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PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2020 4:16 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:04 pm
Posts: 2
A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:

1) Actively committing yourself to change - The deepest desire of my heart at this moment is to be free from the chains of pornography addiction. Not for other people or because I have hit rock bottom (I've hit rock bottom a thousand times), but because I want to change. The path I have walked for the past decade goes against every value and belief I hold dear. I am taking back the reins of my life and changing course. I commit to walk the path of recovery and healthy living. I am afraid and anxious about it but I will continue to follow this new path. I'm ready to be the man I have always envisioned myself to be.

2) Not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change - I have consistently allowed shame and guilt to sabotage my recovery. I have carried my shame and guilt for so long I have become numb to it. It feels like my moral compass has been shattered into a million pieces. I'm afraid it will once again sabotage my recovery. I don't really know how to lay down my guilt and shame. I have strangely become used to carrying it around and am afraid to let it go. Aren't I supposed to feel guilt and shame for the wrong I have committed?

3) Allowing yourself time to change - I am an impatient man and struggle with giving myself enough time. I want recovery to come in an instant and if it doesn't, I have failed. This is irrational because sustained recovery takes hard work and time. I will have to develop patience to successfully develop a healthy lifestyle. If I am honest, learning patience will be incredibly difficult for me and at times even painful.

B. 15 Reasons I Seek Permanent Change

1. I want to be the same in public as in private
2. I want to be a devoted and faithful Christian
3. I want to be part of healthy relationships
4. I want to have my values match my behavior
5. I want to be productive and not be sidetracked by porn
6. I want to be respectful of women
7. I want to be honest
8. I want my sense of freedom back
9. I want to respect myself again
10. I want to be a role model to my nephew
11. I want to have integrity
12. I want peace of mind
13. I want to be like Jesus Christ
14. I want to be ethical
15. I want to be able to experience real love

C. Picture Exercise

It was difficult and awkward looking at a picture of myself as a child. My eyes used to twinkle and my face used to radiate joy. I was filled with innocence and excited by everything. It feels like this child died a long time ago and all that is left is a cynical and jaded 23-year-old. I long to


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2020 5:47 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 4020
Location: UK
Hi Warrior
Quote:
I want to change


and you will

the direction of change is your choice and enroling here is a positive start in making that choice

so welcome to a proven well trodden path for recovery
if you really do want to improve your life and remove those self inflicted shackles of addiction and to recover from your emotion driven compulsive behaviours then you are at a good place to make that a reality, RN can show you the way
To achieve recovery then commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand, this community is supportive to those who demonstrate sincerity in their journey
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path, you have not been abandoned

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone, many have taken the path successfully, your actions are yours but you are not the first and unfortunately will not be the last
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting , reading, evaluating and putting into practice what you have learned, be open be honest, nobody here will judge you
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination



lets get committed totally committed and look forwards to being that better man
remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

please do not disappoint yourself

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 29, 2020 7:30 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 4020
Location: UK
Hello warrior

I want to change is what you said
you called yourself warrior but where is the fighter in you
you can achieve your aims but sitting back and doing nothing is not the way to do it
what do you have to lose?

I told you previously that change is inevitable
addiction will consume you unless you kill it
addiction is no friend
so please do choose and choose sooner rather than later

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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 Post subject: Lesson 2
PostPosted: Sun Sep 06, 2020 7:48 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:04 pm
Posts: 2
The vision I have for my life is threefold: be a devoted Christian and Godly man; help others in whatever capacity; and building deep friendships with others. As a devoted Christian, I will take time to pray and study scripture. I will apply the ethical teachings of Jesus to my life and pursue knowledge that deepens my relationship with God. I will be a Godly role model to the people around me. When others look at me, I want them to see God's love made manifest. I will strive to help others in big and small ways. I will find practical ways of helping others like donating to charity and finding volunteer opportunities. The career I end up pursuing will be focused on serving others in some form. Anyone who needs help I will help without judgment or the expectation of getting something in return. I will help others because it is the right thing to do. Yet, I will remember that I don't have to carry the weight of the entire world's problems. I will help in the small area of the world I have been placed. I will actively build deep friendships with others. I will devote specific times to meeting with friends and pursue deeper conversations instead of shallow small talk. I will allow myself to be vulnerable with other people even if there is a risk of rejection. Striving to be open with my friends, I will be transparent about my physical disability, depression, and anxiety. I will not obsess over entering into a romantic relationship but focus on building friendships. I will be open to a romantic relationship developing but it will not be an active pursuit.


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