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PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 1:18 pm 

Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2020 8:33 pm
Posts: 35
This week has been quite overwhelming to say the least. My partner is about halfway into his recovery and a few days ago he decided that he wanted to be honest with me about things that had been going on the past 8 years. He told me that he is trying to value Honesty and that he needs to do this for himself even if it hurts me, and even if I decide to leave knowing everything. He said that he couldn't do it face to face, but chose to type it all out and send it to me. This was really messing with my anxiety since I was afraid for what was going to be revealed. As I was waiting to receive his letter, I prayed about the situation, focused on my own values, and tried to prepare myself to read what he wanted to tell me.

In his letter, he called me a victim of his addiction which really hit hard. I had read the word throughout my lessons in healing, but hearing it from him really made me emotional in the moment. He said that things he revealed to me were stuff he has already talked about in his lessons and couldn't continue hiding it from me. I felt many emotions after reading it that day, and still feel different things at this time as well.

The first thing that I did was put myself in his shoes because I knew how hard it was for him to be honest with me. I told him that I appreciate his honesty because I wanted him to know that I prefer the truth over anything. I also remained calm the whole time as I talked to him about what he told me and did my best to not express how certain things really did hurt me. I am trying to not take what he has done personally even though it is very hard at times. I am trying to implement what I have learned in the lessons so far and understand where my partner is coming from too.

The first time since the first discovery day in 2012, I can say that what he did this week has made me begin to trust him a little. Trust that he is trying to change. Trust that he is taking his recovery seriously. Trust that he is trying to focus on his values. Trust that he is taking me and my values seriously. I communicated these things to him as well and he said he appreciated them. He apologized in his letter as well so I let him know that I do forgive him, but would need to continue seeing the progress to build upon a good foundation of trust. We have been spending more quality time together since that event. I am doing my best to focus on why I truly do love him and why I would want to stay with him despite what he has shared with me.

Just felt the need to share this here. Open to any feedback, or advice. Both sides are welcome. Thank you.

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