Recovery Nation

Personal Development Forum
It is currently Sun Sep 15, 2019 9:56 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 84 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Author Message
PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2019 6:50 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:42 pm
Posts: 173
LESSON 26 B
DEVELOPING COMPULSIVE CHAIN
LIST A COMPULSIVE CHAIN I AVE DONE IN THE PAST. THEN ADD TO IT WHAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE TO INCREASE THE STIMULATION.
I was having a stressful day. I start looking for something to distract me. I start looking at some news that happened recently. I the middle of one of the news there was an advertising about women swim suits. I casually started looking at them. I was not looking for anything to arouse me. At least that what i told myself. Yet the more and more I looked at the women modeling these suits the more I wanted to look. Then I started looking at a site that showed how to give a women a massage. The women only had a towel over their buttocks. The more I looked the more aroused i became as they showed different women getting different kinds of massages. I started to masturbate and I had an orgasm.
ADDING TO THIS RITUAL i COULD HAVE DONE THE FOLLOWING
Instead of masturbating I could have fantasized that I was giving the massage to a women and I would massage her in ways that would arouse her and she would have an orgasm and then I would make love to her


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 11:45 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:42 pm
Posts: 173
LESSON 31
EMOTIONAL BALANCE AND STABILITY
A. LIST STRESSES THAT AFFECT MY EMOTIONAL LIFE
1) Trying to get a deferral on a 2 month past due Mortgage payment (moderate)
2) Going to police department for annual check in on a previous problem (moderate)
3) Celebrate my birthday (Mild)
B. FROM VALUE LIST, IS THE MAJORITY OF MY ENERGY BEING USED ON MY VALUES?
Less then 40% of my energy is being used on my values
C. FOR A HEALTHY LIFE HOW, MUCH ENERGY IS BEING USED TO IN THE PURSUIT OF MY VALUES?
less then 40%


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 12:18 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:42 pm
Posts: 173
LESSON 32
EVOLVING MY PRACTICAL VALUES
PROGRESS ON PROACTIVE ACTION PLAN FROM 15 TOP VALUES
1) Being disciplined and organized (Moderate)
2) Being honest and trustworthy (good)
3) Being humble (good)
4) Being responsible (moderate)
5) Developing better social skills (moderate)
6) Developing skills to express myself calmly (weak/moderate)
7) Developing awareness of my feelings and emotions and how to deal with them (weak/moderate)
8) Balanced life with God, recovery, wife, self and work (moderate)
9) Developing emotional maturity (weak/moderate)
10) Respect myself and others by having integrity (moderate)
11) Being respectful to my wife in all my actions (moderate)
12) Strengthening my role as a husband (moderate)
A) Improving my communication with my wife (moderate)
B) Showing my Love to my wife (moderate)
C) Developing sexual intimacy (weak/moderate)


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 12:08 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:42 pm
Posts: 173
LESSON 33
DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL MATURITY
I was very good for the assignment of evaluating my emotions for 3 days. I did not do anything toward emotions after that.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 12:34 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:42 pm
Posts: 173
LESSON 34
OBSTACLES TO EMOTIONAL SECURITY
A. TIME IN MY LIFE I USED IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION IN A SITUATION
1. When I looked out my bathroom window I say a women completely nude in her bathroom putting on
her makeup. I watched her for about 15 minutes and I masturbated to orgasm while I watched her. I knew I showed not be watching her but I did anyway. Also my wife was in the next room asleep.
B. Describe the anxiety I felt when I am trying not to act on a compulsive sexual thought or behavior.
1. I was massaging my wife and I became very stimulated and I waned to masturbate after she feel asleep. I talked my self out of this but it was very difficult because I wanted to masturbate. The urge was very strong.
2. Compare this to another time that I feel very anxious and it is not sexual. I feel extremely anxious when I am working on the budget and I don't have enough money to pay everything The sexual urge is a lot stronger then this situation.
C. Describe the feeling I have while I am engaging in a certain sexual thought or behavior.
1. I feel very excited and intense when I am building up to an orgasm.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:34 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:42 pm
Posts: 173
LESSON 35
HEALTH MONITORING ll
A. Over the last 7 days what did I get the majority of my meaning and fulfillment?
1. When I went to the store I was aware of where I was looking and it felt good not to be scanning.
2. I got on my knees while my wife was at the kitchen table and I told her how much I love her
3. I worked in the yard because my wife likes the yard net and clean.
B. Over the last 7 days where did the majority of my energy go.
1. There was a major stressful event at a family event. I looked across the room at my wife's sister when she said she was going to throw her phone across the room to her daughter. I was watching what would happen. My wife thought I was lusting after her sister because I have had an issue with that in the past.
C. Given the meaning I derived this week and the events that happened how well did did I do emotional balance.
1.There were not any compulsive sexual behavior. Yet I did a lot of yard work to direct my energy in a healthy manor.
D. Are there any events or situations I need to be prepared for this next week.
1. The main situation I have to work through is to mend the negative feelings my wife feels toward me because she thought I was lusting yesterday with her sister.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 2:01 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:42 pm
Posts: 173
LESSON 36
THE ROLE OF BOUNDARIES
A. A SITUATION IN THE PAST WITHOUT A WELL DEFINED BOUNDARIES
In my previous marriage I had an affair with my friends wife while my ex-wife was in the hospital having a baby. I was invited over to my friends home and we started drinking, My friend encouraged me to join him in having sex with his wife. I had never had an affair before and it sounded like it would be very exciting. I didn't even hesitate in having sex. I continued having an affair with this mans wife for many months after this first night. My friend was not aware of what I was doing.
B. A SITUATION WHERE I HAD BOUNDARIES
I have been giving my wife a massage for years at night when we go to bed and many times after ward we would make love. Then my wife went through a long period of time where she had trouble sleeping. The only way that she was able to fall asleep was if I massage her but did not want to make love afterwords because that would wake her up. So many times I would masturbate after I massaged her. Then I started feeling guilty for masturbating and I set a boundary that I would not masturbate so I would wear cloths while I massaged her and that helped me keep this boundary.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2019 3:11 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:42 pm
Posts: 173
LESSON 37
IDENTIFYING PERSONAL BOUNDARIES
A. List 3 of my top Boundaries
1. Respect my wife and marriage in a healthy manner
a. Don't go to family gatherings that I know I will have lust issues
b. If I am sitting in a location at a family gathering move and sit in another location
c. Leave and go home if I am not successful in not looking at women at the party
d. Don't stare or watch women
e. Don't socialize with women just be polite and talk to men
2. Strengthen my role as a husband
a. I will be honest with everything when I talk to my wife
b. I will be respectful to my wife and marriage
c. I will do my share in doing responsibilities around the house
d. I will take responsibility for my actions
e. I will show tenderness and affection to my wife on a daily basis
3. Being honest and trust worthy
a. I will honest with my wife at all times
b. I will be honest with big and little things
c. I will share everything and not leave anything out
d. I will be honest as soon as I can on situations
e. I will take responsibilities for my actions


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2019 3:39 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:42 pm
Posts: 173
LESSON 38
DEVELOPING HEALTH BOUNDARIES
A. Review the boundaries in the previous lesson
B. Consider at least two situations where this value my be threatened. are the boundaries enough to protect against this threat
1. Wanting to masturbate after massaging my wife
a. I would expand the boundary to wear cloths when I massage my wife
2. Go to the beach and get stimulated seeing women in skimpy bathing suits and wanting to watch R rated movies on TV and masturbate afterwords
a. Boundary- I would either go to the beach very late in the afternoon because there are less people or leave if I start having problems
3. Becoming very frustrated because my wife and I had an argument and wanting to look at R rated material of women on my phone and wanting to masturbate afterwords
a. Boundary- Turn off my phone or leave the phone in the other room. Take a walk instead


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 84 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group