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 Post subject: I Can Only Be Me
PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2017 9:39 am 
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Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2017 9:49 am
Posts: 67
I am removing this post. It was not posted from an honest place as I was acting out at the time. I will revisit it when I feel like I am speaking from a place of integrity. I am sorry


Last edited by phoenix7 on Mon Apr 24, 2017 11:55 am, edited 3 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: I Can Only Be Me
PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2017 3:46 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2016 11:06 pm
Posts: 108
Hi,

Your post is very interesting.

I lived exactly the same situation. Following a relapse in early January, I have decided to keep a "separation" from my wife (I won't enter in the detail of the boundaries related to this situation). The sense, the meaning, for me, of this separation was to see if I was recovering to save my image my image or really to change myself. After 3 month, I agree with what you describe, I understand the same thing than you. It sounds selfish, and I feel guilty by saying this, but yes this experience was really meaningful.

At this stage I can say I won't behave anymore in a way that gives me shame, in away that would give pain to the one I love. I have seen how much I am weak, how much I have to learn, how much my perception are distorted by addiction... but I have never been complacent, and I did not lie to myself. I still need to improve my proactivity, but my decision making process is healthy. So I am at stage where I may take this commitment, and this separation was a contributor to develop the skills. Now I really recover for myself, and my vision start to change deeply (but slowly!).

Now come others questions, and new challenge: what love does mean for me? I agree with you when you say (correct me I misunderstand) I can not make my partner loves me. But I feel I have to answer, for myself first and for my partner too, what love does mean? This is now the question I really would like to answer. I think I have to continue to move forward to express who I am, for my self but others as well, and to first of all my partner. I want to know my self, to let someone else know fully myself, to someone else enter my "intimacy".

If your wish is to develop the relation with your partner, there is a very interesting "supplementary lesson" on RN about intimacy, that offers an approach to start to think about the couple.


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 Post subject: Re: I Can Only Be Me
PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 10:52 am 
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Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2017 9:49 am
Posts: 67
.


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 Post subject: Re: I Can Only Be Me
PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 2:29 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2016 11:06 pm
Posts: 108
To remove a post must have require effort, courage and honnesty. I wish you good luck in your path. Do not hesitate to continue to post.


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 Post subject: Re: I Can Only Be Me
PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 2:30 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2016 11:06 pm
Posts: 108
To remove a post must have require effort, courage and honnesty. I wish you good luck in your path. Do not hesitate to continue to post.


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 Post subject: Re: I Can Only Be Me
PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 2:30 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2016 11:06 pm
Posts: 108
To remove a post must have require effort, courage and honnesty. I wish you good luck in your path. Do not hesitate to continue to post.


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