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 Post subject: What are your values?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 7:52 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:38 am
Posts: 135
What a simple question.It comes up so often in the workshop.Lesson 29 asks to practically meditate on this.
And what if my response is that i really don't have values, have been drifting through life , day to day , moment to moment,letting things happen, wandering dazed and dreamy eyed thro life.

Sure there are some values somewhere ..buts so deeply hidden.

It was a kind of realisation , that in earlier lessons on putting down values...exercise was done honestly enough.but have not lived any of those values .

Posting this to essentially figure out , if anyone has a comment on how to deal with a situation, where one finds it difficult to respond to the question " what are your values?"


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 4:49 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2016 11:06 pm
Posts: 119
Hi,

Maybe you can turn the questions differently:
"what bring your life sense?",
"what did you bring sense today?"
"what you fight for today?"
"what would you be able to fight for?"
"what can make you angry?" (basically anger is a natural response to value/boundaries violation)
"what other people do you think about you?" (this maybe a dangerous question for a SA...)
"What would you like to do tomorrow?next week? next month?"
...

This is not maybe the same question, but it may help to find sense.

Personally I found RN very helpful to handle what is a "value" (1 year ago it was meaningless for me). And it introduces "value" as something first of all practical. Do not stress too much about having the perfect expected answer about this question.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 4:49 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2016 11:06 pm
Posts: 119
Hi,

Maybe you can turn the questions differently:
"what bring your life sense?",
"what did you bring sense today?"
"what you fight for today?"
"what would you be able to fight for?"
"what can make you angry?" (basically anger is a natural response to value/boundaries violation)
"what other people do you think about you?" (this maybe a dangerous question for a SA...)
"What would you like to do tomorrow?next week? next month?"
...

This is not maybe the same question, but it may help to find sense.

Personally I found RN very helpful to handle what is a "value" (1 year ago it was meaningless for me). And it introduces "value" as something first of all practical. Do not stress too much about having the perfect expected answer about this question.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2017 1:18 am 
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Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 12:38 am
Posts: 355
I'm in no position to reply intelligently, I just want to say that this is my problem as well and always has been.
I say that, yet I am fairly successful and ridiculously over-scheduled, yet very little of it "fills" me. But in reality, if I could somehow erase all instances of porn in my life (as far back as I can remember), i think i would find that i have plenty of values, they just pale in comparison to the momentary high of porn/masturbation, so it SEEMS like none of those things I've worked for have great significance.
This is why we hear so much about "the void" when the object of addiction is removed. It is real. Mundane life DOES pale in comparison to a momentary thrill. And if there was some chance of that momentary thrill lasting forever without consequences, we'd be having a different conversation. But there isnt. And mundane life is often less than thrilling. But so is standing at the top of a skyscraper compared to falling. Falling is much more exciting, but then there's the ground...
I believe (but what do I know yet) that letting the thrill die away will give birth to reality starting to have meaning. Thrills are a toxic substitute for reality, but once we start to get that poison out of our system, I believe we'll have new power to appreciate, love, even be thrilled by life. And if we do, it will be based in something real. We'll be flying instead of falling.
Hope that helps (both of us!)


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