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PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 11:51 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:52 am
Posts: 98
Location: Ger
Thanks to this workshop and therapy I'm making a lot progress, but the more progress I make, the more a "new" problem arises. My therapist doesn't really understand what I'm going through, since she's not familiar with the wisdom and vocabulary of this workshop. So maybe you'll understand.

Since the beginning of the year or so I realized a trend. My behavior gets more and more detached from straight sexual compulsion towards a more general compulsion. Sure, when things get tough the sexual parts are still the go to elements, but in general there's just compulsion.

I feel like right now anything could be my addiction, not that this is happening, but the general grasp of compulsion is there. Rationally I can comprehend this. It makes me understand what the workshop means by "the problem lays in the behavior, sex is not the real problem". And it makes me understand how substitute addictions work. Since I know this, I can ward of most negative tendencies quick. But still, I'm left with compulsion in its purest state.

Sometimes I'm just sitting around, with nothing to do, nothing to worry about and I still feel it on my chest. What makes this so hard, is that there are no real elements, there are just signs and often when I realize them it's too late. In many aspects it's more like love addiction, just that love isn't the main subject - everything is. It's just a state of mind, it doesn't matter if cleaning my flat is accompanied by this, or if it's general procrastination, or if like I said before - there's no real subject to it.

Have you ever experienced something like this on your journey? I try to stay as mindful as possible but often mindfulness becomes just another object of compulsion, before I even realize. It's hard to connect to my values, when I'm in this state of mind since I tend to.. you name it - try to use them in a compulsive intellectual way (something that hasn't happened in earlier stages of recovery ironically). And even when I'm in a relatively clear state of mind, like right now, while I'm writing this - I feel the compulsion lurking in the dark.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 6:33 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3552
Location: UK
Quote:
Have you ever experienced something like this on your journey?


Axel
I expect that most of us has
what you need to do is to use the "take a break" brake
use this brake to stop you immediate way of thinking
take a break from whatever it is that you are doing
do anything else
take a walk
make tea
look at the shy
stay clean
hope this helps

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 9:41 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2011 10:57 pm
Posts: 317
Hi Axel,
Most of us I would imagine have compulsive thoughts, and you can look at a compilation positively if it leads to accomplishments you would be proud of.
Kenzo wrote:
use the "take a break" brake
you think about your values, are there life goals? goals you need to develop tools for? Develop what you need to get there.
Just a thought, thinking about people who consider themselves successfully got to where they are.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 3:12 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:52 am
Posts: 98
Location: Ger
Quote:
Quote:
Kenzo wrote:
use the "take a break" brake

you think about your values, are there life goals? goals you need to develop tools for? Develop what you need to get there.
Just a thought, thinking about people who consider themselves successfully got to where they are.


Hey, thanks to both of you!

I often contemplated what I should to with this break. I often stood/stay there and think "well, here I am in the midst of a storm and I need to figure out what to do". I guess it's really about using that break, to create an open space for thought, where you can reconsider values, prepositions, actions etc.


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