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PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2016 3:00 am 
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I. Develop your Daily Monitoring list. Construct it in some sort of word processing document (Word, Notepad, Wordpad, etc.) so that you may update it as needed. Post this list into your Recovery Thread.
Note: If you are in personal coaching, your Coach will help you build this in Session II. It will then be converted to an online form so that they can assist you in accountability. Please have your initial monitoring plan ready for review by that second session.
II. For the next two weeks, select a particular time each day (typically, right before going to bed or, just after awakening) and complete this monitoring. It is not intended as a checklist to measure your success/failure. It exists instead to provide you with ongoing focus and awareness. And, to establish a mechanical monitoring process that will eventually become an internalized, natural monitoring process.
Remember: Spend no more than five minutes in reviewing your Daily Monitoring each day. While it may seem beneficial to spend fifteen minutes or more going over your behavior...this has historically proved to be destructive in the long run. You are establishing a pattern of monitoring that should be quick and natural. Not drawn-out and complex. Also, remember that this list will evolve as you evolve. If you require the same item on your list for more than thirty days in a row...and you have not either 1) ingrained that issue as an area to monitor internally; or, 2) resolved the issue...then you are doing something wrong. Post the issue in the community forum for assistance.


GENERAL

Did I forego instant gratification that would block progress to my ultimate goals for productive behaviours that lead to accomplishing those goals?
or
did I succumb to unconscious pleasure seeking that generally harms my life and relationship with myself?

PHYSICAL

Did you take care of your body today so that it can repair, be at it’s optimal health and sense of wellbeing? And so that your mind can repair, function clearly and be at it’s best?

Did you behave in a way that is conducive to reaching your fitness/physique/health goals?

Did you ensure you were well rested?

FINANCES

Were you financially responsible today?

Did you take time to work on your budget plan that will be enacted in the next few weeks?

MENTAL ATTITUDE/EMOTION

Did I focus on solutions to problems or on the problems only

Were your thoughts and emotions in line with someone who will get themselves out of debt and improve themselves, truly change?
I.E.: was I unnecessarily negative in my thoughts, maudlin, petulant, defeatist
OR
- positive despite setbacks or negative occurrences around me?

Were my thoughts dominated by ruminations on past failures and humiliations,
or
did I let the past go for the moment, and see the future as a place of new possibility where good things can happen?

AM I FREINDLY WITH THE PRESENT AND PAYING ATTENTION TO IT

Did I approach others with a sense of worthiness and of being equal them?
Or
did I approach people with a sense of being inferior, unwanted, incompetent, unimportant?

CREATIVITY

Were your actions congruent with someone who wishes to progress in her visual arts skills?

Were your actions congruent with someone who wants to progress in her musical skills?

GENERAL

Did I do things I HAD to do despite not wanting to do them?

Did I behave according to my ethics today?

UNCONSCIOUS PLEASURE SEEKING/INSTANT GRATIFICATION
-picking skin
-eating favourite snacks ritually
-surfing the internet for random useless questions that come to mind because I don't want to focus on what I have to do
-thinking about heartbreaking things, disappointments :->feeds the pain body

Did I work quickly and diligently with focus, intention and concentration?
Or
Did I drag my ass, do the bare minimum possible, be inefficient with my time?

Did I behave in a way I would admire in another?

Were you gross today? Did you behave in a way that fills you with distaste, shame or disgust?

Did I prioritize my activities responsibly? Was I responsible for myself and my issues today?

-Did I behave in a way that is congruent with helping to save the earth’s natural world? Animals and ecosystems?

-Did I behave in a way that is congruent with someone who would like to change humans’ impact on the earth by finding a way to fulfill their basic needs so that they are less warlike and more respectful of the environment that supports them?

RELATIONSHIPS

-did I pay as much attention to friendship as romance?

-did I think a person's name compulsively over and over again?

-did I compulsively check messages for word from a man?

-did I approach him from a place of confidence and unattached joy in myself and my life, or a place of deficiency and need?


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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 8:31 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:35 pm
Posts: 17
<b>Lesson 15 Exercises:
I. Take a minute to review what you have learned over the past two weeks. Of what you have learned so far, think of one example of how you have actively integrated that information into your day-to-day life. Share this in your personal thread.<b>

It has been more like 6 months, and I still cannot successfully do all of the things listed in my Daily Monitoring everyday, consistently.
It is not that these things are not important to me, they are.
Many of them are vital for my survival, financial and physical. Their importance cannot understated.
The rest are vital for me to feel as if I am doing <i>anything</i> of personal importance to me. Progressing or learning in any way.
Despite the lack of mastering the things listed in my Daily Monitoring, I feel I need to forge ahead, or I will just stall there and never finish the RN nation work.

What I have learned:
-I have extreme difficulty figuring out what is a priority and doing that first in a day
-I have a problem with starting 10, 20, 50 things and finishing none of them
-my mind is constantly whirling with all the things I "have" to do as I basically have a backlog of 10 years of not finishing any projects
-despite all this, I have realized I just have to keep going. It might take 10 years, but eventually some things will get done. Order will eventually come out of chaos. At least some of it :)


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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 8:53 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:35 pm
Posts: 17
Lesson 16 Exercise:
I. Consider the POSITIVE role that addiction has played in your life. What purposes has it served (think short-term, not long)?
Understanding the functional role of your addiction is important in removing the power, mystery and fear from that addiction — to begin seeing it in terms of practicality, rather than as some kind of supernatural fate or disease that you are doomed to suffer.
Share a few positive aspects of your addiction in your recovery thread.


Love addiction and romantic relationships:
-provided me with a sense of importance
-provided me with a sense of worth
-another way of going out, socializing, parties, friendships
-gave me a purpose to my life when everything else had not worked out, or was more difficult to achieve than the love of another person and the relationship they provided...and so it became my everything.


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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 7:12 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:35 pm
Posts: 17
Lesson 17 Exercise:
I. Consider a particular compulsive ritual that you have engaged in. Identify the elements of this ritual and post them in your recovery thread. It is important that you understand the principles involved in identifying the stimulating elements of compulsive rituals...so if you are not comfortable with this concept, ask questions! Also, recognize that the elements listed above are not the only elements associated with compulsive behavior. And so, you will want to identify those elements that are specifically related to YOUR compulsive behavior.


I'm not really feeling this at the moment and will give it more thought and return to it.
The last 2 lessons have brought up many realizations for me that are not addressed by the excercises that follow. I may just sum those up instead. Here are a few ideas tho...

Compulsive ritual: All of these involve an element not on the RN wheel: AVOIDANCE (of responsibility, hard work, achieving anything real in my life)

-thinking about my ex/ wishing we were together: FANTASY, SUSPENSE(aka HOPE), AVOIDANCE...also just plain love
-going to his house: FANTASY, SENSES, ACCOMPLISHMENT, AVOIDANCE
-Trying to have romantic relationships with men despite the fact it was most often not a good idea: PAST,(trying to correct the first initial horrible relationship), AVOIDANCE
-drinking: POLY ADDICTIONS, SENSES, AVOIDANCE


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PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2017 2:31 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:35 pm
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Lesson 18
II. Consider one of your own compulsive rituals. Identify circumstances when each of the three filters (time, habituation and intensity) have come into play. Make sure that you understand each filter to the point where you are able to identify them as a ritual is being performed. Post these personal examples in your recovery thread.


RITUAL: quickly losing myself and making my life revolve around my romantic partner at the expense of everything else

TIME: all of the time I spend thinking about "our" life, making plans where they are involved. All the time I STOP spending on ANY of my hobbies, interests, or other people I know.

HABITUATION: this happens slowly over the course of 3-6 months generally. I'm like a frog in a pot of cold water that slowly starts to heat up to boil. Despite the fact that I'm logically aware of the fact that I'm losing all the other facets of my life, I seem unable to stem the tide. I'm pulled irrevocably further and further in to the relationship- always much to the displeasure of my significant other who began dating me because I was strong, interesting, independant, funny. I focus more and more on it until it is the only thing in my life. And then my life is very unrewarding and boring and I become miserable. But it is the easiest way for me to feel like I've "accomplished" something, so I continue to do it. It's easier than becoming a highly skilled worker, or musician, or artist.

INTENSITY: Becomes more and more intense until it just plateaus, and this is where the relationship begins to fall apart. It can't provide me with any more pleasure than it already has. It has reached its limit. And because I've lost all connection with anything else I value in life (making art or music, taking in film or art, playing sports, pursuing new interests, spending time doing these things with friends rather than a romantic interest) I have no other outlet for satisfaction in my life, and I become extremely disatisfied, then depressed, then suicidal


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