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PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2015 5:33 pm 
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10.02.15 (P) Understanding Your Partner's Needs, Exercise Eight

I love and respect my wife so much for making such an effort with this program. I appreciate that she is trying to get the whole family to do fun things together.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 4:36 pm 
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10.02.15 (SA) Understanding Addiction Through Your Partner's Eyes, Exercise Nine

This exercise was difficult in that it felt weird for Ready4Chng not to respond to what I was saying, but it was good for me to feel like he was really listening to what I was saying. After reading the story I think he might have had some realizations about the hurt he has caused. There was a lot of crying from me and it felt cathartic to say some things that I feel I needed to.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 4:43 pm 
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10.02.15 (SA) Understanding Addiction Through Your Partner's Eyes, Exercise Nine

I wanted to crawl under a rock die during this exercise. I had heard most of what she said before, but I had not really truly listened like I did during this. Before I listened to respond, this time I listened to understand. I can't believe all the hurt that I've caused. It was so hard to hear the pain in her words.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 7:11 pm 
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10.06.15 (SA) Understanding Your Partner's Needs, Exercise Ten

“If my partner did the things that I have done —exactly as I have done them—what would I need in order to rebuild my trust in him/her?"

- Get rid of all of the offensive material and access to it. (Note that this would only partially help. If she really wanted to keep lying and looking at porn, she could find a way to access it.)
- 110% commitment to becoming healthy
- Daily feelings discussions. Because you did not share your feelings / thoughts / concerns / etc. I was unaware of what was happening. Daily discussions about feelings will get you in the habit of fully sharing.
- Understanding that when the program is done I may still not be able to bring myself to stay.
- Be here for/with us. Stop being distant.

When I shared this list with my wife she agreed. Daily feelings discussions was not something we had been doing before this. One other thing that she noted was a hope that I could understand why looking at porn was a form of infidelity. When I was immersed in it I justified it to myself by saying that she just didn't understand that porn didn't mean anything. What I didn't realize was how much damage it was doing to our lives, even if I wasn't telling her that it was happening. I realize now that I was spending spending intimate time away from my wife instead of with her.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 6:39 pm 
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09.30.15 Common Obstacles - Understanding Why Couples Fail in Recovery, Exercise Six Intimacy Activity: Hidden Meanings

This exercise was so much fun. It was fun to do and fun to find the little notes in the most unexpected places. It was really a feel good exercise. I was really grateful for the effort that Ready4Chng put into this activity.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 6:43 pm 
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10.09.15 Rebuilding Trust & Respect in the Wake of Chronic Deception, Exercise Eleven

The top 5 activity really got us talking. It was a lot of fun to revisit some things we already knew about each other as well as learn some new things about one another. It was nice to connect in this way.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 6:47 pm 
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09.30.15 Common Obstacles - Understanding Why Couples Fail in Recovery, Exercise Six Intimacy Activity: Hidden Meanings

This really made me feel good. The notes she left me were really nice. I loved finding them in all sorts of fun places. But it also felt great to tell her how much she means to me. I don't say enough how important she is to me, and this was a great to express those feelings.


Last edited by Ready4Chng on Thu Oct 15, 2015 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 6:52 pm 
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10.09.15 Rebuilding Trust & Respect in the Wake of Chronic Deception, Exercise Eleven

This really took us down memory lane. We laughed a lot, and I learned some things about Moving4ward that I didn't know before. We have been together for a long time, and I thought I knew just about everything there was to know about her. It was nice to talk about our lives.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 7:14 pm 
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10.15.15 Why the Relationship Must Change, Exercise Twelve: Scavenger Hunt

We are starting this today.


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