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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 1:55 pm 
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Posts: 21
Lesson 1: Building a Healthy Foundation for Change

A. Consider where you feel you are in relation to each of these recovery keys:

1. Actively committing yourself to change
My thoughts: Two things jump out to me. One is the word “committing” which implies a serious effort. Commitment is what I feel like is one of the things my addiction steals from me. My commitment to my wife, my commitment to my faith in God, and all the “failures” I feel like I have when I have committed to getting sober in the past. But the second word is likely the important one in getting the commitment to stick. That is “Actively”. This implies that there needs to be constant action in leading yourself to change. It cannot just be a mental thing. I can’t just tell myself I want to change and that I will and that be enough. I will never be strong enough, I will never think myself out of the temptation by willpower alone, I will never be able to do it without help. Staying active in recovery is the key. As far as where I am right now with this… I feel like I am at the beginning. I am willing to recommit to change and I understand that means being active about it. It’s a start, because I have not been doing anything to actively change over the past 1.5yrs.

2. Not allowing guilt / shame to sabotage your commitment to change
My thoughts: This has happened to me time and time again. The guilt and shame take over and lead me to feel like I am hopeless. That I will never be able to actually fully change, I will at best be able to try to keep my addiction in check, but still live with it. I’m not really sure where I am with this other than realizing it happens to me. I don’t have the answer on how to prevent these feelings or how to prevent them from ruining my commitment to change. I’m hoping to learn some of that by going through these lessons. I think one positive thing is being aware that it happens. Understanding that the feelings of guilt and shame will rob me and will pull me away from my goals.

3. Allowing yourself time to change
My thoughts: This is very difficult for me. It’s an easy concept to hear “allow yourself time, things take time, you won’t heal overnight, the longer time goes on the easier it will be”. But when it is actually happening to me, almost all of that goes out the window. I get very impatient, wanting to see near immediate results. I start thinking about If I am trying to make positive changes, then so should others (my wife). How come since I’m doing some good, she isn’t behaving or treating me like I want her to? This reflects on the problem I have of using the wrong motives for getting sober… to avoid consequences or to have a better marriage, etc. Instead, I need to realize the change needs to happen for me…as a human…as a saved Christian…no matter what else happens in my marriage or life or other relationships, I need healing for me. So, this will be a challenge – to be patient and to make small steps in recovery. I have never been able to go longer than a month staying sober.

B. List 15 reasons why you want to permanently change your life

1. I want to be able to be open and transparent with my wife
2. I want to feel like I have some integrity as a man
3. I want to be able to feel complete and content with the life I have, rather than living two
4. I want to be a great example of an honest person for my kids
5. I want to be an example of a fighter for my kids
6. I want to be an example of courage and integrity for my kids
7. I want God to be able to use me to further His work
8. I want to be able to feel like I can be active in the church without deceiving everybody
9. I want to help my friends start their work without feeling like I am lying about who I am
10. I want to spend more quality time with my friends and family
11. I want to be an example of somebody who conquered their addiction so I can help others do the same
12. I want to be able to focus on more meaningful things in life, specifically a growing relationship with God
13. I want to use the gifts God has given me to help others
14. I want to avoid the feelings of shame and guilt and depression
15. I want to stop trying to grab and hold onto the vapor and short-lived highs of my addiction

C. Reflecting on a picture of yourself as a young child

This is difficult for me to go through, but easy for me to connect with. The only time I really feel any emotions anymore is when I look back at myself as a child before my addiction took over. That or when I see somebody doing something that takes character, that takes integrity…. Even if it’s in a movie. It makes me feel so much shame and guilt about myself…. Wishing so bad I could be like that person. Wishing so bad I could look at myself in the mirror and be proud of who I am…look at the good decisions I’ve made and the right I have done. Instead all I see is all the damage and ruin and horrible things. I see the years of a ruined marriage and relationship. I see how I’ve ruined my wife’s life. I see how I’ve distanced myself from other friends and family. So, when I look back at a picture of me as a child, I remember what it was like to live before this addiction made a slave of me. I remember the pure heart, the innocence I had, the good that I wanted to do. Now I have my own children, and I look into their eyes and I want to BEG God to please not have them go through what I am going through, to please spare them of any type of addiction. I look and see all the time I’ve already wasted and worry about the future and how much more time, precious time that I’ll never get back that I’ll waste. I get angry at God and try to blame Him for making me like this. If He created me (which I believe He did) then why didn’t he spare me of this addiction. If I think of it as a disease, I’m angry that He would allow me to go through this and I’m angry that He hasn’t taken it away from me yet. But I forget that SIN is at play here and that I am responsible for my own actions. That we all have free will. I chose to do things I knew were not right. “And sin when it is finished bringeth forth death…”


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 1:56 pm 
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Posts: 21
Lesson 2: Establishing a Vision for your Life

I want to be a man of integrity. A man that has courage and can take a bold stand to do what is right. I want to become the man that I know I can be…the man that the adolescent me would have looked up to. I want to become a person that puts others first rather than only focusing on my own selfish desires.
I want to be the best father to my children that I can be, spending time with them, discipling them, teaching them, loving them, sharing and creating memories with them, helping them to grow, providing a living example to them of an honest, hard-working man. I want to be the best husband I can be to my wife. To finally give her what she has deserved all these years, somebody that makes her feel loved and desired; a man that cherishes her and leads by a Godly example. Most importantly, my vision includes living out God’s will for my life. This does not mean perfection; but this means allowing myself to walk closely with God so that I am in tune for what He would have for me. Close enough so that I can be used by Him. I believe if I strengthen my spiritual walk, and stop living in this sin of addiction, that the other things I spoke of about as a father and husband will fall into place. I want to become an active member of my local church and to help in my daughter’s school. I want to contribute more to my family and friends. I want to use the gifts and abilities I have been given for good and to make a difference. I want to be somebody who can take pride in how they have lived their life.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 1:57 pm 
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Posts: 21
Lesson Three: The Role of Values

My Values:
1. Living with Integrity
2. Living courageously
3. Living with boldness to do what is right
4. Treating others kindly
5. Putting others first
6. Strengthening my role as a husband to wife
7. Strengthening my role as a father to my kids
8. Strengthening my role as a son to my parents
9. Strengthening my role as a brother to my sister
10. Being an active contributing member of my local church
11. Hard-working
12. Staying Active
13. Enhancing my relationship with God
14. Helping others with their struggles
15. Sense of accomplishment
16. Wisdom
17. Self-Control
18. Proud
19. Personal growth and development
20. Feeling content
21. Continual Learning
22. Being respected at my job
23. Being respected in my home
24. Honesty
25. Humbleness
26. Being a good example to others
27. Strong
28. Giving
29. Communicator
30. Expressing Feelings
31. Sense of Humor
32. In control of emotions
33. Spread Joy
34. Positive and Uplifting
35. Physical Health
36. Raising my children according to the Bible
37. Reliance on God
38. Enhancing Biblical Knowledge
39. Leadership



Dark Side:
1. Being the hero
2. Feeling needed
3. Feeling alive
4. Living an adventurous life
5. Feeling sexually desired
6. Risk Taking
7. Experiencing Euphoria
8. Experiencing things others have not
9. Feeling fulfilled
10. Gratification
11. Avoiding Conflict


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 1:57 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:02 pm
Posts: 21
Lesson 4: Prioritizing your Values:

1. Enhancing my relationship with God
2. Reliance on God
3. Enhancing Biblical Knowledge
4. Living with Integrity
5. Wisdom
6. Honesty
7. Strengthening my role as a husband to my wife
8. In control of emotions
9. Leadership
10. Living with boldness to do what’s right
11. Living courageously
12. Raising my children according to the Bible
13. Being Respected in my home
14. Proud
15. Self-Control
16. Strong
17. Giving
18. Hard-working
19. Strengthening my role as a father to my kids
20. Strengthening my role as a son to my parents
21. Being an active contributing member of my local church
22. Sense of Accomplishment
23. Feeling Content
24. Humbleness
25. Being a good example to others
26. Helping others with their struggles
27. Treating others kindly
28. Putting others first
29. Strengthening my role as a brother to my sister
30. Positive and Uplifting
31. Spread Joy
32. Sense of Humor
33. Communicator
34. Expressing Feelings
35. Continual Learning
36. Being respected at my job
37. Personal Growth and Development
38. Physical Health
39. Staying Active


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 2:01 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:02 pm
Posts: 21
Lesson 5: Identifying Incongruent Values

1. Enhancing my relationship with God
2. Reliance on God
3. Enhancing Biblical Knowledge
4. Living with Integrity
5. Wisdom
6. Honesty
7. Strengthening my role as a husband to my wife
8. In control of emotions
9. Leadership
10. Living with boldness to do what’s right
11. Living courageously
12. Raising my children according to the Bible
13. Being Respected in my home
14. Proud
15. Self-Control
16. Strong
17. Giving
18. Hard-working
19. Strengthening my role as a father to my kids
20. Strengthening my role as a son to my parents
21. Being an active contributing member of my local church
22. Sense of Accomplishment
23. Feeling Content
24. Humbleness
25. Being a good example to others
26. Helping others with their struggles
27. Treating others kindly
28. Putting others first
29. Strengthening my role as a brother to my sister
30. Positive and Uplifting
31. Spread Joy
32. Sense of Humor
33. Communicator
34. Expressing Feelings
35. Continual Learning
36. Being respected at my job
37. Personal Growth and Development
38. Physical Health
39. Staying Active
40. I pray to God each day
41. I spend time in my Bible each day
42. I spend time in prayer with my family each day
43. I do something healthy for myself a few times a week
44. I make time to listen to my wife
45. I tell my wife how I’m feeling
46. I am open to being involved at church
47. I limit my time online
48. I treat my sexuality as a gift from God
49. I seek God’s will for my decisions
50. I am open to Godly counsel
51. I don’t grow complacent in my spiritual walk

Top 15:

1. I do things to enhance my relationship with God
2. I do something healthy for myself a few times a week
3. Strengthening my role as a husband to my wife
4. I make time to listen to my wife
5. I tell my wife how I’m feeling
6. I am open to being involved at church
7. I limit my time online
8. I treat my sexuality as a gift from God
9. I seek God’s will for my decisions
10. I am open to Godly counsel
11. I don’t grow complacent in my spiritual walk
12. Raising my children according to the Bible
13. Strengthening my role as a father to my kids
14. I work hard to provide for my family
15. I look for ways to spend time with my family


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 2:02 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:02 pm
Posts: 21
Lesson 6: Building Proactive Action Plans 1

1. I do things to enhance my relationship with God
a. Make dedicated time to pray each day. Start with 10minutes per and increase
b. Made dedicated time to read my Bible each day. Start with 10 minutes per and increase
c. Start doing a self-bible study. Commit to getting 3 lessons done per week
d. Start attending friends bible study each week
e. Start to reflect on God’s will for my life when making bigger decisions
f. Take notes during church

2. I make time to listen to my wife
a. Make a conscious effort to talk and check in with my wife each day
b. Allow my wife time to talk to me alone (no kids around)
c. When she is talking, don’t do anything else
d. Engage in the conversation
e. Prompt conversations
f. Follow-up with her on things discussed previously


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 2:09 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:02 pm
Posts: 21
Lesson 7: Building Proactive Action Plans 2

1. I do something healthy for myself a few times a week
a. Put all distractions away for 15minutes a few times a week
b. Ideas for healthy activities
i. Go for a walk
ii. Go for a bike ride
iii. Do something for somebody else
iv. Journal
v. Pray
vi. Read Scripture
vii. Stretch & Exercise
viii. Get outside
c. Try to set a dedicated time of day to ease the commitment?
d. Set an alarm as a reminder
e. Share this idea with my wife
f. Focus on connecting with self / God during this time

2. Strengthening my role as a husband to my wife
a. Improving & Maintaining Communication
i. See previous (make time to listen to my wife)
ii. Start to share more personal things with her
iii. Look for ways to engage her in conversations
iv. Share with honesty
v. Don’t withhold communication out of fear
vi. Made dedicated time for conversation with no distractions
vii. Show interest in her conversation with attentive listening
b. Organization / Maintenance
i. Be more willing to spend money on projects she is interested in
ii. Be more helpful with projects she is taking on
iii. Take initiative with some of the projects you think she should be doing
iv. Encourage and compliment her on all of her work on / in the home
v. Help more with chores you feel are mainly her responsibility
vi. Listen to her ideas
c. Support and Encouragement
i. Give verbal and non-verbal signs of encouraging her efforts to lose weight
ii. Be more supportive of her dieting decisions
iii. Offer help with meal prep / groceries
iv. Refrain from comments on food / shopping that may cause her guilt
v. Look for ways to compliment her efforts at home and w/ the kids
d. Physical and Emotional Intimacy
i. Take initiative to show signs of endearment
1. Holding hands
2. Arm around her
3. Hugs
4. Greetings at the door
ii. Find ways to better express your love
1. Cards
2. Notes
3. Gifts
4. Going out to dinner
5. Tell her
iii. Be open and honest about needs
1. Be patient with sex
2. Be understanding of her hurt and hesitancy

3. I tell my wife how I’m feeling
a. Recognize when I’m having feelings that would better be shared then held in
b. Choose on the side of sharing rather than holding back if I’m questioning it
c. Pray for boldness to be able to share
d. Think before speaking and try to share in a way that is beneficial for both me and my wife
e. Remember that sharing is a way to get closer together
f. Lead my example

4. I am open to being involved at church
a. Pray for wisdom
b. I struggle with feeling like I cannot be used because I don’t have any real sobriety
c. Deal with the feelings of being hypocritical
d. Understand that doing something positive is better than not doing anything
e. Think of being involved as a healthy part of recovery
f. Look for opportunities rather than waiting for them

5. I limit my time online
a. Specifically limit my time on the computer while not having something specific to do
b. Remove apps that could be tempting
c. Literally get up out of the chair
d. Create a schedule – to keep better track of my time
e. Do my work in a less secluded area (basement)
f. Set timers / alarms
g. Find a healthier activity than casually browsing the internet

8. I treat my sexuality as a gift from God.
a. I really don’t know how to create an action plan for this
b. It feels like a ‘mind over matter’ concept
c. If I were to treat my sexuality this way – I would NOT be acting out
d. At minimum I need to engrain this belief inside my mind to draw from when temptation arises
e. Study more about sex from God’s perspective


Last edited by 2morrow_is_new on Mon Nov 23, 2020 2:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 2:14 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:02 pm
Posts: 21
Lesson 10: The Concept of Absolute Honesty

1. The lies I am still perpetuating are:
a. Having on-going affair with B
b. Occasionally watching porn
c. Use of Viagra

I am deceiving my wife and family with these lies. I'm deceiving them because I am afraid telling the truth means that I will lose my children. I'm also deceiving myself into thinking that I cannot get healthy, I will never be able to do it.

2. I admit to intend to continue this deceit…although I want so bad to stop. I realize I am sabotaging my life, my wife’s life and my kids. I am putting everything at risk by continuing my behavior. I admit I am sabotaging my own healthy foundation by allowing this to remain. I am working towards being able to end the affair, I have tried twice previously without success. I would come back after a few weeks.

3. N/A

4. List of places items are used for sexually compulsive behavior
a. Viagra in the basement
b. Secret Google Drive of pictures and videos of mistress
c. Porn sites

5. List of people using as compulsive sexual and/or romantic object
a. "B" – local affair
b. Objectifying strange woman
c. Rainchecking

6. List of places to act out
a. In parking lots in B’s car
b. Air BnB / Hotels
c. My office in basement (porn)


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 2:40 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:02 pm
Posts: 21
Lesson 12 Exercise

Identify those patterns that you currently recognize in yourself in relation to an unhealthy recovery:

    They actively prepare their environment for successful acting out by: setting a preliminary foundation for excuses/alibis; seeking out times/situations where they will be unaccountable to anyone but themselves; laying the foundation for the emotional manipulation of others who may pose a confrontational threat (e.g. their spouse), etc.
    They believe that they are uniquely defective and/or damaged as human beings
    They suspect that they will never be able to overcome their urges, and so their goals are to establish the appearance of change, rather than to pursue actual change.
    They find comfort in being able to use "powerlessness" as an excuse for continuing to engage in their behavior.
    They tend to be experienced by significant others across the entire emotional scale. Their emotional experiences are usually presented in their extreme
    They believe that they are suffering from a disease that is beyond their control, but not beyond all hope.
    They believe that they are defective in the sense that their emotions, urges, impulses, etc. are experienced with much more intensity than "normal people". And this puts them at a disadvantage for living a "normal life".
    They tend to confuse addiction recovery with general mental health issues — creating a hypersensitivity to all of the emotions that they experience. Depression, anxiety, anger — they are all tightly related to "recovery" and an imbalance in one often leads to an imbalance in the other.
    They tend to focus on controlling past behavior, rather than learning new behavior.
    They often experience extreme emotions in relation to acting out — extreme guilt, extreme shame, depression, anger, hatred. Or, they experience very mild emotions — when it has become a pattern that they have resolved to accept as a part of their lives.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 12:15 pm 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 264
Hi 2morrow_is_new,
Welcome to RN.
You have a long and searching path ahead of you, but I can guarantee if you stick with it you will find a way to a healthy life. :w:

We recommend that you complete about 3 lessons a week, although some take longer.
Take your time, it is not a race. ( I appreciate that you may have done all these lessons over a period of time before you could post)
If you have any questions post them in the community Support Forum.
There are coaches and mentors here to guide you if required, it is also of benefit to reads other threads, you will find that you are not alone!

Good luck :g:

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 22, 2020 6:07 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:02 pm
Posts: 21
Hey T - Thank you for this.

Yes, correct... it took quite awhile before I was able to post. I have been trying to keep with the schedule of around 3 lessons per week.
This site has already been a great resource and I'm happy to be here.

Theseus1112 wrote:
Hi 2morrow_is_new,
Welcome to RN.
You have a long and searching path ahead of you, but I can guarantee if you stick with it you will find a way to a healthy life. :w:

We recommend that you complete about 3 lessons a week, although some take longer.
Take your time, it is not a race. ( I appreciate that you may have done all these lessons over a period of time before you could post)
If you have any questions post them in the community Support Forum.
There are coaches and mentors here to guide you if required, it is also of benefit to reads other threads, you will find that you are not alone!

Good luck :g:


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2020 2:33 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:02 pm
Posts: 21
Lesson 11: Initial Life Assessment

This page on the website does not appear to be working correctly.

The "follow up" links seem dead.
There is also no "save or submit" button at the end of the page.

Note: The "life assement 2" page seems to behave correctly.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 26, 2020 2:20 pm 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Fri Oct 04, 2019 3:29 pm
Posts: 130
2morrow_is_new wrote:
Lesson 10: The Concept of Absolute Honesty

1. The lies I am still perpetuating are:
a. Having on-going affair with B
b. Occasionally watching porn
c. Use of Viagra

I am deceiving my wife and family with these lies. I'm deceiving them because I am afraid telling the truth means that I will lose my children. I'm also deceiving myself into thinking that I cannot get healthy, I will never be able to do it.

2. I admit to intend to continue this deceit…although I want so bad to stop. I realize I am sabotaging my life, my wife’s life and my kids. I am putting everything at risk by continuing my behavior. I admit I am sabotaging my own healthy foundation by allowing this to remain. I am working towards being able to end the affair, I have tried twice previously without success. I would come back after a few weeks.

3. N/A

4. List of places items are used for sexually compulsive behavior
a. Viagra in the basement
b. Secret Google Drive of pictures and videos of mistress
c. Porn sites

5. List of people using as compulsive sexual and/or romantic object
a. "B" – local affair
b. Objectifying strange woman
c. Rainchecking

6. List of places to act out
a. In parking lots in B’s car
b. Air BnB / Hotels
c. My office in basement (porn)


Hi 2morrow

I'll add my welcome to Theseus. Really well done on getting started in Recovery Nation and the progress you're making through the lessons so far. Stick with it and the rewards will come. I could really sense the desperate longing that you wrote about in your vision to get to a place of integrity and honesty. I can very much identify with that feeling of living a double life, acting out in secret ways while attending church and maintaining an outward facade. I've been there myself and its a horrible place to be, but I'm now the pastor of a church having come through all that. To be honest, I never thought back in the day that I could get to this point but it is totally possible if you put the work in.

What really struck me was your admission above about your ongoing affair. I have to be honest and say that this programme and your vision will come to nothing if you can't stop that affair and find the honesty to move forward with your life. You cannot complete these lessons with honesty and integrity, and your vision won't be realised in reality until you fully commit to change. Well done for being honest with us, but I pray that you would find the courage and strength to do what you have said you want to do. Now is the time to change, and that sense of deep-rooted shame you wrote about can become a thing of the past.

Stay safe.

Tim


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 4:31 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:02 pm
Posts: 21
Tim_Recovery wrote:
2morrow_is_new wrote:
Lesson 10: The Concept of Absolute Honesty

1. The lies I am still perpetuating are:
a. Having on-going affair with B
b. Occasionally watching porn
c. Use of Viagra

I am deceiving my wife and family with these lies. I'm deceiving them because I am afraid telling the truth means that I will lose my children. I'm also deceiving myself into thinking that I cannot get healthy, I will never be able to do it.

2. I admit to intend to continue this deceit…although I want so bad to stop. I realize I am sabotaging my life, my wife’s life and my kids. I am putting everything at risk by continuing my behavior. I admit I am sabotaging my own healthy foundation by allowing this to remain. I am working towards being able to end the affair, I have tried twice previously without success. I would come back after a few weeks.

3. N/A

4. List of places items are used for sexually compulsive behavior
a. Viagra in the basement
b. Secret Google Drive of pictures and videos of mistress
c. Porn sites

5. List of people using as compulsive sexual and/or romantic object
a. "B" – local affair
b. Objectifying strange woman
c. Rainchecking

6. List of places to act out
a. In parking lots in B’s car
b. Air BnB / Hotels
c. My office in basement (porn)


Hi 2morrow

I'll add my welcome to Theseus. Really well done on getting started in Recovery Nation and the progress you're making through the lessons so far. Stick with it and the rewards will come. I could really sense the desperate longing that you wrote about in your vision to get to a place of integrity and honesty. I can very much identify with that feeling of living a double life, acting out in secret ways while attending church and maintaining an outward facade. I've been there myself and its a horrible place to be, but I'm now the pastor of a church having come through all that. To be honest, I never thought back in the day that I could get to this point but it is totally possible if you put the work in.

What really struck me was your admission above about your ongoing affair. I have to be honest and say that this programme and your vision will come to nothing if you can't stop that affair and find the honesty to move forward with your life. You cannot complete these lessons with honesty and integrity, and your vision won't be realised in reality until you fully commit to change. Well done for being honest with us, but I pray that you would find the courage and strength to do what you have said you want to do. Now is the time to change, and that sense of deep-rooted shame you wrote about can become a thing of the past.

Stay safe.

Tim


Hi Tim -

I really appreciate this message and it's certainly good to learn about your similar experience and the success you've been able to have.
I am trying to remain 100% honest going through this workshop, and admitting that I am still continuing the affair was not easy to do.

I fully realize I cannot live with any sort of integrity and honesty while continuing in this sin / deceit. I've tried twice to cut everything off completely only finding myself coming back in a matter of a month or so. I also identify as a love addict and the emotional torture of that I think is sometimes worse.
I am committed to making change. I do believe with God anything is possible and I really appreciate your guidance.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2020 7:00 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 4026
Location: UK
Hello TM is New
Quote:
I am committed to making change.


This community does hope so
You
Well you need to do so before the enevitable forthcoming changes turn to destructive negatives
for sure , if you do not beat addiction, any addiction, then it will beat you

good luck

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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