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PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2020 9:43 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2020 9:48 pm
Posts: 2
Lesson 1

A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change:
1. Am I actively committing myself to change?
While taking Lesson 1, it felt like I was not at the “I want to change” phase but it felt like I was at the “I have to change” phase:
• I’m barely afloat in my academics
• I don’t like my social life
• I’m lazy
But after taking Lesson 2 and writing my vision, I think I’m at the “I want to change” phase. I want to change my life around and don’t want to live with the secrets anymore. My addiction isn’t the cause of my laziness, social anxiety; It’s merely a symptom of my unhealthy life management skills which I am ready to change.

2. Not allowing guilt/shame sabotage my commitment to change?
I’m ashamed of some of my past behaviors but it isn’t a barrier to my change. I’m ready to change, put in the work to try to right the wrongs of my past.

3. Allowing myself time to change?
I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of time “recovering” and would like it to be over soon. I didn’t want to start the program cuz I didn’t want it to be another mark in the cycle but I knew I had to do it. I have been abstinent for about a month now but my guard is constantly up and I know going back is still very easy but I mustn’t go back to the ways of yore. I understand that this is a process that takes time and I’m ready to devote time to it.

B. Reasons Why I seek to Permanently Change My Life
• I want to live without secrets
• I want to live a shame free life
• I want to be more social
• I want to build meaningful relationships
• I want to be more committed to my personal development
• I want to make an impact in my society
• I want to be financially independent
• I want the feeling of emptiness to stop
• I want to live a more purposeful life
• I want to help my brother off the same path that led me here
• I want to wake up each day with a pep in my step; not “thinking just another day”
• I want to go back to sleep feeling like the whole day was not a waste and be able to list my accomplishments
• I want to get back to God and live in his light
• I want to stop objectifying people around me and comparing myself to them

C. Picture Exercise
I couldn’t connect with myself in the picture at the end of lesson 1. I proceeded unto lesson 2 and after writing my vision; I looked back on what the boy in the picture would have thought about what I wrote. I took the picture and cried for the innocence lost, the constant feeling of inadequacy he would unconsciously pick up along the way, trying to measure up to others and I knew I had to break free and get back to that state of innocence; of enjoying life rather than just going through it.

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Thresh


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2020 9:54 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2020 9:48 pm
Posts: 2
Lesson 2 – My Vision
A song came to my mind when writing this – “I want to break free by Queen”

For myself: I want to be able to look back upon my addiction as a rough patch in my life. I want to stop thinking about sex all the time. I want to stop objectifying ladies around me. I want to live a purposeful life. I want to stop feeling like time is passing me by and I’m stuck in the same position. I want to go back to bed not feeling like another day had gone wasted. I want to improve on my skills. I want to be financially independent. I want to work on myself esteem and stop measuring myself up to others. I want to have an impact on my society around me. I want to be able to enjoy my accomplishments. I want to reconnect with God.

For my family: I want to be able to provide for my parents, to be able to pay them back for all they done for me. I recently discovered my brother was going down this path. I found some porn videos on his phone. I was initially afraid that he had caught me watching at some point and that piqued his interest. I then asked him how he got into it and I was relieved he said it was from some friends at school because finding out I led him into it would have been devastating to me. I want to be able to effectively guide him off this path before it’s too late.

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Thresh


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2020 1:18 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 264
Welcome to RN Thresh2541,

It is a tried and tested path to recovery and will hopefully lead you to a healthy lifestyle.
There are a lot of lessons in the workshop and we recommend you aim to complete about 3 per week, but also take time to read all the literature on here and posted by others.
The coaches and mentors are here to help and give advice, they make make comments on your thread, but if you are struggling do not hesitate to ask a question.

Good luck!

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“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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