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 Post subject: Writing for an Audience
PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2018 10:45 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2017 11:22 am
Posts: 293
I read often, "it's not about what the community can do for you, but what you can do for the community"

And I agree. The ingrained support and accountability is very helpful. But I caution those (like myself) that struggle with instant gratification. Each thread is to be used as we please. It's our recovery. Our thread. Our pace. Our choice.

Instant gratification of Likes, comments, or perhaps in this case view count or replies can be addicting. I'm not immune to the call of social media and using it for justification and proof of my existence. And so I find it important to remind myself that my thread here is written for me. That when I write, I'm not writing for an audience. I'm writing for my own healing. And if others do get benefit, I don't need to know about it. My impact is already made by the healing and change I'm doing for me and my family. But when I start writing in anticipation of audience, my tone changes and OMISSION occurs (as did a few months ago).

So I pose a few questions
How do you use your threads? Do you notice yourself writing differently knowing others read it? Checking your view count? How do you break yourself out of that trance? Does this impact your commitment to the program vs the commitment to recovery? If you knew no one was reading this, how would that change your participation? How do you balance using this community for yourself vs giving back to the community?


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2018 12:56 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2017 3:56 pm
Posts: 96
Location: Blighty. Hence the spelling.
I am always conscious that this site is open to the public with an insecure log in method. So I post with a privacy filter.
My recovery is my side of the keyboard. RN is a common resource for the genetic addict and largely that is what I am on-line but RN asks you personal in-depth questions, so it is important that you are totally honest with yourself and do the thinking.


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2018 9:40 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:29 am
Posts: 386
You make a very interesting point Anon and it has certainly crossed my mind too. We are committed to being honest so my honest comments will apply here too.

I do have an eye on view counts and at times that has concerned me that it potentially brings with it an egotistical angle. Being one to probably over-analyse myself though, I have a different view of what higher viewing numbers means to me. That leads directly into your other point about whether we are writing for ourselves or with others' reading it in mind. That is a very astute comment to make and I would suggest (strictly a personal view!) that whilst we are working our way through the lessons we should certainly have focus on ourselves and not be writing to the audience. We are here to learn and take on board the lessons. Replies made by coaches and mentors should be to offer help and support where this is identified as being needed and in some circumstances to encourage but not to the point of blowing smoke up anyone. I know that at times I had the feeling that some words of encouragement from a coach or mentor would make me feel good about myself which on one level reinforced that I was headed in the right direction but there is a fine line when egos are never far away. I would like to think (personal conflict of interest now being declared) that the coaches and mentors know where the line needs to be drawn. At times I have felt that to be a valuable lesson (even now) when I half expected to receive a comment from a positive comment from a coach and it doesn't happen. Afterwards I reflect and realise that there is a very good reason that comments are not always forthcoming, they are given when needed to help focus on a learning point, not to generally backslap. I would like think that this helps me stay a bit more grounded.

That leads me on to say how I view posting to my own thread now that I have gone through all of the lessons. I am wearing two hats now, one as a student of recovery and another as a mentor. I am mindful of both when I post to my own thread. I am perhaps too open in saying what I am thinking but I find it helpful to record it here for my own digestion of a particular point. That openness and honesty at times has led to me receiving a comment from a coach which on occasions I have winced at receiving only to realise on reflection that the feedback was spot on. Towards the end of the post I then find the other hat on my head and wonder if others might find some benefit from a particular learning point too. In those circumstances, if I see that the view count is rising then I would like to think that my posts are generating interest because others are gaining benefit from my own learning points. We have no way of knowing that for sure though I guess but I remain hopeful that this is the case. I am particular mindful that many people struggle at the start and by offering some words of encouragement of what life can be like after the lessons will give them something positive to aim for.

To wind my response up though, I completely agree that what is most important is us writing first and foremost with our own recovery in mind. If keeping any eye on other passers-by disrupts us then that must be avoided.

Thanks for posting this to the forum though, I liked the exploration of that concept.

_________________
L2R

A clean life; a clear conscience


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PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2018 3:10 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3819
Location: UK
Good question Anon
First and foremost
Quote:
Each thread is to be used as we please. It's our recovery. Our thread. Our pace. Our choice.

Spot on, so long as we post within the boundaries of the rules of the site

I asked myself a similar question in my thread circa mid 2016 and took a sabbatical from RN to do the due diligence to that possibility that you raise.
Recovery can become addictive and be that so much better than acting out, it is by no means healthy

Quote:
I find it important to remind myself that my thread here is written for me. That when I write, I'm not writing for an audience. I'm writing for my own healing.

Again spot on, however as RN has open access forums it is inevitable that although we do not post for an audience we need to be aware that there is an audience out there, part of the fabric of the society that we helped to form, including past ,present and potential recoverer's and healers plus of course the curious, so in posting we do post not for, but to, that audience and that is the fine line that as individuals we need to be aware of.

I am sure that in our posting and progress, or lack thereof, in recovery, that seeing our example, our experiences both positive and negative, that others do benefit, but that is not and never should be the prime consideration, we are here for ourselves being solely responsible and accountable to ourselves for our direction of travel

Quote:
How do you balance using this community for yourself vs giving back to the community?

Personally and that is the only way that this question can be answered
I really believe that RN provided me on an FOC basis, the guidance that saved my life, hence putting something back helps me to say thank you, taking that something and benefiting from it is then down only to those who choose to , or not

Finally, my life after the programme has benefited from mentoring and then coaching as this opens my mind to experiences and situations that I may never have considered, thus I hope that when that right time comes for you then you will also consider taking on this role, meanwhile concentrate on your progress in recovering and ignore that audience

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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