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PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 5:31 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Lesson 18

Compulsive ritual: Engaging in cyber, in chatroom: Time The chat could go on for hours if it was good, especially the search for the right partner.

Intensity: While cybering I would edge for a long time nealry to the point of O'ing just to maintain the strong high of it.


Habituation: The search for talking to the same person in another day, When the session ended i'd quickly bounce back in for another hit, And if no filter was installed almost daily the ritual would repeat.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 03, 2017 6:39 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:13 am
Posts: 27
Lesson 20

1. I discovered MO at a young age maybe when I was 10 . I started fantasizing and soon when I reached puberty I found the Internet and got hooked instantly. I used to watch galleries of pictures, fantasizing about pop stars etc, healhty normal kid stuff. Soon my porn tastes morphed so I was online weekly fapping 3 to 4 times per day.

When I became a teenager I got Internet at home at the things that usually did it for me werent working so without knowing I escalted to other genres of porn that kept me obsessed about it. Soon porn wasnt enough I would search for cam mates, and started talking to escorts till i became 18. If I recall addiction was always present, when I learned about my condition in my early 20's I got an internet filter and struggled with it for a couple of years being on and off . I think maybe i manged to stay on month free of acting out addictvley but that was it.

After that on and off period I discovered a chatroom and from there I went downhill for 2-3 years having cyber I couldnt belive the rush that I felt and how it occupied my time. Today Im fighting for my freedom.



2. If a major bad lifechangeing event were to happen Id feel the addction come back as just watching a porn video once in a while, maybe If I couldnt handle what was happening the addciton could maybe be present to take my mind off things and keep me feeling good, but surely it would progress to other forms of acting addictvely. If my addiction was coming back and my porn tastes were starting to change from vanilla to somtehing else that would be a First Sign to try to stop it and reboot.


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