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PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 9:43 am 

Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2015 10:49 am
Posts: 4
Exercise 1
Wrote our letters today. Exercise one complete.
This experience was much more difficult than I expected. Both my husband and myself have been caught in the depth of sexual addiction so we are working from both sides in an effort to heal.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 10:22 am 

Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2015 10:49 am
Posts: 4
A. My vision is to live in a life with a partner that is 100 percent real. No lies No hidden second life. I want to love him for all that he is good and bad. I want to be married to my best friend and raise our family together. I want to be able to stand alone or together with my partner.
B. Over the next year I want to grow in our religion together and give God all the glory for our lives. Only God can give Beauty for Ashes Isaiah 61:3.
C.Obstacles in the way, my unforgiving nature, lack of trust, fear, and difficulty in letting my walls down.
D. List of goals, travel, give back to society (charitiy), help and support in anyway I can to stop sex trafficking, to show people that God can really change our hearts and accept us where we are at. We can change.
E. List for my partner, he wants to win my heart back, give back and help people, be a man of integrity, be an excellent father, and bring people to Christ. I think my partners main goal is to become a Godly man and bring people to Christ. He wants people to know that they can change and be loved no matter what they have done. Shame is no longer going to hold him or I captive anymore.
F. Values top 10
1. Religion God first
2. Spouse second
3. children
5. Friends
6. work
7. Pleasure fun adventures
8. Exercise
9. Cooking
10. Crafting

PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 8:38 pm 

Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2015 7:54 pm
Posts: 1
A. My vision is to live a good Christian life everyday and to be the best husband, father and friend that I can be. I have turned my life over to God and I know that I can continue to grow in every area daily.
B. I see my wife in a whole new light. I consider her my best friend and I hope to continue building on our friendship. I also know that it is important to have trust in a relationship. I am going to be a rock the rest of my life and I am going to be somebody that is very trustworthy to his spouse. I am also hoping to win my wife's heart back as nothing more would make me satisfied.
C. Some obstacles that might stand in my way of achieving my goals are: the past broken trust, busy days of work that take away time from my spouse, and my wife putting her wall down so she can accept what I tell her and not think it is a bunch of bunk. I know this takes some time though.
D. My goals for the remainder of my life are to continue to build an intimate relation with God and with my wife. I also want my wife to be able to look at our life and know that from this point in our life until the end of my life that I loved her with all my heart and that I treated her with respect, love, honor, and was trustworthy. I want to be the best father to my kids and I would love to have them look up to me as a good father and somebody they can turn to anytime. I want to be in better shape as well as I want to get in the habit of exercising daily.
E. I believe my partner would want to grow her relationship with God first and foremost. I do believe my wife would love to strengthen her marriage with me and would love to be able to trust me without checking up on me all the time. I believe my wife wants to get to the point that she feels secure in our marriage. I also think she wants to run a marathon someday.
F. 1. God
2. spouse
3. family
4. friends
5. running
6. volunteering
7. weight lifting
8. golfing
9. hunting
10 fishing

PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 5:51 am 

Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2015 10:49 am
Posts: 4
Exercise 2:
This exercise was nice to have someone care for me but it is not possible for me to put down any walls yet. My husband went to store and bought me bath salts. Later that eve he made a cheese and cracker tray with my favorite wine. It was nice to have him think of my needs and be willing to do these things for me. It is difficult to let him help me when at times I am so angry.

PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 5:53 am 

Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2015 10:49 am
Posts: 4
Healing Contract-Peace613

My Values:
God must be present and actively working in life. I expect 100% honesty and loyalty. No pornography, No emotional or physical affair. No electronic communications like chat room/ email/ social media/ calling or texting personal issues with opposite sex. I demand respect and to be valued as a person not just a possession or sex object. I want to at the very least develop friendship.

Behaviors that would concern me from my spouse, hiding phone, changing passwords, lack of emotions, putting my needs on back burner, shutting down, resenting things, anger, lack of accountability, and secrecy.

Affairs physical or emotional, dirty talk, flirting, disrespect, shutting down emotionally, treating others better than me, pornography, masturbation.

These may seem drastic but I have been through too much and to many years filled with deception, lies, and unfaithfulness. The line is drawn enough is enough!

Event Action
Physical Affair Divorce
Emotional Affair Divorce
Online Affair Divorce
Chat room/ Phone (pic and video) Divorce
Physical/ Sexual touching/Kissing Divorce
Embracing`/ groping / Voyeur acts Divorce
Pornography in any form Separation you moving out
Flirting or inappropriate talk Separation You moving out
Lying/ half truths/omission (about anything) Separation You moving out /Divorce if applied to above divorce actions
Disrespectful treats me like sexual possession Separation You moving out
Shuts me out emotionally Moves out of bedroom and counseling
Lusting or gazing at other women Moves out of bedroom
Watching or looking at sexy pictures/movies Moves out of bedroom
Of women (general movies/magazines not Porn) Moves out of bedroom

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