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 Post subject: Being fully committed
PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 7:06 pm 

Joined: Tue Apr 11, 2017 1:07 pm
Posts: 16
I have moved through the lessons at a very slow pace and I’ve been thinking about why that is the case.

I’ve identified that I don’t seem to have a routine that I follow each day. I am at university so do not need to follow a 9-5 routine but I’ve realised I’m following no routine and have just been doing what I want when I feel like it. Since this is how I have been living day to day I find myself forgetting about the recovery nation lessons and remembering once I am in bed. By then it is too late to read a lesson because usually they are quite long.

Have anyone else not been as committed as they should be? What are people’s thoughts and advice on being committed?

PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 1:40 am 

Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2017 3:56 pm
Posts: 96
Location: Blighty. Hence the spelling.
Committed or motivated?
I took a year to work through RN.
I lacked motivation at times and life got in the way but I was always committed to recover. And part of that was to work through RN to the end.
There is a lesson where you are asked about your commitment. This is where you need to be totally honest with yourself. There is only one answer else your wasting your time.
Set yourself a timetable for the next few days. Make time for RN as well as your studies and other things of value. This little bit of focus and control in itself is rewarding.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:37 am 
Recovery Mentor

Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:29 am
Posts: 459
Hi RDS136, a courageous and honest post, well done.

I also very much appreciate Spanner's opening comment

Committed or motivated?

as this is right on the money.

Everyone has their own story and their own reasons for joining RN. We all have our own busy lives and different personalities and in my view a blend of all of those things probably determine the frequency in which members log on to RN. Maybe I am the wrong person to me answering your thread as you may be irritated by my journey but if I may share my thoughts behind it then you or others may be able to pick out bits that may enable you to become more committed or motivated?

At the time of joining I felt pretty desperate, each time I acted out the guilt and shame felt like it was getting worse and I just felt entirely trapped by it. I felt that it was a matter of time before I got caught doing something really stupid again and then would lose everything that was precious to me. The workshop has made it clear to me that boredom was my main enemy, feeling no emotion meant that I needed to get my regular fix of excitement and I was fed up of the compulsion to search the internet for naked images of women to make myself feel better and then feel crap immediately afterwards.

I stumbled across RN by accident and thank goodness that I did. I joined almost immediately and started to work through the lessons. Then when I got a moment of boredom at work, I turned to RN to read another lesson rather than opening up the internet and googling naked images. The workshop also suggests caution that RN does not become the next addiction (i.e. swapping one for another) and I have been very conscious of that but there is a balance to be struck. I was desperate to understand why I did what I did and to find the solution to remedying it. So in the 6 months since I joined I have probably logged in most days. I have found though that the word "complacency" comes up frequently during the lessons. I know that would be another threat for me so staying in close contact with RN keeps it in my face. It is one of the reasons that I put myself forward as a mentor in addition to wanting to help others through the lessons and a sense in some way of giving back as RN has saved my life. But not everyone is like me and that's probably a good thing!

Going back to your question, in my opinion I would definitely recommend to others that there is some kind of routine. The lessons do not need to done daily as I did them, but I do see some merits in having some kind of weekly routine even if that is one lesson a week every Friday morning at 8am. Spanner mentions that it could a year to work through and that sounds broadly like a lesson a week. That sounds fine to me as it does not overly intrude on your life and everyone can find half an hour a week to read a lesson and write on their thread. It also keeps a regular weekly contact with RN to keep things fresh in your mind. I am a bit OCD and would favour a set day and time to avoid forgetting to do it but that's probably more just my nature. Anything beyond a lesson a week is then a bonus. The other thing to think about is that the quicker you get through the lessons the sooner you will have the full toolkit to live your new life by but it is more important to complete the journey that the speed in which you travel through it.

Sorry for the long response but I do hope there are some morsels in all of that which may help. Good luck with your journey and I look forward to following your thread and evidence of your renewed commitment and motivation!


A clean life; a clear conscience

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