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 Post subject: CM81 & WW329 Recovery
PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 6:49 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 6:17 pm
Posts: 2
Intimacy Activity: Caring

I took pride in caring for my spouse. It was an honor to feed her, brush her hair, brush her teeth, and read her a story. It actually felt good to take care of her that way. We never know when life changing events could challenge these basic things we take for granted. I could feel a vulnerability in myself as a caretaker/provider for my spouse, which I thought would be the opposite effect - I wouldn't be the vulnerable one.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 7:08 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2014 6:11 pm
Posts: 12
Exercise 2
Initially, when my husband was feeding me, I felt uncomfortable. Then, I sat back in the chair, relaxed my body and allowed myself to feel vulnerable. I thoroughly enjoyed when he brushed my hair. He did it for a longer period of time than he really had to and I appreciated that. I love when he touches or plays with my hair. We laughed a bit at the awkwardness (and messiness) of him brushing my teeth. He found a short story to read to me that he thought that I would enjoy. The sound of his voice reading to me relaxed me to the point that I was almost asleep. I think this exercise vulnerability in was interesting, but I already feel very cared for by my husband in many ways.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 7:35 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 6:17 pm
Posts: 2
Healing Contract Exercise

Values: Honesty
Character
Loyalty
Confidence
Kindness
Patience
Understanding

Behaviors/Consequences:

Consistently bringing up past issues - No response about prior discussions
Talking to exes without my knowledge - No contact outside of children/issues
Helping exes in any fashion without my knowledge - No contact outside of children/issues
Not being forthright about sons and problems - Stricter rules for sons
Excessive drinking and/or xanax use. Emotional and physical withdrawal - Limiting access to alcohol and prescription drugs.
Checking accounts without my knowledge, trying to find something without asking first - Changing my passwords so she can't access accounts without my knowledge.
Transparency and honesty in all situations including emotions. I'm not a mind reader. Not worrying about what I might think. Displaying and conveying a positive, upbeat attitude.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:39 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2014 6:11 pm
Posts: 12
Contract

Sex or physical contact of any kind outside of our marriage
~immediate separation/possible divorce
Pornography on computer/phone
~no physical contact for a week
Changing passwords without informing me the same day
~ no physical contact for 2 days
Flirtatious behavior with any female
~ongoing - sleep separately/no physical contact for at least a month, possible separation
~one -time - no physical contact for 2 days
Contact of any form with women with whom you've held any type of previous sexualized relationship
~initiated by you - sleep separately/no physical contact for at least a month, possible separation
~initiated by them/not immediately telling me - no physical contact for 2 days
Lying to me, not even if the truth will hurt me
~ sleep separately/no physical contact for at least a week
Deleted web history
~ no physical contact for 2 days
Making new email accounts, downloading chat sites, secret phone sites, dating sites, people-search sites or any secret social media
~ sleep separately/no physical contact for at least a month, possible separation
Opening credit cards accounts, bank accounts without my prior/immediate knowledge
~ sleep separately/no physical contact for at least a week
Making changes to the blocks placed on social media or turning off phone's location
~ no physical cocntact for 2 days
Searching women on the internet - not for professional/valid reasons
~ no physical cocntact for 2 days
Going out with other people without telling me or lying to me about it
~ sleep separately/no physical contact for at least a week
The healthy behaviors that I would like to see in my husband in these situations is a calm demeanor, an acknowledgement of the wrong and of my feelings in the situation, an acceptance of the consequence and the desire to make it right.

Values
Honesty, Respect, Loyalty, Integrity, Accountability, Sincerity, Loving, Caring


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