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PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2016 4:50 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 16, 2016 11:04 pm
Posts: 67
Location: US
Hey everyone, I am still very much in the beginning of the recovery process and I don't know if this will be covered in a lesson. I have recently relapsed a few too many times. I realize it was due to me not dealing with my emotions in a mature way. However, I also noticed that whenever I was around people who watch porn (which is what I'm addicted to) and listen to them talk about it like it was TV show, I would use this is a sort of excuse to feel ok about relapsing. "Oh everyone else is doing it, it can't be hurting me that much." Is there anything I can do to prevent this or something that I can remind myself of? I realize cutting myself away from these people would be a solution, but I also feel that's just running away from the problem and if I don't learn how to deal with it now, how will I be able to do so in the future?


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2016 8:52 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3798
Location: UK
hello EH
Quote:
"Oh everyone else is doing it, it can't be hurting me that much."

yes we have all used that excuse
but it is only an excuse and simply is untrue
not everyone is doing it (whatever that it is )
and yes we are hurting someone even if that someone is only ourselves
Peer pressure can be difficult in particular in our formative years, but ask
whose life is this?

if all of your friends decided to jump in front of a train - would you?
believe in your own value, you know that you are better than the way that you are being driven, take control
good luck

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 8:34 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:55 pm
Posts: 1209
On of the biggest thing you will have to get used to in recovery is knowing that as an individual, your pathology, the things that make you and your addiction tick) are unique to you and you alone. Some people, including your friends, can view pornography and no be addicts the same way not everyone who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic. You need to get it in your mind you cannot worry about everyone, or base your actions on what everyone else may or may not be doing. Kenzo said it very clearly----peer pressure can be difficult, but we aren't her for what our peers do. We are here because of what we do and how we interact with sex and sexually explicit behaviors.

Start by answering Kenzo's question. It's obvious, but you cannot skip it. Would you do something dangerous just because your friends did? Well, pornography isn't the same as jumping in front of a train, but watching pornography is dangerous for you. Your friends may not think they are doing anything harmful, and pornography may not be as harmful or addictive as it is for you, but you are not here because of what they do.


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