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PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 11:45 am 

Joined: Mon Nov 23, 2015 11:55 am
Posts: 17
well the urges have lessened a little but have been replaced by mini panic attacks...i freak out daily at work and just get the urge to destination in mind ..just want out. I know this might be due to the fact i used to leave work to go do stupid stuff but man its tough. finally got full disclosure with my wife...but she found it the info on my phone and then i came clean of the remanding things i was hiding..not sure if i would have came clean on my own but it feels good that its out.

in my head i keep trying to figure out how all this started..and why. My parents were a poor example of what marriage should be and growing up i knew i would have a better marriage then them...and i did till i started all the stupid stuff...i knew the risk but wanted the reward more than anything..i traded brief pleasure for a happy family and now im almost 40 and seeing a therapist...fml

PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 8:54 pm 
Recovery Coach

Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:38 am
Posts: 263
Hi Needhelp77,

Your addiction used to provide a tremendous amount of emotional and mental stimulation for yourself and that probably helped you cope with other underlying issues with anxiety, stress, your relationship with your wife, etc. Now that you've quit your starting to feel the effects of it and now that your easy to access to that "high" is gone, you have no way to deal with anxiety and it's created a void within you. The only way to truly fill that void is with values. And the only way to learn how to develop those values and truly recover is to work diligently on the Recovery Workshop and complete a lesson every day. Based on the number of posts it looks like you've done at most 1-2 lessons so you have a very long way to go.

Let me be honest with you, you have very little chance of recovery without going through the workshop or at least some other sexual addiction program. The RN Workshop will teach you why people develop an addiction, how addiction relates to compulsive rituals, the importance of values and value monitoring, and how to self monitor yourself to make sure you maintain your health. Because as Jon says in the workshop, the opposite of addiction is not non-addiction; the opposite of addiction is health. So you have to start getting healthy - physically, mentally, emotionally and socially, and then that void within you goes away and then you don't need to rely on your addiction in order to feel good and feel stable. But the first step is to just start consistently hitting the workshop as much as you can. That's the only way to learn the knowledge you need to pull yourself out of this.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 1:19 pm 

Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2015 10:46 am
Posts: 35
I too suffer from panic and anxiety so I feel your pain. I think the addiction was a way to numb my feelings so it's hard to live without it in that regard. I've been having to work through my panic and anxiety and it's been a tough battle. I keep hoping that all this leads to a better place in the long run.

Hang in there!

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