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 Post subject: iamz recovery thread
PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2020 4:18 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2018 6:21 am
Posts: 13
Hello,

Here is my recovery thread! :)

Lesson 1 for exercises

Active / passive recovery

I notice that many times I was in a passive recovery, thinking that going through recovery material and holding some abstinence with willpower meant recovery.
I also was surely very emotional and using emotions to kickstart recovery, and coming back to it the addition, after a few days.
I now realize that I have to go fully and do everything in my power to change permanently.
No half effort!

Guilt and shame

Guilt and shame were always very strong and while they still have some power over me, I see that they’re an obstacle to moving forward. I see that the courage needed to change my life and remove any addictive patterns is also the courage needed to overcome guilt, shame and to accept. I accept that I did what I did, that I am now where I am and that I take responsibility in it. I’m not lying to myself and erasing my past, I look at it in the eyes and I move forward, working hard and changing my life for the best.

Time

I know it will take time, but I am not in a rush, because I want to build a solid foundation. I also recognize that like anything extraordinary in life, it is more about the process than about punctual events. It is the sustained commitment, effort to change that will do it (not "the waiting and holding my addictive breath").

Reasons

I want to

keep my sexual energy

turn my sexual energy into its best use

be the best man, father, husband, friend I can be by my own book
face, go through, overcome and master my body, mind and emotions

be immune from the usual sex as a manipulative tool

be free from sex as a waste of time, energy and potential

have all energy for transformation and transcendence

free myself from the sex as a consumption tool, as a coping mechanism, as an escape

be genuinely strong and stable, mentally and physically

live the life of my dreams, fulfilling my potential, being healthy, and in harmony with the world

be flexible, to adapt to an ever changing world

increase my awareness in all way possible

control myself completely

be free in all way possible (mentally, physically, emotionally, financially)

enjoy the process of life, growing, constantly learning and improving, but also knowing that everything is as it is, that there is nothing to do, nowhere to go, that it is a game to be played

feel and channel the flow of energy and life

Picture exercise

I find it hard to imagine that I went through difficulties, trauma or else. I seem to want to ignore this aspects and to forget about them (coping mechanism maybe?).

I feel disconnected from this child a bit, I can relate to the innocence of my own children, who are young, but this child on the picture seems and feels a bit like "not me", someone else.

I don’t know exactly how to connect emotionally to him, except mentally by imagining that it is (was) me and that there is a continuity there.


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 Post subject: Re: iamz recovery thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2020 5:18 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 4019
Location: UK
Hello Iamz


welcome to a proven well trodden path for recovery

Quote:
I notice that many times I was in a passive recovery,
No half effort!


Recovery cannot ever be half hearted
either you want it or you dont
if you dont then addiction will consume you

BUT if you really do want to improve your life and remove those self inflicted shackles of addiction and to recover from your emotion driven compulsive behaviours then you are at a good place to make that a reality, RN can show you the way
To achieve recovery then commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand, this community is supportive to those who demonstrate sincerity in their journey
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path, you have not been abandoned

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone, many have taken the path successfully, your actions are yours but you are not the first and unfortunately will not be the last
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting , reading, evaluating and putting into practice what you have learned, be open be honest, nobody here will judge you
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination





lets get committed totally committed and look forwards to being that better man
remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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 Post subject: Re: iamz recovery thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 29, 2020 7:23 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 4019
Location: UK
Hello Iamz

I wrote and now repeat
Recovery cannot ever be half hearted
either you want it or you dont
if you dont then addiction will consume you

sorry to say but the indicators show no commitment to yourself?
please prove me wrong
what do you have to lose?
SFA
compare that to the benefits of actually having a life
choose wisely

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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