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PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 7:09 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Why do I permenantly want to change my life?

1. I want to have a healthy sexual relationship, for the rest of my life

2. I want to cure my D.E problem (very important)

3. I don't want to live with addiction for the rest of my life.

4. My anxiety problem's will fade away, if I beat my addiction.

5. Later on in life my addiction could cause real problems wich I want to avoid.

6. I want to reboot my brain so I can enjoy everyday pleasures.

7. I want to eliminate the negative feelings that I regularly encounter.

8. My addiction substitutes a relationship with a real partner, I want to have a real relationship.(Wich is not possible at the moment)

9. My addiction crossed some boundaries that don't identify with my identity.

10. My sex/porn addiction fuels anger in me wich I really want to change.

11. To much time has passed since I've been acting out addictively, I'm sick of it.

12. This addiction has been messing up my hole life

13. I want to feel healthy.

14. I missed out on a lot of things because of my porn/sex addiction.

15. I lost my way.

16. Being addicted keeps me from living a real life.

17. I wish to change my lifestyle for the better

18. I spent to much time as an addict


Last edited by dragonStyle on Mon Jun 12, 2017 7:01 am, edited 9 times in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 7:26 pm 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 7:13 am
Posts: 687
Hi,
I wanted to welcome you to Recover Nation. It is a lot of work and soul searching but can be life changing:). Coaches and mentors might occasionally check in with you but this is primarily a self directed workshop, we all take responsibility for what we do or don't do on here, as in life:).

If you have a question the community forum is a good place to ask. Glad you are here!

Wishing you well,
Theadog

_________________
"When everything else is stripped away the essential is reveled." B.K.S. Iyengar


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 5:56 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
My life vision

Till high school I was ok with everything. I could say in high school things started to change and that there was something missing. Only in college I realized that that missing spot was filled by bad habits and addiction to pornography which I was not conscious about. I didn't realize how bad it was (ED,DE when I first had sex).
I realized that changes need to be made in my lifestyle: old habits need to be replaced because they do not fulfill me no more, they come from my young adult self that was only focused on entertaining myself mostly. I chose to end my addiction not keeping any ties to it. Moreover I plan to focus on personal development, gathering knowledge and researching areas of interest for a healthier view of life in genereal and spending my time in constructive ways so I can better myself. It's a much better way of spending free time than being cought up in entertaining myslelf only. I belive that creating new habits could be productive and could help me gain maturity for constructing my new identity, changeing my core self from destructive and time wasting to constructive.
Added to this the final goal to wich I'm driving to is to end up in a REAL relationship because it's been a long time and I truly wish to share myself with another person completly.








There is no habitual thought pattern or emotional response which we cannot change


Last edited by dragonStyle on Mon Jun 12, 2017 7:09 am, edited 12 times in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 8:27 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Values

1.More conscious

2.New lifestyle

3.New way of thinking

4.Being more mature

5.Being more responsible

6.Better health

7.New way to view life

8.New productive habits

9.Personal Development

10.Becoming a better version of myself

11. Spending my time in a more productive and consturctive way

12. Being more creative

13. New Identity

14. Discovering healthy sexual intimacy

15. Sharing myself with another person

16. More active than sedentary

17. Independence against dependency

18. Being dedicated to change

19. Avoiding road to lifetime addiction

Values that sustained porn/sex addiction


1. Intense pleasure

2. Boredom

3. Fear anxiety towards a real relationship

4. Does not affect me its just on PC

5. Uncontrollable feelings

6. Perversion

7. Feeling not good enough

8. Relief

9. Doing it for so long, started thinking this is who I am.


Prioritizing my values

1. Becoming a better version of myself

2. New way of thinking

3. New productive habits

4. Avoiding road to life time addiction

5. Being dedicated to change

6. Personal development

7. Spending my time in a more productive way

8. New Identity

9. Being more mature

10. Being more responsible

11. Discovering healthy sexual intimacy

12. Independence against dependency

13. New life skills

14. Sharing myself with another person

15. New way to view life

16. More conscious

17. Being more creative

18. New lifestyle

19. Better health


Last edited by dragonStyle on Fri Jun 16, 2017 8:23 am, edited 8 times in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2015 8:06 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Proactive plan

1. New productive Habits

- create a new daily routine;

- managing my time in a resourceful and productive way.

- eliminate old habits, routines by sustaining new ones

- actively commit to new habits, routines.

2. Being dedicated to change

- Accept that there is no more time to waste

- Constantly refuse old ways of acting and behaviour

- Actively pursue change.

3.New way of thinking

rewire my brain to new activities

try to use value based decision making

meditate daily

Change the paradigm in my mind

There is no habitual thought pattern or emotional response which we cannot change


Last edited by dragonStyle on Sat Jun 17, 2017 7:48 am, edited 5 times in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2015 6:57 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Proactive plan (continued)

4. Avoiding road to life time addiction

- begin the rebooting process and stick to it no matter what.

- complete recovery workshop.


5. Personal development

- do research on different areas of interest;

- participate in this recovery workshop daily;

- read books ;

- work on hobbies and habits daily.

6. New lifestyle

- avoid toxic people, behaviors and activities.

- start practicing diffrent types of meditation ;

- take up research projects as a hobby.


7. Discovering healthy sexual intimacy

- First I should recover normal sexual function which I know takes time but a complete reboot should do it.

- realize that healthy sexual intimacy is the ULTIMATE GOAL.

- try to go out see where it goes.

8. Sharing my life experience with a partner

- when the rebooting process is complete and I feel trasiotioned to health I should start to go out see where it goes. My goal is to end up in an healthy relationship keeping no lies, start rewiring to a healthy approach twoards women. Finnaly sharing myself with another person completely , become dedicated to this relationship and seeing how great it is because it's been a while.

9. Spending my time in a more productive way

- work on hobbies and new habits daily;

- focus on evolving rather then escape trough entertainment;

- do not waste time anymore, keep myself occupied





10. More conscious

- read about addiction to be more conscious about my situation;

- meditate daily;

- practice makeing decisions based on a more conscious aproach.


11.Becoming a better version of myself

- envision the best version of myself and keep that image strongly in my mind;

- practice daily the image that I envisioned;

- actively commit to becoming my best version;

- use proactive plan for achieving change and results.


Last edited by dragonStyle on Wed Jun 21, 2017 6:44 am, edited 13 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:06 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Lesson 10 Exercise

-I am decevieng myself mostly ,sometimes I cover up lies from family.


List of compulsively stashed matterial :
* i use personal ads to act out sometimes.

List of places where I usualy act out:
Internet: ads, , chatrooms, porn on smart phone.



"There is no habitual thought pattern or emotional response which we cannot change"


Last edited by dragonStyle on Thu Jun 22, 2017 7:34 am, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 11:02 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Lesson 12 Exercise



- I tend to minimize or rationalize the behavior(it's not that bad..it's not how it seems);

- Relapse triggers are seen as oportunities to act out;

- Relapse triggers are feared;

- [Often experience extreme emotions in realtion to acting out: anger , anxiety , irritability][/i]

"There is no habitual thought pattern or emotional response which we cannot change"


Last edited by dragonStyle on Fri Jun 23, 2017 5:21 am, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 12:57 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Lesson 13


Patterns: - doubt in ability to permanently achieve change;

- negative emotions: hopelessness, anxiety, depression.

- attempting recovery for a short period than acting out (testing the waters);

- still struggling with immoral behaviors that contradict my values
;

- I am motivated to live a life that I can be proud of from now on;

- small steps towards decisions that I think that are right for me, rather then old behaviors of deceit.

- focused on developing new patterns that will take place of old addiction patterns;

- I started seeing life as a process of continued development;

- I identify my future as a healthy person that used addiction to manage my life.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2015 2:24 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Lesson 14 Health Monitoring (Areas that actively need strenghtening)

4 weeks

1. Imputing change in my life/New productive habits

Did I use my time in a resourceful way?

Did I stick to my new created daily routine?

2.New way of thinking

Did I practice rewiring my brain to new activities?

Did I practice making decision based on my values?

Have I stopped old habits by sustaining and creating new ones?

3. Avoiding road to life time addiction

Did I keep to my plan to reboot succesfully?

Did I actively participate in the recovery workshop?

4. Personal development

Did I read from self help books?

Did I spend time with myself enjoying hobbies?

Did I reasearch diffrent areas of interest?

Did I participate in recovery workshop?

5. Integrate spirituality in my daily practice

Have i practiced meditation daily?

6. Spending my time in a more productive way

Did I work on my habits and hobbies every day?

Did I keep myself occupied not wasted time?

7. More conscious

Did I read about addiction to gain a clear understanding about my situation?

Did I practice mediation for today?

8.More active than sedentary[i]

Have I been active today by doing what I promised myself?

[i]9.Becoming a better version of myself


Did I envision the best version of myself for today?

Did I activley commit to becoming my best version?

10.How would I describe my overall emotional balance and stability at the moment?

"There is no habitual thought pattern or emotional response which we cannot change"


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 6:18 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Lesson 15

By focusing on my life vision and prioritized values I can now envision and practice daily a better version of myself and I am taking small steps for a healthy lifestyle.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 02, 2017 6:08 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3880
Location: UK
hello DS
and welcome back
Quote:
I am taking small steps for a healthy lifestyle.


let's hope so
however for now on evidence presented perhaps the jury is still out

show progress my friend lets get this show on the road
you can do it

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 5:23 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Lesson 16


Positive aspects of addiction: On a short term it made me feel good, and made me forget about life's problems.

Acting out without knowing its effects was a way of gaining instant relief.

It actually helped me manage stress.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:30 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Lesson 17

Particular compuslive ritual: Poly addictions : Adding to my compulsive behavior, I used to drink alcohol to take a brake from everything, but always ended up relapsing, engaging again sometimes even more heavily in the compulsive behavior.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 5:31 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Lesson 18

Compulsive ritual: Engaging in cyber, in chatroom: Time The chat could go on for hours if it was good, especially the search for the right partner.

Intensity: While cybering I would edge for a long time nealry to the point of O'ing just to maintain the strong high of it.


Habituation: The search for talking to the same person in another day, When the session ended i'd quickly bounce back in for another hit, And if no filter was installed almost daily the ritual would repeat.


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