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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:36 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 24, 2011 12:44 pm
Posts: 92
We have completed the 1st 2 stages of the Couple's Workshop & the individual workshops & request access to continue with the rest of the Couple's Workshop. Thanks!


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 10:55 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 2:14 pm
Posts: 174
Unfortunately, the later lessons in the Couple's Workshop are not available after being lost in some digitial disaster many moons ago.

Coach Cheryl is hoping to have them reconstructed at some point. In the meantime, Sunshine and I have been thinking about exercises we can do and I started a post about that here: http://www.recoverynation.com/bulletinb ... 33&t=20247

I wouldn't say we're stuck, but the question of how to develop intimacy and trust doesn't have an obvious answer. Sunshine found a useful thread about Intimacy in the Partner's forum and I pulled out an exercise and some links into that which I documented here: http://www.recoverynation.com/bulletinb ... 59#p196459

We're working through a book Erotic Intelligence by Alexandra Katehakis which is looking good because it's designed for someone who's in late recovery, but we're only on Chapter 3 so it's a bit early to decide if I want to recommend it or not. I think it's maybe going to rush into sexual intimacy and we're not really there yet, still lots of work needed on trust (on many levels, not just the betrayal, also on my ability to make the right decisions generally) and emotional connection.

Cheers,
Guided


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 2:11 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 24, 2011 12:44 pm
Posts: 92
We have each finished the workshops, have read Erotic Intelligence (though my husband was not comfortable doing any exercises... so only a superficial just-reading-through-&-done), and, just yesterday I finally had us read together the posts in this area under Couple's Support Forum "Suggestions for further couple's exercises". Again, he (skrelon) says it all doesn't make sense. I am very tired, frustrated of this one-way street! It's always me who has to initiate anything, reading, RN... I'm not saying it is all his fault or issues, because I'm sure it isn't. BUT, I am getting to the point of "what's the point!" of me continuing to initiate anything. Once he finally got "serious" about the workshop and admitted he/we had a problem, we were celibate for many months. Not comfortable, but, I felt, maybe necessary while he sorted things out. Yet, once he successfully initiated our sexual relationship again, it was like "OK, everything's fine now." And back to the old patterns: No, or only very comfortable, superficial communication, like roommates... again! We have been here soo many times. So I have re-initiated celibacy (even tho we must sleep in the same bed, living in small quarters -- there is no "spare room or bed"). After we read together (the "suggestion for further couple's exercises") yesterday he finally said that maybe we need counseling. That it just "doesn't make sense" & "he wants me to be happy". I reminded him this is not just my issue. We stopped our life style of full-time travel for this last year, rented a house here by our grown kids --- I thought to work on this tenuous relationship (since there are good counselors available in this area--some of whose books we have read together). Now, we are getting ready to go on the road again full-time and now, "maybe we need counseling"??? Any suggestions. Are there any decent on-line counselors? He is not religious, so 12-Step based is out (that's what made RN workable). Suggestions/comments, Please.


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