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PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2018 7:05 am 

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:03 am
Posts: 11
Lesson 1

Exercise A:
1) I am willing to commit actively to changing myself to a better person, to a person i've always wished to be. I'm also willing to commit actively to recovering permanently and never returning back to addiction ever again and also eliminating the behaviours that always lead me to relapse.

2) Honestly I have a lot of guilt, but I will 'forgive' myself and let go of my past for the sake of changing myself, for the sake of not allowing this guilt to sabotage my efforts and my commitment to actively recover.

3) I am willing to allow myself enough time to recover. I will try my best to not make my active recovery process too long though. Nevertheless, patience and full commitment is the key.

Exercise B:
I seek to permanently recover because:

1. I want to start living a successful, realistic and genuine life without my need to associate happiness and comfort to instant pleasure; instant gratification.

2. I want to develop superior control over my urges and desires and not be control by my compulsive behaviour.

3. I want to spend my limited time wisely and use my precious 'youthful' energy in things that can significantly help to improve me.

4. I want to finally break free. Break free of compulsive behaviour, free of the constantly nagging urges I keep getting mutiple times a day on a day to day basis.

5. I want to prove to my loved ones (the ones that are addicted too and my mum) that active recovery is fully possible and that i'm perfectly capable of recovering permanently.

6. I want to finally be able to control areas in life that i've never been able to control because of my compulsive behaviours.

7. I want to finally excel in my studying and I want to have a strong, mascular, powerful body.

8. I want to get rid of the constant nagging sexual thoughts that drastically reduce my productivity levels and constantly puts my motivation and commitment to change in the bin!

9. I want to be religiously consistent with my progress; starting something that would significantly improve me and then after a couple of days I stop and then that loop of self-destruction continues.

10. I want to start feeling like a man, a responsible man, a man with honour and dignity. Not a man that watches people having sex and faps to it. It's time to stop acting like a cuck and start changing for the very best!

Last edited by DefenceWarfare on Wed Jul 11, 2018 2:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2018 10:10 am 
Recovery Mentor

Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2017 11:22 am
Posts: 178
Hey DW,

Nevertheless, patience and full commitment is the key.

Couldn't have said it any better myself. So let's do this thing and welcome to RN!

You cannot unknow what you now know—that your life has come to a point of dissatisfaction and that you’ve been managing it with unhealthy decisions. The circumstances which bring you here may indeed be unique, but the path you will take to recover from them is not. What am I saying? You’re not alone and recovery is possible.
Your firm commitment to your life beyond addiction will make all the difference—don’t forget that it is your choice. So if health is what you want, then commit to yourself with conviction and complete the exercises with absolute honesty. The path is long and hard, but it has been done countless times before you.
Although we recommend completing around 3 lessons a week, we encourage you to read or post daily. That being said, recovery is not a race and it’s important to go a pace with which your body and mind can safely handle—many believe recovery to be a journey, not a destination.
If you find yourself challenged or have questions with one of the lessons, utilize the help forum as help is readily available.
Coaches and Mentors are likely to drop by occasionally. If they don’t, no worries, it’s generally a good sign that you’re on the right path.
So, do you accept this invitation to your new life? The choice is yours.
May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you live with ease,


PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2018 8:09 am 

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:03 am
Posts: 11
Lesson 2 - Establishing a Health Vision For My Life

My Life Vision:

Commitment in my life. Commitment to challenge myself to change and become the person i've always wanted to become, a powerful person, a person of success. To be determined to tremendously improve myself step by step, no matter how small or big my steps to improvement are. To acknowledge the fact that time is limited and that I want to make a sincere decision to change NOW! To be courageous and determined to achieve my goals. To develop passion, drive and eagerness to study and train. To have a strong, powerful, mascular and functional body that is only limited by my own genetic potential. To realize that I need to take small consistent steps towards achieving my realistic goals. To realize that I am perfectly capability to achieve any pragmatic goal I set up for myself. To realize that knowledge is potential power and that gaining knowledge and using it is the ultimate power. To be kind and loving to others, especially my loved ones and my friends. To respect people around me, especially my lovely parents. To be patient, calm, brave and logical in stressful situations and in dealing with conflict. To have self-control while dealing with conflict. To be well organized in life. To realize that the pain of procrastination is significantly greater than the temporary pain of working to achieve something. To take pride in who I am and be confident in myself. To be a hardworking individuals and become a finisher; finishing anything I started. To become a role model to my younger siblings so they can learn from me and as a result become better individuals as they grow up. To learn how to deal and speak to people older than me. To live life with passion.

Last edited by DefenceWarfare on Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2018 8:40 am 

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:03 am
Posts: 11
Lesson 3 - The Role of Values in My Life

A. Done

B. On your computer, extract the values from the vision you have created and list them:

1. Staying Active
2. Developing Passion
3. Being Kind To Others
4. Taking Care Of Myself
5. Enhancing My Relationship With My Family
6. Being Dedicated
7. Being Calm
8. Having Fearless Confidence
9. Being Honest
10. Developing Superior Intelligence
11. Taking Risks
12. Overcoming Challenges
13. Being Healthy, Mentally And Physically
14. Improving My Fitness Levels
15. Being Independent
16. Always Learning
17. Developing Emotional Maturity
18. Being Competitive
19. Overcoming Mental Barriers
20. Being Respected
21. Being In Control
22. Masculinity
23. Pragmatism
24. Developing Self-Discipline
25. Forgiving Myself And Others
26. Eagerness
27. Being Organized
28. Respecting Others
29. Integrity
30. Developing Consistency
31. Patience
32. Developing Self-Reliance
33. Being Successful
34. Having Appreciation For What I Have In Life
35. Being Understanding
36. Willingness To Change For The Best
37. Eagerness
38. Enhancing My Spiritual Depth
39. Being Happy
40. Being A Meek
41. Trusting My Decisions
42. Wanting To Always Improve
43. Being Proud In Whom I Am
44. Being An Inspiration To Others
45. Being A Role Model To The Youngsters
46. Being Reliable
47. Providing Quality In My Work
48. Living An Adventurous Life
49. Creativity
50. Striving For Excellence
51. Accepting Failure And Learning From It
52. Being A Leader
53. Learning To Become Comfortable With Discomfort
54. Going For It
55. Curiosity

Values From My Dark Side:

1. Seeing Women As Sexual Objects
2. Lack Of Urge Control
3. Emotional Immaturity
4. Idleness
5. Fear Of Pain
6. Instant Gratification
7. Procrastination And Wasting Time
8. Very Lazy And Always Tired
9. Negative Thinking; Pessimism
10. Lack Of Willpower
11. Not Finishing My Work
12. Setting Idealistic Goals
13. Lack Of Patience
14. Looking At The Income Instead Of The Outcome
15. Lack Of Self-Confidence
16. Can't Control Negative Emotions
17. Inability To Trust Myself
18. Lack Of Communication Skills
19. Lack Of Movement
20. Fear Of Taking Risks
21. Lack Of Fluency
22. Not Organized
23. Negative Emotions Take Control Of Me
24. Too Emotional (At Times)
25. Lack Of Consistency
26. Lack Of Self-Discipline

Note: Seems like us humans are a lot better at identifying the negative parts of ourselves than the positive ones (At least that's what happens to me)...

Last edited by DefenceWarfare on Thu Jul 12, 2018 2:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2018 2:27 pm 

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:03 am
Posts: 11
Lesson 4 - Prioritizing My Values:

1. Developing Self-Discipline
2. Developing Consistency
3. Overcoming Challenges
4. Being A Hardworker
5. Having Fearless Confidence
6. Overcoming Mental Barriers
7. Developing Superior Intelligence
8. Providing Quality In My Work
9. Striving For Excellence
10. Being Successful
11. Being In Control
12. Patience
13. Being Organized
14. Wanting To Always Improve
15. Developing Emotional Maturity
16. Respecting And Being Kind To Others
17. Learning To Become Comfortable With Discomfort
18. Being Healthy, Mentally And Physically
19. Improving My Fitness Levels
20. Taking Care Of Myself
21. Staying Active
22. Being Understanding
23. Being A Leader
24. Developing Self-Reliance
25. Always Learning
26. Masculinity
27. Being Healthy, Mentally And Physically
28. Being Reliable
29. Enhancing My Relationship With My Family
30. Accepting Failure And Learning From It
31. Developing Passion
32. Being Calm
33. Being Competitive
34. Being Respected
35. Willingness To Change For The Best
36. Eagerness
37. Integrity
38. Forgiving Myself And Others
39. Being A Role Model To The Youngsters
40. Being An Inspiration To Others
41. Having Appreciation For The Things I Have In Life
42. Trusting My Decisions
43. Developing Self-Reliance
44. Being A Meek
45. Enhancing My Spiritual Depth
46. Being Independent
47. Living An Adventurous Life
48. Pragmatism
49. Being Proud In Whom I Am
50. Creativity

PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 6:23 am 

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:03 am
Posts: 11
Lesson 5 - My Refined List of Values:

Top Fifteen Values:
1. Developing Self-Discipline
2. Developing Consistency
3. Being A Hardworker
4. Having Fearless Confidence
5. Developing Superior Intelligence
6. Providing Quality In My Work
7. Self-Respect
8. Being In Control
9. Being Organized
10. Treating People Kindly With Respect
11. Taking Care Of Myself
12. Staying Active
13. Improving My Fitness Levels
14. Masculinity
15. Overcoming Mental Barriers

Last edited by DefenceWarfare on Sat Jul 14, 2018 5:10 am, edited 6 times in total.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:41 am 

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:03 am
Posts: 11
Lesson 6 - Building Proactive Action Plans I:

Being In Control:
  • Minimizing playing games to 1 - 2 times a week.
  • Minimizing phone usage.
  • Avoiding wasting time browsing on the internet.
  • Getting myself busy with something that would improve me.
  • Not allowing technology and my negative emotions (boredom, laziness and so on) to control me!
  • Controlling anger and pride.

Developing Self-Discipline:
  • Pushing myself to complete and finish my work properly.
  • Not giving in to laziness and laying down.
  • Using the 3 second rule to make me start, work and finish my work (study, training, ect...).
  • Developing interest and passion for the things I push myself to do (like chores and other things).
  • Realizing that at times where i'm really tired I shouldn't really push myself.

Being Organized:
  • Doing my bed in the morning.
  • Making sure my cupboard is organized properly.
  • Ensuring my clothes aren't laying around in my room.
  • Ensuring my room is clean and in good condition.
  • Making sure my desk and my study stuff are organized properly.

PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 7:43 am 

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:03 am
Posts: 11
Lesson 7 - My Proactive Action Plans II:

Developing Consistency:
  • Try my best to be consistent with doing my tasks.
  • Avoiding procrastination like the plague.
  • Reminding myself why ‘I started’ my task.
  • Planning ahead to avoid forgetting or postponing my tasks.
  • Taking consistency seriously and making it a habit.
  • Lastly, enjoying doing my tasks, no matter what they are.

Being A Hard worker:
  • Having a strong desire to meet my goals.
  • Finishing my task properly.
  • Being action-oriented; not allowing my brain to make up excuses to not do a certain task and constantly moving my butt and making change.
  • Developing passion for ‘finishing’ my tasks and trying my best to achieve my goals.
  • Having a ‘hard workers’ mind set.
  • Realising that people who work hard have more patience and manners than people who don't work hard and are more grateful for the small things and big things they have in life.
  • Having self-sufficient confidence to persevere when things start going tough.
  • Being dead serious about my studies before it gets too late.

Treating People Kindly With Respect:
  • Not affecting people around me if I’m experiencing negative emotions or facing a problem.
  • Being polite to people.
  • Avoiding invading people’s ‘personal bubble’ (minimizing touching and hitting, keeping my distance).
  • Allowing people to finish talking fully before I start talking.
  • Listening intently to people (being a good listener).
  • Being gentle with my friends and loved ones (and people who deserve it).
  • Being very helpful and obedient to my mum and not being a burden on her.
  • Acknowledging the fact that as long as I’m living in my parent’s house I’ll have to respect their ‘rules’.
  • Avoiding criticising people and pointing out their mistakes rudely.
  • Avoiding being negative and rough.
  • Keeping my cool with my father and avoiding conflicts with him and ignoring his criticisms (or using them to improve myself (it depends)).
  • Respecting others.
  • Being calm and patient.
  • Avoiding calling people nicknames.
  • Avoiding being nosy.
  • Avoiding doubting and being paranoid.

Staying Active:
  • Keeping myself constantly busy (with useful things).
  • Preventing myself from laying down and sitting on comfy seats during the day (laying down and comfy seats make me lazy).
  • Realizing that the more active I become the more energy I’ll possess.
  • Focusing mostly on studying, training and improve my fluency in speech.

Taking Care Of Myself:
  • Brushing my teeth for at least twice a day + flossing and cleaning my tongue.
  • Having cold showers in the morning and hot showers only if I need to have a proper wash.
  • Wearing clean clothes.
  • Ensuring I smell nice throughout the day.
  • Washing my face and cleaning my nose thoroughly when I wake up.
  • Eye washing twice a day (morning and evenings only).
  • Avoiding touching my eyes (to reduce the amount of tears produced).
  • Cutting my nails on my hands once a week and on my toes twice a week.

Improving My Fitness Levels:
  • Being dead serious about my training.
  • Being religiously consistent with my training.
  • Making sure I tense my muscles hard and giving it my all while training.
  • Eating healthily and avoiding eating “because of the pleasure of eating”.
  • Stretching actively before bedtime on “no training” days.
  • Acknowledging the fact that results don’t come overnight.
  • Daily eye training and logging my progress once a month (my eyes are improving, check:
  • Drinking lots of water (to increase my energy levels).

Having Fearless Confidence:
  • To fear not and care not about judgement.
  • To avoid thinking negatively of myself.
  • Taking pride in who I am and what I believe in.

  • Not doing anyone’s job for them.
  • Doing what I say I’d do.
  • Not raising my voice (even when I’m angry).
  • Getting myself out of this addiction (contributes a lot to self-respect).
  • Avoiding doing embarrassing things when no one’s watching me.
  • Will not be ordering people to do things for me.
  • Refraining from using profane language (it decreases my self-respect).
  • Thinking carefully before saying something and avoiding expressing my opinions too much.
  • Being honest and trustworthy.
  • Avoiding complaining to people about my difficulties and problems.
  • Avoiding showing people that I feel sorry for myself and calling myself ‘poor’.
  • Avoiding blaming the environment for my current circumstances.
  • Realising that every best friend has a best friend. Meaning: avoiding telling mine, other people’s secrets and my own personal problems to others.
  • Not tolerating people who don’t deserve respect and don’t respect me.

Overcoming Mental Barriers:
  • Looking at the outcome of doing something instead of the income.
  • Using state-management techniques (physical and mental methods too) to improve my mood and emotional states.
  • Simplifying my beliefs, to become more confident in my abilities.
  • Looking more at the pleasure of finishing a task instead of the effort (pain) of doing the task.
  • Writing out the why’s of doing a task beforehand to increase productivity.
  • Using my habit tracker app to motivate myself and track my progress.

Providing Quality in My Work:
  • Putting 100% effort into my work.
  • Ensuring everything has been done perfectly in order to avoid criticism.
  • Focusing on the thing I’m working on only (to avoid distractions).
  • Accepting the fact that I'll sometimes fail; ensuring that I learn from my mistakes and do my work better next time.

Developing Superior Intelligence:
  • Enhancing my curiousity to learn (the right and useful things).
  • Being enthusiastic.
  • Developing passion for learning.
  • Using what I’ve learned; knowledge is power only if it is used.
  • Writing ‘what I’ve learned’ summaries or reports at the end of the day.
  • Revising everything I’ve learnt before bedtime.
  • Revising first before studying a new topic (something like a brain warm-up).
  • Working hard so that I can get perfect straight A*’s to get to the top universities next year.
  • Academic studying duration: At least 8 hours a day and at least 5 hours a day in the holidays.
  • Focusing on becoming an expert in the field of development (for now).
  • Being committed to studying and being super consistent with it.
  • No more break days for studying (time is tight).

  • Avoiding wearing tight to very tight clothes.
  • Avoiding thinking and taking too much time to improve my ‘look’.
  • Having self-confidence.
  • Being bold.
  • Getting comfortable with confronting people (politely).
  • Being able to express myself and defend my rights by working on my communication skills (including fluency, vocabulary, confidence, etc.)
  • Having a good and correct posture.
  • Standing behind the truth.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2018 6:47 am 

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:03 am
Posts: 11
Lesson 10 - Absolute Honesty

I. I don't have a partner but I've been kind of decieving my parents. Coming 'clean' to them would just make them angry, sad, depressed, loss of hope in me, and many other things. I don't think they need to know about my addiction as it wouldn't help me to recover. I wish to keep my past to myself and build my future and share my 'new self' with everybody. I've done a lot of bad things in my past, and I don't think anyone needs to know what they were. The risks are too high.

IV. None, just have an account on one of the porn sites. But I am not planning to EVER go to the sites again. So I can't destory my account. EDIT: I flopped and relapsed 4 times in a row!!! I managed to delete my nasty porn account!

V. None (too young).

VI. Bathroom, bed, sofa (rarely though), internet, phone, laptop.

Last edited by DefenceWarfare on Mon Jul 16, 2018 7:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:13 am 

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:03 am
Posts: 11
Lesson 12 - Recognising Unhealthy Recovery Patterns:

1. Fear of relapse and triggers.

2. Thinking (subconsciously) that i'll never recover and that I have to accept my fate.

3. VERY STRONG urges to relapse and when I do relapse I go into "No commitment mode", I go into a weak psychological state and start giving in to my urges (usually it starts with vivid thoughts and chaser effects, and all of that leads to PMO relapse) and as a result I go into a full blown relapse (10+ a day!).

4. After relapsing I they have a strong need for "getting the urge out of my system" and that usually takes months or even years to "complete"!

5. When I stop experiencing crazy urges I then gain back my commitment to quit and usually get to day 5 - 14 of complete abstinence.

6. The problem is I start self-sabotaging my recovery. How? By being lazy all day, constantly playing games, not studying, watching stuff on Youtube and so on. I then start exposing myself to triggers, my heart starts pumping like crazy, I start shaking uncontrollably and viola, I relapse; a full blown relapse.

7. Not taking my addiction seriously.

8. Constantly doubting myself; will I make it or not? ...

9. Instead of doing something productive I keep focusing too much on recovery and as a result I awaken the addictive part of my brain and sooner or later I slip.

10. Extreme procrastination and laziness (I'm always exhausted ffs).

11. Fear of change. Fear of leaving this addiction. All of this is at a subconscious level.

Last edited by DefenceWarfare on Mon Jul 16, 2018 7:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 6:39 am 

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:03 am
Posts: 11
Lesson 13 - Healthy Recovery Patterns

Early recovery:

In early recovery, individuals often experience significant doubts relating to their ability to change.

True. I need to change that.

In early recovery, extremely negative emotions are the norm: especially as they relate to
depression, anxiety, hopelessness and suicide.

Depression, anxiety and hopelessness are the negative emotions I experience on a regular basis.

In early recovery, they tend to explore many different trigger situations to see how well they can handle themselves. To see "how far they have come". This is a behavior that is often witnessed in adolescent wound care — where the adolescent almost compulsively tears open their bandages to "check the wounds". Of course, just like with addiction, such behavior is often problematic — as it opens the individual up to additional infection. But it is a behavior that provides comfort to the adolescent — no matter what stage of healing the wound may be in.

Never. Testing the water is stupid, but funnily enough I usually compulsively tear open my wound dressings to "check the wounds"; it's usually kind of satisfying to see how much your wounds have recovered. Mind me, I'm still an adolescent.

In early recovery, they tend to experience relief in having their behaviors understood, and immediately seek understanding in all areas of their life. Unfortunately, this tends to overwhelm them, distract them, etc., but it is fairly common...and a good sign that their desire to change is sincere.

Understood by whom?

In early recovery, these individuals may be all across the board in terms of treatment, and may display many similar traits as to those in the "Those Who Will Occasionally Struggle With Relapse" category above.


In early recovery, they perceive "powerlessness" as "helplessness" and "desperation".

Always happens to me.

In early recovery, significant others tend to experience these individuals as very needy, pathetic, "lost souls".

I haven't reached the middle recovery nor the late recovery stage yet. -.-'

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 7:33 am 

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:03 am
Posts: 11
Health Monitoring I:

  • Have I been keeping myself active and busy today?
  • Did I organize my stuff properly today?
  • Did I ensure that I’ve done my work properly and without any shortcuts?
  • Did I avoid ordering people to do things for me?
  • Did I refrain from using profane language?
  • Did I avoid calling people nicknames?
  • Did I avoid sitting down on the sofa and laying down during the day?
  • Did I exercise my eyes today?
  • Did I avoid procrastinating my work today?
  • Have I been focusing today on developing the habits I have created in my habit tracker app?
  • Did I avoid playing games today?

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