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 Post subject: Re: on the road thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 10:48 am 
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Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 12:58 pm
Posts: 168
Thank you for the reply Kenzo.

Most of my thinking from the previous post came from trying not to focus just on a single aspect of my life, like sexual addiction, because I've experienced that it's sometimes too easy to label things and focus on them really narrowly. Like saying I'll just quit behaviour X or something and than trow oneself into another unhealthy behaviour. I've at least seen myself get compulsive at just about anything like reading the news. I can't help to think, don't others fall into similar patterns also?

loving relationship
friendship
creating things
mutual respect
open communication
getting in shape
quality lovemaking
self esteem
fun
building a business
building a home
healthy eating
eco friendliness
loving oneself
teaching
sharing knowledge
closeness
working out
losing weight
growing things
quality eating
making things


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 Post subject: Re: on the road thread
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2018 10:59 am 
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Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 12:58 pm
Posts: 168
Lesson 5

Thinking about major life decisions and the values involved. Since I've been in recovery for more than 5 years and have done the exercises before I will only examine the last few years, as I've truly turned my life around. One one of the major ones was starting a company, with my SO nonetheless. I think It was totally in line with my values, as it was even one of the lists I posted here and I long time desire.
I think I am pretty clear on the values I want to pursue.

There is one value conflict that has often "gotten me into trouble". It's the fact that I want to pursue friendships with people from my youth. I love them like brothers, but often they are not really acting healthy. I have a tendency to want to "fit in" and I just go along with what they are doing anytime I am around them. It has put my values of loving relationships and creating a family in jeopardy. Need to work on that.


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 Post subject: Re: on the road thread
PostPosted: Sun Dec 30, 2018 12:55 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 12:58 pm
Posts: 168
Lesson 6 - proactive plans

Getting in shape:

Eating healthy
-eating less / no carbs
-consuming less calories
-not eating at night
Exercise
-work out daily at home
-do cardio (don't really like it)

Building/renovating a house, my SO and I are planing to renovate a house in the next 6 months
-get architect to finish plans
-get permits
-talk to contractors
-talk to bank about loans
-clean out junk
-be proactive, so SO doesn't need to work on all the paperwork

Strengthen relationship with family
-visit parents
-be positive in communication
-help out
-be proactive in communication
-find common interests


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 Post subject: Re: on the road thread
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2019 11:00 am 
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Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 12:58 pm
Posts: 168
Some more action plans

friendship :
-call friends to hang out
-do healthy activities with friends
-do sports activities with friends
-find friendships with SO

creating things:

-I will not have that much time to "invent" things in the near future
-Most work will go into building a house
-help others on projects
-continue working on exiting activities

open communication:

-don't space out
-share thoughts
-share worries
-don't hide things
-be honest


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