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PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 5:19 am 

Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2014 7:48 pm
Posts: 5
As we can't access the resources post lesson 59 - does anyone have any suggestions as to structured useful material for developing intimacy ?

PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 7:28 am 
Partner's Coach (Admin)

Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2007 3:07 pm
Posts: 5200
Ho Corazon,

I participated in the couple's challenge quite a few years back now, and the exercises therein were designed for developing (non-sexual) intimacy (which is integral as a foundation to a healthy relationship).

One of the exercises was to take a blind-folded walk. This put you in the vulnerable position of trusting the other person to guide you safely on your walkabout. But it also fostered communication as you would describe to your blindfolded partner the sights that you saw, so that they could get a sense of the scenery. It also helps one to get over discomfort and self-consciousness because you have to set aside how silly you might otherwise feel walking around in a public place with a blindfold on, to fully engage in the activity. I think that was by far my favourite activity.

Another activity I enjoyed (and, thus, remember) was planting a tree together. For me, this activity was about sharing, spending quality time together, and then nurturing. At first, we took a sapling from a nearby walking trail, and called it Zeus as it would grow into a huge maple. then, sadly, because we knew little about tree planting, and didn't dig a hold large enough nor backfill with peat and soil, Zeus died. Probably a good thing, as our neighbours might not have appreciated a giant tree in our side yard (yards are in close quarters where I live). Then we bought a tree--and Amur maple because of its size, but also because of it's name (close to amour...cheezy).

Another activity was to go to a cemetery, and walk about while reading the tombstones and noting how old the people were when they passed, and contemplate their loved ones and the life they lived. I think it was meant to allow the person with addiction to face their fear of death (as people with addictions often have mortality issues, apparently. I know my husband did/does).

There are some activities noted in the first stages of the couple's workshop as well, although the workshop itself is locked beyond stage 2, the exercises are none the less good for building intimacy.

Be well

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. (Viktor E. Frankl)

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