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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2015 11:45 am 
Recovery Mentor

Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 7:13 am
Posts: 687
Anyone getting close to finishing the lessons and want to share their experience? Or anyone who has finished them? I see a couple people at this point. As Gpajeff said recently it is a daunting task building a life with very little skill or experience.

We seem to be extremists, either cocky, grandiose, or full of great fear and anxiety. I see very few of us with a realistic expection of life after we finish the lessons. I was so afraid to get out in the world, I did not want to go back to the chaos I was living. I wanted to stay in the cocoon of recovery. I knew I had not ingrained some of the major concepts like; ending seeing my life in episodes, seeing stressful events as recovery triggers, I was not confident. But when all hell broke loose with my dad last week I was amazed at how much I really knew to do. Right away I saw it as an opportunity to really live my values. I knew if I did not the consequences could be dire, my dad has bi polar and he has put us in dangerous situations all our lives, we were across the country where prositution and gambling are legal. It was crazy. My dad has plenty of money and he checks us into a cheap motel. I asked a policeman he said he would not go out after dark, he watches them deal crack. Had I stayed at home in my cocoon I would not have known I could live through this.

Jon "In fact for most people transitioning away from addiction it will initially be harder than any time in you future. "

What I am finding is most of the same things happen as before the workshop, I just regain balance a lot quicker. Don't go all the way down the rabbit hole.

The word transitioning is really important. We seem to like to be all in or out. Grey areas often increase our anxiety.

"The holes you have dug for yourself must be filled."
Taking responsibility for the gaps in my development even when they come from childhood abuse, ect. The only way out of it is if I accept responsibility.

Things I am finding helpful:
Breaking tasks down into manageable chunks
Focusing on what I am doing right
Working diligently on lessons 65 through 70, reading them over and over, applying what they are saying.
Focus on making weekly monitoring. Do it religiously the same time each week. Add goals, reminders, ect.

Making a commitment to try and think through all questions on the community forum, and post to as many as possible. Along with getting out of ourselves, developing empathy, learning to think of others, it shows where the holes in our learning are. Helps us to quit being so self centered, wanting all the answers, needing to be right and know it all. Builds connection with others. We try to put ourselves in their shoes. As far as I know people can still post there when they are done with the lessons.

Visualizing success instead of failure

Trying to take a spiritual perspective that things really are ok, it is just my perspective is off, I am human this is going to happen. Trying to really accept that I am human, ordinary person and this is good. Take the pressure off myself.

Some lines from 12 steps, "we are ego manics with an inferiority complex". We strive to be a worker among workers, a friend among friend". Instead of the best.

Going back to earlier action plans when in crisis, reducing the demands on myself.

There is a really good forum on social anxiety, so many of us struggle with this. After months of not having any social anxiety it has come back since time with dad. I am telling myself this is ok for now. When any of us are living in compulsive mode it is not safe, fear is kind of appropriate. If it lingers on I will work on it.

This is helping me a lot, will write more later, need to go attend to an area of my life that provides very little emotional stimulation, cleaning the house but if I put it off it adds to the overwhelmed feelings.

Thanks so much to all of you.

"When everything else is stripped away the essential is reveled." B.K.S. Iyengar

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