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PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:52 am 

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2014 9:40 am
Posts: 12

I have been posting the exercises & my views on Recovery thread. I just now finished lesson-13 and I doubt that my values are not practical enough. I am mentioning some of my values below. Please help me to make it practical with examples related to my values.

1. Developing emotional maturity & Positive thinking
• Know my role in the family
o As an elder brother, I need to behave responsibly
o As an elder son, I need to take certain responsibility for earning & discipline
• Be sensible & responsible in my interactions & behaviour
• Take responsibility to make a positive change in my life
• Read a lot about being positive
• Avoid negative thoughts
• Know that I can achieve my goals & fulfil my dreams
• Know that I have lots of family support as well as good friends
• Remember that I can set myself free from this addiction

2. High self-confidence, self-esteem & self-belief
• Think positive
• Increase performance at work
o Observe those who work better
o Interact & make connections with performers at work
o Learn from their experience
o Gain necessary skills & knowledge
o Create positive work time
o Work little extra then demanded
o Observe loop holes at work & fix it
o Share & learn from experiences of those friends who work in the same industry
o Learn, unlearn & relearn
o First do what is essential & then do what is possible
• Good behaviour with known & unknown people
o Behave well with family & friends
o Make sure the interactions start positively & end positively
o Try to learn from others experiences
o Communicate with strangers
o Make positive interactions with strangers
• Improve my strengths & decrease my weakness
o Make my own SWOT analysis
o Concentrate & improve my strengths
o Take knowledge on my strengths & take it to next level
o Develop my strengths so as to make my career & relationship better
o Spot those weaknesses which can improved
o Ignore those which are way too difficult to improve

3. Stop negative thoughts & feeling of inferiority
• Start my day with positive affirmations
o I want to make my life better
o I am responsible to improve myself
o I am making positive changes in myself
o I am getting better day-by-day
o I can do it
• Make positive self-talk for few minutes, atleast twice a day
• Increase interactions with friends who are positive thinkers
• Read a lot about positive thinking
• Fighting inferiority complex
o Understand that I am loved & liked by my family
o I have good friends who respect me
o I need to accept the way I am
o Love myself
o Be open to constructive criticism
o Build on & improve my weaknesses
o Know people, situations & areas that make me feel inferior
o Make plans to face it positively

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 7:53 am 
Recovery Coach

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:55 pm
Posts: 1209

Looking over what you have here and what you have on your recovery thread, I would say you are doing quite well with the energy you are putting into your lessons, but they just need a little tweaking and you will be more on-target. I am sorry you have not received a greeting as such from one of the mentors or coaches as of yet, but there are only a few of us and we can only get here as our own schedule allows.

First, your lessons on Pro-active action plans are well done and thought out. I can tell you are very serious and motivated.

Second, is this, from lesson 13:

Consider the values that surround both your healthy and unhealthy patterns. Are they consistent with your current prioritized values? If yes, wonderful. If not, how might this awareness alter how you are currently perceiving/managing your recovery? Share your thoughts in the community forum.

Okay, what you need to do here is look at the lists of both healthy and unhealthy patterns in your life and consider how each of those activities match up with the list of 15 values you created as your current priority. Take each one of your patterns and match it up to your values---both healthy and unhealthy. Which of those patterns (regardless of positive or negative) helps support a value? Which of them (regardless of positive or negative) makes living up to the values on that list a more difficult reality? Where do you find inconsistency with your list of healthy values? Write about those inconsistencies as well as what you see as what is helping to support your healthy values It sounds strange, but even a negative pattern can be used to help you. Take for instance an example from my own life: My ability to have singular focus is one of the things which made my addiction to pornography such a destructive pattern. However, having the ability to focus so much on things can be turned around and used to my benefit---to focus on uncovering the underlying issues of my addiction by way of reading up on my condition.

After, try to analyze how this exercise has changed/reinforced how you are managing your recovery.

Pretty soon you are going to be developing daily and weekly monitoring patterns to help you to keep on top of your behavior and continually work on changing how you operate your life. You need to develop a sense of transparency. You need to transition from just 'listing' things, to discussing things. It's the self-reflection which will help you the most, and what will demonstrate to others what is going on in your recovery.

After lesson 14, someone should be by to give your thread a once-over. If nobody has stopped by to comment by Saturday, I will do so myself.

Keep up the good work, and start working on the reflections. That's where the real insights come from. Also, don't be afraid to ask questions here in the forum.


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