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PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 1:49 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:49 pm
Posts: 1626
Hi everyone,

There was previously a post like this that Jon linked to the lesson on life visions, but it ended up being damaged during the time when the boards were being transitioned, so I thought a new one would be good. Recently, a member wrote the vision shared below, which I thought was an excellent example of a vision to start off with. A lot of people struggle with this concept; I certainly did. So this member was gracious enough to let me share their vision with the community, in the hope that anyone struggling with creating their own vision would be able to use this to see the principles that make up a solid vision.

When you read through this vision, note how it deals with practical, specific, measurable elements of the person's life that are clearly meaningful to them...but also notice that it isn't overly specific and detailed, which can be handled in your action plans. Note how you can really get a sense of who this person wants to be as a unique individual and what they care about. Note how they have covered many different areas of their life...and note that while they mention their partner, it is obvious that their vision isn't focused solely on their partner, that they have many other values of their own, and that there will be balance in their life. Note that after reading the vision, it is fairly simple to pull out the top 10-15 values of the person's life for their Values list and Action Plans. Finally, note that even though the past is addressed and some negative, "never want/will not" statements are made, the overall primary focus is positive...focused on who they want to be, rather than who they were.

Of course, remember, when you're doing your own vision, these values won't be your values (they could be, but only if it's something you actually value yourself). It doesn't even necessarily need to be this long. What is important that you get out of this though is the general depth and specificity of values displayed. That is what will provide you with a practical, useful road map out of addiction.

Here is the vision:

Quote:
before my addiction, my drug use, and my self harm controlled my life, I spent so much time being creative. drawing, painting, singing, playing many instruments, and writing. I had won awards for my paintings and I had been honored for my stories. But I let all that go. I would rather watch videos and read stories then make my own. I spent years without putting paintbrush to canvas. I didn't write a single thing for months, many stories go unfinished. Instruments sold. Singing lost its passion. The only comfort I could find was in my selfish orgasms.

I never want to go through it again.

I want to share my passion for the arts as I can. I want to see what I am capable of artistically. I need to spend the hours working on my art again. Whether or not I can see commercial value in a piece, every piece deserves a chance, and should be made. I want to build up my artistic portfolio with many different mediums and styles. I want to spark the interest in the arts in the hearts of others. I want to share my art, my food, my writing, my voice with those around me.

---Reflecting back to my past relationships, I can see my lack of respect for them. I saw them as very little more then an extension of me: only to used for my pleasure. I cared very little for there own dreams. I honestly don't know if they even had any. I spent so much time away from them that I don't know. In the 3 years that my partner and I have been together, he is the one I have gotten closest with. I have shared my past completely. he has been my confidant, my shoulder to cry on, and my best friend. when I'm having a bad day, he has been there for me. I want to give him everything that he deserves. Be there emotionally for him. Listen closely to his needs and wants. Be the balancing pin for his ideas and desires for the future. Help him reach any goal he can. Comfort him when he falls. Help him restore his health. Most of all, I want to make love to him, not even just have sex. I want to just enjoy being with him without the need for an orgasm. I don't want our time together to be nothing more than the proceeds of an orgasm. He is beautiful and should be treated as such.

--I have 5 animals in my care: two cats, 1 dog, and two snakes. All have been recused. each own has been only getting the bare min attention from me. That needs to change. I want to get to know the personalities of each animal all over again. Be proud of my "babies". Update their living spaces and play areas. Feed them better food. Take the dog to the park or the beach more often. Maybe make a view box for my window for the cats to sun themselves. Spend more social time with each snake.

---I do not see myself having children, and my partner agrees. therefore I want to donate time and energy to causes that will help those around me and after me. Take time to recycle. Help clean the local area. Support local farmers and small businesses. Maybe become a mentor to young LBGT. Host cooking and art classes.

---I care not for money. I want to live simply and happily. I wish to find balance in the commercial life of now, and the starving artist. Financial stability in a job that has longevity. I feel no need to race to the top, just be good at the position I'm in. I strive to be a role model to those younger people in the company and support those moving up. Though money will not be the focus of my happiness, I want to be a responsible person and pay off my debt, even if it takes time. Use my dollar as a vote towards the products I support.

--Some 5 years ago, I chose to become a vegetarian. I gave up all meat products and consuming animal fat products. It was a rough change. But in that time I noticed so many good things. A few months ago, I took what I see as the next logical step and vowed to go vegan. As of the first of this year, I have had no dairy, egg, or animal byproducts, though I had stopped most of those months before hand. I have been sharing this lifestyle with others and will continue to do so for the benefit of them and for the benefit of the earth. I want to focus more on my overall health. Continue to slowly loss weight and get into a comfortable and healthy weight range. I want to proactively care for my body, not just mask symptoms. I will continue to use natural remedies before using chemical medications. I will continue to bike on a regular basis, maybe even enter a biking tour or a marathon. I will not ignore my personal health anymore for the health of another, with the occasional exception of my partner.

---I have had a conflict of religion through most of my childhood. I was told one thing, yet we continued to act and do another. I will not be conforming to social or family pressure in regards to my religious choices. I will celebrate the holidays and religion that I want to, not what I have been told I should. I want to dedicate time each day to the study of Buddhism and the study of my own personal Zen-ness. I want to be, without any expectations or ideals. Just be. Spend time regularly in quite repose to find inner peace, to solve questions, to just be.

---I want to find peace with my family. I feel such anger and tension with anything to do with my family. I want to let it go. I don’t know honestly if I can forgive them for the emotional pain I have been through, at least not now. But I want to be a responsible child. I want to be there for my father as he ages. I want to be a positive role model for my younger brothers and my new nieces and nephews. I never want to be used as a negative example again.


Boundless

_________________
"If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where do you expect to find it?" - Dogen

"Be a lamp unto yourself." - Buddha

"The obstacle is the path."


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2014 9:28 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:49 pm
Posts: 1626
Bump. :g:

_________________
"If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where do you expect to find it?" - Dogen

"Be a lamp unto yourself." - Buddha

"The obstacle is the path."


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2014 10:58 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:56 am
Posts: 849
Location: Sweden
I remember reading this thread when I first registered at this site. A very good vision and it really helped me to come to grips with that a vision and values can be like. Thanks for bumping.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 1:05 am 
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Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2011 10:57 pm
Posts: 317
I agree as well, great post and thank you for bumping. It really does help stimulate the thought process needed for articulating one's vision. At the beginning, it is often difficult to see beyond the shell we had become. This post definitely can help widen one's perspective.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 11:49 am 
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Joined: Fri May 17, 2013 3:38 pm
Posts: 212
It takes time to develop a vision that blends practical and idealistic elements. This is a realistic vision that covers many areas of his life. Thanks for sharing.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2015 4:04 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:45 am
Posts: 6
Thank you for posting this. It has sparked something in me to follow through with this exercise : ) Going to get to it now!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2015 10:33 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:49 pm
Posts: 1626
Here is another example of an excellent starting vision that another one of our members graciously let me share with the rest of the community.

Quote:
I am a person who pursues personal excellence in all areas of my life. I am actively pursuing opportunities for growth mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially, physically, etc. In my thoughts, my words, my actions, and my relationships I am working hard to improve myself. If I notice an area of weakness in my life, I am focusing and working on it until I have mastered it. This is the virtue that I find most important (kaizen).

I am an outstanding friend. I laugh when my friends laugh and cry when my friends cry. I am developing enthusiasm for life and I am source of joy and excitement. I am a person of integrity, honesty, and I am developing my eye contact and my empathy to be a better listener. I give friends my full attention. I come to them with an open mind. I open up to them, share myself with them. I give them all the respect and attention that they deserve. I seek out adventures with my friends and having fun. In the future, we will laugh about all the times we were spontaneous and ‘just risked it’ and had a fun adventure. I am a source of inspiration. I am working on these things to make my friends feel special, like a million bucks. Why? Because I can imagine how great it would feel to have a friend like that.

Although I’m still young and marriage is far in the future, I have a vision of what kind of husband I want to be. To my future wife: I want to be your best friend. Just as with all my friends, I want to share my enthusiasm with you. I am working on growing so that I can share the best version of myself with you. I am working on having an open mind and an open heart so that I can be a source of comfort and and safety for you. I am working on this by making an effort to make myself vulnerable and share my feelings and secrets so that we can have a deep bond. I will plan all sorts of crazy adventures with you and give you the time of your life. I want to be that someone you can always trust. I want to be a shoulder you can always cry on and a person you can always celebrate with.

I am an outstanding son and brother. I am developing intimate relationships with my parents and sibling. I am a person of integrity. I offer them my fullest attention when talking to them. I go the extra mile when buying gifts, making a call home, asking them how they're doing, etc. to make them feel special and express the love I feel for them. I am a person who does little helpful things to show how much I love them. I am someone who they know is always there for them because they have always been there for me.

I also have a vision of myself as an outstanding parent. I want be a source of inspiration most of all. I am working on being my best I can be so that I can inspire growth, passion and enthusiasm in my children. I will support them in everything they want to do, just as my own parents supported me. I will focus on my kids even if it means sacrificing career growth or some of my own goals. I will take classes, read books, and learn as much as I can if it means that I will be a better father because of it. I will attend their soccer games, activities and schedule time throughout the week to spend time with them. Once I have children (if I do), I will be someone who puts them first. The thought of having children of my own is still a long, long way off, but I want to acknowledge that being a loving parent is an important part of my vision.

At the foundation of all my interpersonal relationships is my relationship with myself. I am a person who lives by my values. First and foremost is personal excellence. I am striving to grow in all areas that I can improve. I am someone who efficiently and ruthlessly cuts away the unimportant in life. That means nothing like TV, gossip, video games or consumerism can occupy my thoughts or my life. These destructive habits will be recognized and replaced with something new. Even the things that I have been doing for a long time, that I feel a nostalgic connection with. I will evaluate these activities harshly. I will not carry my own chains. For example: joining sports teams, taking a cooking class, reading an interesting book, making something creative or volunteering at the blood bank. I am someone who learns new skills instead of consuming. I develop respect for others and the world. I offer my service to others by volunteering or even doing simple things like picking up trash when I see it on the ground or helping a neighbour mow their lawn. I am a person who values being physically active and fit. I master my own body by finding sports that I enjoy and exercising and eating right. I am already making big steps towards this lifestyle. I will be a vegetarian or perhaps a vegan (because I believe that we shouldn’t kill animals for food if we have other resources). I value positivity and positive expectations. There is no room for needless worry, resentment, anger. I am a person who doesn’t feel bad about money.

I challenge myself to learn new skills. With these new skills, I quickly gain confidence in myself and my abilities. I am a person with high self-esteem and self-respect. I am challenging myself to practice open-mindedness, integrity, listening skills and so on. I practice breathing exercises and positive thinking to develop enthusiasm and joy. I am practicing going out and sharing myself with others. I am already outstanding. But I can still become world-class outstanding. From these skills, I will have laid the foundation for the other parts of my life that I think are important: the relationships with my friends, mate, parents, children, etc. I aim to use this attitude in my career and personal projects to achieve growth.

I am a person with excellent social skills. This includes things like eye contact, listening, making better conversation, making jokes, etc. I won’t strive to be friends with everybody, but I will strive to be pleasant and friendly with everyone. I will strive to have a few really close friends. I am deliberately practicing having a positive impact on people by sharing my enthusiasm with them and offering them honesty and openness.

I am someone who doesn’t take life seriously. By studying more Zen and Buddhist ideas, I am actively working on the skill of acceptance of the way things are. I am easy-going and I take things in stride. I aim to see problems as opportunities and find no place for complaints or negative thoughts. I am working on understanding that everyone is just doing their best and some have been tricked into thinking life is much more serious than it is! Most of all, I don’t stand for things that I don’t believe in.

I am someone who seeks out adventure and new experiences. This can mean going to new types of restaurants to try new foods, talking to strangers I haven’t met before, or travelling to new places. This can also mean being more spontaneous and open to change. I am someone who notices what I am slightly afraid or uncomfortable doing and go out and do it! It is during these moments that I feel most alive and that I make the best memories.

_________________
"If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where do you expect to find it?" - Dogen

"Be a lamp unto yourself." - Buddha

"The obstacle is the path."


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 9:37 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 7:13 am
Posts: 687
These are so inspiring and beautiful thank you for posting.

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"When everything else is stripped away the essential is reveled." B.K.S. Iyengar


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 09, 2015 11:45 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 7:13 am
Posts: 687
Bump

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"When everything else is stripped away the essential is reveled." B.K.S. Iyengar


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2015 7:27 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 7:13 am
Posts: 687
Bump[list=][/list]

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"When everything else is stripped away the essential is reveled." B.K.S. Iyengar


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