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 Post subject: Building My True Self
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:37 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 10:52 am
Posts: 66
Lesson 1 Exercise

The person I want to be is completely different from who I am right now, whilst at the same time carrying shades of who I present to various parts of the world I play a part in. This new person is the same person no matter what room he is in; they know what they believe in and they take that with them wherever they are. Others may get to know this person and know what they stand for. This person is vulnerable and yet unbreakable- he knows that he can freely open himself up to the world for examination and take whatever it throws at him without being crushed, without letting the poison set in.

This new me has core values that make up who I am, built up from who and what I represent and what I want from life. This new me is in touch with these values on a 24/7 basis and gives power to them. He can repel the tests that others may throw at him, leap over the barricades and swim through the challenges that are put in his way to stop him from reaching his destination. He strongly believes in these values, as they make up who he is and without them he is nothing, he can represent nothing and he will forever be a formless chameleon that shifts from place to place- no one quite knowing who he is.

What are these values though that he thinks so highly of? The first main value is the value of himself, the rule of 1. This value speaks to the love and respect he has for himself- he knows what he likes and dislikes. He knows his standards and although he can’t expect others to live up to them, he can expect himself to hold true to these virtues. He knows that he is no better and yet no worse than anyone else. He has made mistakes in the past and he lives with them, he sees no reason why he can’t express himself the way he wants to. He loves himself to the point where he understands that he isn’t perfect. He has made his peace with that and realises he can never expect to be perfect in this system and so puts himself out there even despite the risk of making more mistakes. This creates his vulnerability, that will attract true friends and maybe even create true enemies. He knows he can’t be liked by everyone and never changes himself to try and be so. He realises that people can’t understand who he is without communicating to them his needs and desires. He has set lines representing his values and is always aware when they are being treaded on by either himself and others. He will verbalise when this line has been crossed; he doesn’t let posion well up within him, he will either take direct action or realise that inaction may be the best course and let it go.

His 2nd core value which is infinitely bound with the 1st is his love for God. He values what God values and will not compromise these values for anything. He knows what God loves and hates and makes it his personal goal to live up to these standards. He builds his conscience with these perfect standards and listens to it intently. He is in touch with both sides of himself- the imperfect man and the lawgiver, his conscience, who will always be straight with him and helps him to disregard the unclean desires of this faulted man. He wants to be the best representative of God that he can possibly be. When people see him they know that he isn’t perfect, but at the same time they see someone who enjoys life whilst still living a moral life. They know that he stands for his God.

These values make up who he is and he strives to live by them day in and day out. They give him focus, they give him direction and although it may not be easy to live by them each day, he goes to bed each night comfortable in the knowledge he stood for something. They give him purpose and bring him joy to live by.

This future version of myself emanates peace and joy- other people can feel it and it attracts them to him. He knows how to be true to himself and have fun with it. He lets other people make up their minds about him rather than try to influence them. He puts himself out there and lets others make the final call, but he can be happy knowing that they accepted him or rejected him based on the real him and not the chameleon.

He is confident enough to speak to anyone, he doesn’t judge anyone- he goes into conversations with a free mind and makes them feel comfortable. He allows people to feel like they can express their true selves to him without judgement.

He is an accomplished preacher and teacher. He asks thought-provoking questions, interesting questions that he himself would ponder over, questions that make people stop and consider, questions that matter to them. He does his best for the congregation- he bonds people together, he is the glue within the congregation and brings others into the faith. He realises the importance of this work in saving lives and puts the correct urgency to it that reflects the respect he has for this work.

His whole life isn’t just focused on work, coming home, resting, eating, going to sleep and then getting up for work again the next day. He has a life outside of work, a life that he is passionate about. Hobbies that he loves and brings out the best in him, they reflect who he is and is something he knows inside and out.

He has direction in his work life though, he doesn't go into work purely to make money. He knows where he s going with his work and uses/sees his current situation as an avenue to get to where he wants to be. He treats every day as a stepping stone on that path. He tries to add value where he can and puts his full effort into the job. He works hard and walks away each day knowing that he did his best. He is not just another employee number, he will be remembered.

He is in complete control of his emotions and feelings, he realises he won’t always be feeling 100% and gives himself the space and time to live with negative emotions. He knows how to handle them in a healthy manner, how to let them out and not damage his world. He treats his body as a sacred temple. He doesn’t let uncleanness enter it through the eyes, heart or mind. In the same way he can live with his thoughts- he doesn’t let them fester and seep out into his world. He is the one in control.

He has a well cut body, with a chiselled frame and defined muscles. He is in great physical condition and feels full of energy. He looks after himself, making sure he is well hydrated, well-fed and well-groomed. He is a beautiful human being.

I aim to be honest. I will be honest with myself and with others, I will not bend the truth or make excuses. I will be honest with others and not try to influence their views of myself.

I aim to forgive, both myself and others. I forgive myself for the mistakes of the past, I let them go. I forgive the mistakes made by others towards me, just as I would hope to be forgiven.

I aim to show love. I will try and love my neighbour, I will not judge others and I will try look for the good in everyone and everything.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 7:05 am 
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Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3844
Location: UK
Hello Gibbon

Quote:
The person I want to be is completely different from who I am right now


:g: :g: :g:
however IMO your vision tends to lean towards being idealistic

Those with an idealistic vision will list many of their top values as abstract concepts such as 'integrity', 'honor', 'respect'. These are indeed values--and important ones. But if this is all their vision consists of, it will be very difficult for them to gain practical clarity in pushing their lives forward.
it is right to aim to be the best person that you can be but be aware of setting yourself up to fail, this can then induce guilt which can influence the urge to act out
just a thought , as always take it on board or trash it

so welcome to RN
if you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination


remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2017 4:50 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 10:52 am
Posts: 66
Kenzo wrote:
Hello Gibbon

Quote:
The person I want to be is completely different from who I am right now


:g: :g: :g:
however IMO your vision tends to lean towards being idealistic

Those with an idealistic vision will list many of their top values as abstract concepts such as 'integrity', 'honor', 'respect'. These are indeed values--and important ones. But if this is all their vision consists of, it will be very difficult for them to gain practical clarity in pushing their lives forward.
it is right to aim to be the best person that you can be but be aware of setting yourself up to fail, this can then induce guilt which can influence the urge to act out
just a thought , as always take it on board or trash it

so welcome to RN

if you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination


remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best


Thanks for the feedback Kenzo, this is fairly idealistic, but I feel like this is the image of myself that I want to craft. I'd appreciate an example of what you'd describe as more of a realistic rather than idealistic goal tho?

I've done a few of these lessons now (which I will post), and I think I become more realistic with my goals as I progress, but hopefully someone can point out to me anything I'm doing wrong :)


Last edited by RenaissanceGibbon on Tue Nov 28, 2017 4:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2017 4:55 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 10:52 am
Posts: 66
Being true to myself
Allowing other people to get to know the real me
Representing my values
Living a life that people can see as synonymous with who I am
Being able to open up to others and to be vulnerable
Be emotionally stable
Be mentally stable
Be physically stable
NOt feeling the need to hide myself from the world
Having pride in who I am
Knowing what I want from life and taking it
Knowing who I am/ having identity
Having perseverance
Finishing tasks that have been started
Mastering skills/hobbies
Being sturdy, always being the same person
Standing up for what I believe in
Voicing my opinions
Having love for myself
Having respect for myself
Knowing what I like and dislike
Having standards and not compromising on them
Not measuring myself up to others
Not judging others and comparing them to myself
Expressing myself
Forgiving myself
Forgiving others
Doing the best I can, not trying to be perfect
Understanding that imperfection can lead to bumps in the road
Not trying to be liked by everyone
Allowing others to make their minds up on the real me
Not trying to influence people’s opinions on myself by changing behaviour
Communicating needs
Having strict values/boundaries
Communicating when these boundaries have been crossed
Taking action when displeased
Being able to let go of problems
Acceptance of situations
Not bottling things up inside/able to let things out in e healthy manner
Having love for God
Appreciating God
Knowing and understanding God’s values
Living up to God’s standards
Imitating God’s personality
Living synonymously with God’s standards
Listening to my conscience
Strengthening my conscience
Being clean morally
Living one life, not a double one
Accepting my imperfection
Trying the best I can
Being able to enjoy life
Having focus
Having a purpose
Having joy in living with direction and meaning
Bringing joy to others
Showing love to others
Being able to connect with people
Able to make people feel comfortable and at ease
Living life with urgency
Having respect for life
Respecting my own life and making good use out of it
Being honest
Teaching others
Making use of my skills
Sacrificing time for others
Having a life I am passionate about
Having a life that brings out the best in me
Adding value to the work I do
Treating every day as valuable and useful
Keeping mind and body clean
Having self control
Having friends I can rely on
Having friends that bring out the best in me
Being in great physical condition
Making good use of my intelligence
Taking care of my grooming
Developing intellectually
Being knowledgeable
Developing wisdom
Being caring towards others
Being compassionate
Being friendly and approachable
Dependable
Having respect
Being able to express my spirituality
Being able to express my sexuality
Being fun and playful
Being a good listener
Being attentive and observant of the needs of others
Having integrity
Embracing and sharing my sense of humour
Expressing my creative side
Ability to take risks
Feeling masculine
Bring out the best in others
Being humble
Feeling strong
Taking responsibility

The Dark Side

Values or lack of values that defined my addiction:

Selfishness
Lack of respect for myself
Lack of respect for others
Dishonesty
Being false to myself
Being false to others
Laziness
Weakness
Living life with no urgency
Forgetting my purpose
Forgetting the meaning of life
Betraying my God
No respect for life
Having no standards
Being unreliable
Being useless
Not connecting with others
Secluding myself from others
Wasting my time


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 10:37 am 
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Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3844
Location: UK
Hi

Quote:
I'd appreciate an example of what you'd describe as more of a realistic rather than idealistic goal


perhaps try giving the link below a read
nothing to lose
http://www.recoverynation.com/partnersb ... 13&t=18746

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:07 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 10:52 am
Posts: 66
Lesson 4

Being true to myself
Having love for myself
Appreciating God
Knowing what I want from life and taking it
Living synonymously with God’s standards
Being able to enjoy life
Bringing joy to others
Being honest
Having a life that I am passionate about
Having self control
Developing wisdom
Having a purpose
Having focus
Accepting my imperfection
Trying my best
Having strict values/boundaries
Forgiving myself
Mastering skills/hobbies
Being clean morally
Having friends I can rely on
Being able to express my sexuality


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:14 pm 
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Posts: 66
Lesson 5

1. Being true to myself- this is my main goal, as I feel like I often hide what I am, my principles, my sense of humour- things that comprise what makes me. I often feel frustrated when I go away from a situation knowing I wasn’t true to myself or what I wanted.
2. Having love for myself- this is important, because I often don’t do what I want to do or say what I want to say, because I am not showing proper love for myself. I might even compromise my values or go too far out of my way for someone at the expense of myself. I want to put myself first for once in my life.
3. Appreciating God- I owe God so much and I often don’t fully appreciate this until I need something. I want to appreciate God every second of the day and actually show this appreciation through my actions
4. Knowing what I want from life and taking it- this involves being in touch with my inner self and knowing what I truly need in life. I will have the desire and strength to take advantages of opportunities and make things happen
5. Living synonymously with God’s standards- this links to point 4 in that I want to live a moral life. I know God’s standards are for the best and I will be blessed in following His directions
6. Being able to enjoy life- I want to let my sense of humour out, I want to be able to have fun again like I used to when I was younger. I don’t want to feel constrained by the views of society or other people’s judgements.
7. Bringing joy to others- I want to be able to make other people laugh, I used to be good at cheering other people up and putting a smile on people’s faces. It had the 2 way effect of putting a smile on my face too. I want to experience this feeling again.
8. Having a life that I am passionate about- I want to know what I like and take part in hobbies/activities that reflect who I am. I want these activities to bring out the best in me and be something I can be excited about.
9. Being honest- my addiction has fed on my dishonest and exacerbated it for many years, as I’ve found myself making excuses for why I won’t do certain things and what I’m really doing. I’ve felt like I’ve had to hide the sexual part of myself away behind this veneer of a good, clean boy. I want to be honest about who I am and what I want.
10. Having self-control - I want to display self control on a daily basis, I no longer want to have that feeling that I am powerless, that someone else is steering the ship. I want to handle problems in a manly and mature fashion and I want to be able to bve in control of my thoughts and emotions


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 8:04 am 
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Posts: 66
Lesson 6

Appreciating God
Pray daily
Bible reading each night
Stick to study plan: Monday, Wednesday & Friday
Accept that you may feel days when nothing is sinking in

Having a life I am passionate about
Spend 5hrs a week on FL Studio
Don’t worry if you can’t create anything
Do 1 activity a week that you deep down want to do
Accept that it may be awkward
Don’t beat yourself up over mistakes made
Build an art portfolio of your life through media


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2017 6:57 am 
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Posts: 66
Lesson 7

Being true to myself
-If you have a thought you want to say, express it within 3 seconds
-Don’t beat yourself up for saying the wrong thing, who is going to remember anything awkward you say?
-Be more social, make an effort to start at least 1 conversation a day
-Don’t fear rejection, if you want to attain anything, it cannot be avoided
-Complete daily social challenge and keep improving your social skills
Having love for myself
-Expressing my needs
-Realising it may feel uncomfortable at first
-Understand that I have as much right as anyone to have my needs met
-Do 1 activity a week that you really want to do
-Realise that you don’t always have to do what someone else wants you to
-Take care of myself, get 8hrs sleep 4 times a week minimum
Knowing what I want from life and taking it
-Build and stick to schedule of life goals
-Accept that it may not be possible to complete all activities each week
-Getting to know what you really want
-Not settling for less
-Having a plan for what you want to achieve in life
Living synonymously with God’s standards
-Always be honest, even if it ends badly for you
-Go out on the ministry at least once a week
Being able to enjoy life
-Do 1 activity a week that you really want to do
-Realise that others may try to get in the way of this
-Say yes to invitations, knowing that you may not always feel like it
-Just try to have fun and get to know people
Bringing joy to others
-Be loving to all
-Don’t judge others based on their actions
-Realise that you can’t live up to other’s standards just as they can’t live up tp yours
-Do 1 good thing for someone each day
-Realise that you might not always feel like doing so, but you will feel better afterwards
Having self control
-Meditate daily
-Pray for self control
-Be in touch with emotions and thoughts
-Realise that you don’t have to act out on such emotions and thoughts
Forgiving myself
-Learn to forgive myself for past mistakes
-Take everything in stride, realise it’s a learning process
-Spend a moment each day appreciating the steps you are making to move forward


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:12 am 
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Lesson 10

V. People I romantically fantasise about:
Girl sat behind me at work, I check her out from behind when she gets up
2 other girls at work I always check out their legs when they walk by
A girl on my contacts who used to like me, I always check for when she updates her profile pic

VI. Places I go to act out:
Facebook, I will scroll through friends pics
Youtube, I will randomly browse videos that might lead to me ‘stumbling’ on a provocative video
In my bed, I will close the door and search for dangerous images until I am triggered enough to act out
On my phone, I will surf the internet looking for anything that might trigger me if I’m in the mood, binge on porn
On my computer, wasting time and clicking on anything that might set me off
Netflix, staring at actresses bodies


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 12:39 pm 
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Lesson 12: Behavioural Patterns

Patterns I have exhibited in past reboots:
Jumping from addiction to addiction: In my past reboot I managed to abstain for over 100 days, but I was overly reliant on one girl. If things were going well between us, I was almost on a high and I was able to function and deal with stress by thinking/fantasising about this girl. When the relationship broke down I no longer had any motivation to continue with my reboot.
I believe that my impulses/urges are experienced in a far harsher level than most ‘normal people’, making it extremely difficult to say no to myself when the urges hit me. I will often believe it’s a foregone conclusion when the urges are heavy or when I stumble over a trigger.
I tend to link the amount of days I have been free from porn with the confidence I have in myself- I will only agree to certain activities if they match my perceived confidence level in a certain amount of days. This can sometimes lead to disappointment in myself when I am not where I thought I would be in my reboot. It also leads to frequent ‘flaky’ behaviour when I feel forced to cancel plans after a relapse has led to a setback in my number of days.
I have a fear of relapse triggers which means I won’t watch certain videos/TV programmes until I have reached an amount of days where I think the triggers will have limited effect. It also stops me from partaking in certain activities that may be triggering to me i.e. going out drinking or chatting up girls.
I have often focussed on controlling my past behaviour, avoiding triggers and simply abstaining until a point where I am stable enough to focus on other areas of my life. This is partly because every time I relapse I lose motivation to complete my other goals, especially my social goals.
Relapses have led to very dark periods of my life consisting of self-loathing, anger at my powerlessness and even extremely mild emotions of utter defeat where I manage to drag myself through life, just accepting that relapse is a part of my future.
I always hyper-analyse my thoughts and emotions, judging what I’ve said or done and what other people might be thinking of me.
I believe I will always be an addict at heart and have accepted that I may not be ever able to do some activities like a ‘normal person’.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 6:25 pm 
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Location: UK
Hello Trueself
Quote:
I believe I will always be an addict at heart and have accepted that I may not be ever able to do some activities like a ‘normal person’.


this statement raises concerns
IMO it could so easily transcend into an excuse to give up
please dont let it

I know how easy it is for we addicts to deny
please dont let this happen
believe me when I say that you can and should choose to recover
get and keep the correct mindset and its yours for the keeping
good luck and merry Christmas

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2017 1:27 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 10:52 am
Posts: 66
Kenzo wrote:
Hello Trueself
Quote:
I believe I will always be an addict at heart and have accepted that I may not be ever able to do some activities like a ‘normal person’.


this statement raises concerns
IMO it could so easily transcend into an excuse to give up
please dont let it

I know how easy it is for we addicts to deny
please dont let this happen
believe me when I say that you can and should choose to recover
get and keep the correct mindset and its yours for the keeping
good luck and merry Christmas


Hi Kenzo, I probably made that statement sound more negative than it is, I am just trying to be real with myself that even when I am fully recovered,
there won't be a time when I can do something fairly innocent like scrolling thru a girl's pictures on Instagram for example


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 8:41 am 
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I recently had a large relapse which led to a 2 day bender of pure binging on porn and masturbation. Before I relapsed I tried to call on my values, but I couldn't remember what they all were, and the ones I could remember just didn't seem to matter at that time. I feel like my values were in fact too vague, so I've tried to change them to be something a bit more tangible.

There were warning signs for a while that my recovery was stalling a bit, I had neglected many parts of my self improvement schedule which had been helping me to stay focussed. I became lazier and was more interested in recreation and relaxation than working hard. I still managed to do the activities fairly regularly, but I was less bothered when I missed a gym session or failed to study, I was also not updating my schedule as regularly. I had begun to compare my life to others a lot which caused me to lose my long term vision and instead mope about what was going wrong right now and why my life isn't like there's.

Below is my new adapted vision:

Things I want to Say I Accomplished

Became socially confident
Became strong
Get my music on Youtube
Bring someone to the meetings/ do my best for God

Excuses I might Use:

I don’t have time, I don’t know how to do it, It’s too scary
I don’t have time to diet properly/ If I go to the gym I won’t have much time for relaxation
It’s too difficult, I’ll never get that good
I try, but I always end up failing, I’m too far gone, God doesn’t need me

Combat These Thoughts

Make time, even just a little something each day, keep researching and make it up as you go along, it’ll be worth it in the end
It doesn’t take that long to buy some food, you will enjoy relaxation 10 times more after you’ve earned it
Everybody started from somewhere, you can learn anything with practice
God loves each and every one of us, Paul put Christians to death and God still sought him out

I want to be able to say that I did my best and I have no regrets. I stood up for something greater than myself. I didn’t let excuses hold me back and I made the best use of my time. I had a good circle of friends, ones that I could trust and who stood by me. I touched people’s lives, I feel like I left them in a better place and made a lasting impression. I did what I set out to do. I made music, published a comic book, visited the cities I wanted to see. I didn’t let the thoughts of others hold me back from accomplishing what i wanted to.
My dream life would be to live in America in a skyline apartment. I would have a good group of friends I could hang out with and go to bars together or just happily hang out in my apartment, playing games and laughing. They would be friends I could spend all night chatting with. I would have a loving wife who wanted me as much as I wanted her. However, we both added to each other’s lives rather than taking from each other. She would be someone I naturally was attracted to. I would be in a state where I have control over my emotions, they don’t rule me and I don’t let rash impulsions like lust or loneliness force me into bad decisions. I am no longer haunted by my thoughts, I don’t let the past bother me and I don’t try to run from these thoughts. I know what I like and dislike and have varied hobbies which I am passionate about. I can spend long hours making music, I play basketball every Saturday and go to watch NBA games. I have become passionate about art and can enjoy many peaceful hours drawing whatever comes to my mind. I am at peace when I am by myself, I no longer compare my life to others and am happy in my own company. I do my best to help others and people often come to me for advice. I have responsibilities in the congregation and I have a clean conscience. I have become a very calming person both inside and out- I am able to converse with anyone and make them feel at ease. People feel like they can open up to me free of judgement when they converse with me. I’m always myself and I let others make up their mind about me rather than trying to influence their opinion of myself by altering my behaviour. I am reliable and trustworthy. I make people laugh with my clever wit and I’m not afraid to look silly.

Why do I want to live in America?
Feeling of freedom, feels fresh, not feeling constrained by size, more opportunities
Why are my friends so important?
The feeling of brotherhood, that I can share my burden with others, that people want to be around me
Why do I have a wife?
I’ve found a balance in my life, I have become my own person and can now share that person with someone else, feeling of achievement? Able to express my sexuality in a healthy manner
Why is control over my emotions so important?
Being able to have the feeling that i am in control, that I am no longer ‘forced’ to do things, being at one with myself, finding inner peace
Why is art and music a part of your life?
Feel at peace whilst drawing, having that sense of accomplishment from producing music/art, other people being able to appreciate y works
Why do I want responsibility?
That feeling like I’m giving back to God, that I am useful, that I am finally able to give back to others
Why is reliability important?
Feeling balance, feeling order in my life

List of Values:

Steadfast- this will be my key value. This describes someone who is resolute in their decisions, they aren’t wishy washy and they don’t change with the wind. They know what they want and they set a course of action that will get them there. They are strong of character and don’t let external forces push them off course. They are reliable and sturdy like a rock.

Integrity- I have strong values and a conscience which I allow to guide me. I don’t compromise my values, they are firm in me.

Reliable- I work in order and am no longer governed by the chaos caused by being ruled by the whims of my addiction.

Humility- I hold myself to high standard, but at the same time I accept my limitations, I will understand that I am not perfect
Forgiveness- I forgive myself of my past failings and no longer dwell on them, instead I will look forward

Acceptance- I accept that this is a long process, I accept my shortcomings and my current situation

Commitment- I work with what I have and don’t let excuses hold me back, I stick to my course of action

Honesty- I am true to what I want, I am truthful with others, I don’t use deceit and I aim to live an honest life

Faith- I believe in my God and know he will get me through this, at the same time I put in earnest effort to show my love for God


Last edited by RenaissanceGibbon on Sat Sep 29, 2018 10:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 11:15 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3844
Location: UK
Hello
Quote:
I recently had a large relapse which led to a 2 day bender of pure binging on porn and masturbation. Before I relapsed I tried to call on my values, but I couldn't remember what they all were, and the ones I could remember just didn't seem to matter at that time.


you now need to learn from this experience
analyse how you felt before during and after this event
how you feel now

dont be too hard on yourself but dont simply brush it off either
learn from your mistakes and ensure that they are not repeated

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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