think about the future, there thinking about how to survive today
-Don’t let one thing overshadow all the blessings god has gave you



Being a leader

-If your friends are doing things that are not of your best interest leave
-Be yourself,your situation is unique
-Be a difference , inspire others, dont be so self-conceited
-Do things for the sake of god

Stand up for yourself

-get use to discomfort
-get used to voicing your opinion
- confront the person you need to confront, tell them how u feel, period.


Last edited by coolDude on Fri May 01, 2020 10:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2020 10:49 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
Lesson 7


Lower your gaze

-make prayers in the morning, to protect yourself from the evil of yourself and etc
-you have more control then you think
-go on social media everyday once in the evening
-remember god is always watching
-remember lives much easier if u were to lower your gaze, having control of your gaze is a blessing.


Being comfortable in my own skin

-Don’t try to appease others
-Always speak truth
-Go after what you want,not what others want
-take risks
-never can completely please people,but can please god.

Work on side hustle
-Dedicate a time slot of the day for it
-1 hour minimum per day on it
-on days you don't feel like doing it,just look at it,do one minute of work.

Pray five times a day
-Be productive during the day , don't try to binge watch tv shows,bc i find it easy to go and pray if i'm in the middle of meaningful work
- Get a habit of rushing to prayer earlier , pulling out the kitab and reading it while waiting for prayer
- read ur tafseer book often and ponder on ayats meanings, enjoy your prayer.

Exercise daily
-on a bad day , just do one pushup
-do this earlier in the day


Accept responsibility of living my life
-This to shall pass remember(through all the discomforting situations)
-life is better without it x10000, ask ourself why do people in your household living perfectly normal lives , doesn’t seem like there missing out

Live with integrity
-not submitting work you copied
Always telling the truth even if it goes against your best interest
-make dhikr constanty
-doing things for the sake of allah




Live while smiling
-be grateful
-acknowledge your blessings
-there's nothing wrong with choosing your happiness,deleted (insta bc it wasnt making me happy, made me anxious and depressed) ,trying to achieve your goal,trying to connect to god more , these things bring happiness and content.

Quick decision making
What’s better faith wise
What’s better academic wise
What’s better career wise
- a quick decision is the best decision
- Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

Being humble

-make remembrance of god
-have a thirst for knowledge and getting better,be hungry
-be grateful

Self-disicipline
-create a todo list
-follow it everyday
-your decisions is based on values not emotions(this will take you far in life)

Feeling content
-everyday is a blessing
-look to those below you in material gain.some people dont have the luxury to think about the future, there thinking about today
-Don’t let one thing overshadow all the blessings god has gave you


Being a leader

-If your friends are doing things that are not of your best interest leave
-Be yourself,your situation is unique
-Be a difference , inspire others, dont be so self-conceited
-Do things for the sake of Allah

Stand up for yourself
-get use to discomfort
-get used to voicing your opinion
-develop some type of selfishness to the extent that if you got to do this and the third on a day , demand time off.



self-validate
-ponder over the quran
-internal validation,doesn’t matter if others dont see the value in you
-you know yourself our worth a lot. (Zahir ibn hizam hadith)


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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2020 9:38 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
Lesson 10

IV. Make a list of all the places where you have items stashed for sexually compulsive behavior. List these items and their locations in your Recovery Thread. If you are uncomfortable sharing this in the forum, email or PM the list to a Coach.
(feel uncomfortable posting this)

V. Make a list of all the people that you use as compulsive sexual and/or romantic object. Post this in your thread.
-A girl with an amazing body, but not so much facewise from university that studys near me at the library.
-a girl at a soup kitchen I volunteer at, pretty sure she digs me too, might go for it
- a girl I knew from high school that goes to the same uni as me now , in the exact same program, been friends since grade 12,sat behind her in english class(she has a man now, but i found her quite attractive through the years)




VI. Make a list of all the places where you go to act out your sexually/romantically compulsive behavior. Post this list in your thread.
Example:
Internet,all social media,youtube ,specifically instagram but i dont got a acc no more so I cant access it for long, google chrome which leads me to pornhub and more commonly I search xvideos “” whatever I want , whatever i’m fantasizing in my head.


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PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2020 2:32 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
lesson 12:



12)

I. Identify those patterns that you currently recognize in yourself in relation to an unhealthy recovery. Post these observations into your Recovery Thread and/or Recovery Manager.


-doing things that don't coalign with your goals to distract yourself
-avoiding or delaying work, taking a long time doing menial tasks because when I approach work, it usually comes with a sense of uneasiness and discomfort in the first 10-15min.
this tends to happen in the afternoon,2-3pm or late at night when im tired.I make myself powerless(just go to bed)
-When confronted with having to change entertainment to going to sleep,workout,do work.I tend to always muster up the courage to change it,but its not in an instant
-comparing my life to others,I need to realize god made you this way,and don't let insecurities with a mixture of discomfort and anxiety affect your plan, just got to trust god and keep it movin.
-not being consistent in work,cant just do like 7 hours of work one day,then the next day youre lazy and watch netflix all day,need a balance or atleast do a minute of work,through the attempt of doing a minute of work, you usually end up doing more.
-fearing triggers
-life is not a beginning and end, its a process,lifes a process(i will never be perfect,have the perfect body with the best looks,but i can strive and dont be discouraged if it seems like its taking forever to get in shape,enjoy the process,im a work in process)
-Take it ease(big time tommy) dont go overboard,developing a hyper-recovery persona,do something thats manageable.

-lifes a struggle,its not meant to be all roses, if it was all roses, we would appreciate these times of bliss.


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PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2020 6:59 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
lesson 13

I. Identify those patterns that you currently recognize in yourself in relation to a healthy recovery. Post these observations into your Recovery Thread and/or Recovery Manager.

The motivation to recover comes from the desire to live a life that they can be proud of, rather than a desire to create the illusion of a life that they can be proud of.

Explanation: I want to live a transparent and healthy life.

2)They will take a long, hard look at anything associated with their destructive past, and will voluntarily make the decision to remove these objects from their life. This refers to pornography, internet accounts, etc. It does not necessarily refer to affairs where real feelings were experienced/exchanged.

(i gave up my insta acc for this, stop listening to music frequently for this(because the music i enjoy ,rap is saturated with profanity and sexual innuendos)


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PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2020 9:57 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
Lesson 14

Did I carry myself worthy of respect today?
Did I engage in self-destructive compulsive behaviours today?
Did you use self-deception today, (watching music videos to solely be sexually aroused, watching something that you're genuinely not interested in, you just want to distract your mind )
Did you meditate for at least 5 minutes today?
Did you exercise today ?
Did you tell any lies today, to others and to yourself?(white lies excluded)
Did I follow through on my to-do list for today?
DId i read the quran today?


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PostPosted: Sat May 23, 2020 10:02 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:55 pm
Posts: 27
Lesson 15:
Take a minute to review what you have learned over the past two weeks. Of what you have learned so far, think of one example of how you have actively integrated that information into your day-to-day life. Share this in your personal thread.

I learned to take triggers as an opportunity to showcase my managing triggers skiillls, instead of fear the moment, treat it like a game thats easy to win and you can have fun with it.

I learned earlier in the course that ignorance breeds hopelessness, you just need a perspective change, instead of thinking your a hopeless horrible individual, change it to think that your a person who has deficient skills in treating temptation.

Today I spotted an instance where I used self-deception(turned on phone,scroll through youtube) callously, I caught myself in the act of using self-deception.


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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2020 9:58 pm 
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I. Consider the POSITIVE role that addiction has played in your life. What purposes has it served (think short-term, not long)?

Understanding the functional role of your addiction is important in removing the power, mystery and fear from that addiction — to begin seeing it in terms of practicality, rather than as some kind of supernatural fate or disease that you are doomed to suffer.

Share a few positive aspects of your addiction in your recovery thread

-Whenever I am in a state of discomfort , i use it for comfort

-whenever i am stressed out,bored , or need to do something productive but i cant get this sexual thought out of my mind, i use pornagraphy and masturbate.

-i use it when i am insecure and don't fell good about myself, you got a harem of videos of girls online doing sexual things, and u feel in control.

all of these or short term gains, the discomfort ,stress and i will feel even more insecure in totality


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