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 Post subject: Love life with my wife
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:48 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 3:09 pm
Posts: 15
I would like if possible some advice to a difficult question. I have stopped seeing my wife as desirable and my
sexual appetite is virtually zero. Of course she is very concerned about this. My wife is much desired by many
I do realise I am very lucky but I just do not see what they see at this present time. I have been totally honest with her about my addiction and my work on here but how do I get my labido back with her? Can anyone offer
any advice?


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 11:04 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3465
Location: UK
Hi Espania

Quote:
I would like if possible some advice to a difficult question. I have stopped seeing my wife as desirable and my
sexual appetite is virtually zero.


I certainly am not qualified to answer the question
the problem could be physical, mental or emotional
or indeed combinations of these

however the problem is real and has been going on for some time
there is a need for a resolve
remember from early october

Quote:
at this moment in time I am struggling to have some sexual relationship, I find myself struggling to
want sex and it hurts her, is this normal with this situation. The problem I face is she wants and says she needs sex.

Hello Espania
Quote:
is this normal with this situation. The problem I face is she wants and says she needs sex.


is anything related to addiction Normal?
we are all different yet similar as are our loved ones

does she need sex?
perhaps she needs love and intimacy?
perhaps she needs to feel valued?

I suggest that you give her the things that she asks for bearing in mind what you took from her
you do not need to "perform"

simply satisfy her needs and be very grateful that she still wants you to be the one doing so

finally do not allow this issue to hamper your recovery


my advice would be to seek professional help from marriage guidance or sexual therapist
finally you need to stress the fact that your wife is totally blameless and that you take full responsibility

good luck my friend

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2018 7:39 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 3:09 pm
Posts: 15
Thank you for your advice, I really am grateful. This is tough going but whatever happens I wish my wife to be happy.


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