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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 5:09 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 4:32 am
Posts: 19
LESSON 1 Building a Healthy Foundation for Change
QUESTION A
Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change
2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
3) allowing yourself time to change.
Consider where you feel you are in relation to each of these recovery keys? Briefly share your thoughts in your Recovery Thread.

ANSWER A 1)
I initially came to this forum nearly 3 years ago. I didn't put in the work required for my recovery and as a consequence have wasted 3 more years of my life. My addiction to porn has stolen so much of my life that I can't bare to think about it. My recovery from porn addiction is THE most important thing in my life. If I don't put this first, I will waste many more years.

ANSWER A 2)
Although I do have pangs of regret that I have allowed myself to be a slave to my addiction for so long, I'm not hanging around in guilt
and shame. There's no point. I understand that my addiction to porn is very serious and the compulsive patterns are deeply ingrained. Nothing will sabotage my commitment to change.

ANSWER A 3
If I'm honest, I want to change today, this moment. However, I understand there is no magic switch and this process will take time.

QUESTION B
My Reasons For Wanting to Permanently Change my Life

1. I want to be the best man I can possibly be
2. I want to create a successful business
3. I want to be sure that I have lived the best life I could possibly have lived
4. I want to feel confident in myself
4. I want to be in a healthy, loving relationship with a special someone
5. I want to be there for my family and friends
6. I want to get my pilot's licence
7. I want to be able to travel the world/have an adventure
8. I want to be financially free
9. I want to feel 'normal' in the company of other people
10. I want to be the healthiest/fittest I can be
11. I want to have a clear mind that can concentrate/focus
12. I want to be transparent with people
13. I want to be more sociable
14. I want to feel confident around women
15. I want to live the rest of my life free from all addictions

QUESTION C - My Yonger Self

When I looked at the photo of my younger self I felt a sense of responsibility. It was as if that child was crying out to me to not let his life slide further into the hell it has become. He seemed to be relying on me for his life. Felt a bit tearful.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 8:57 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3880
Location: UK
Hello Camus and welcome back


Quote:
I initially came to this forum nearly 3 years ago. I didn't put in the work required for my recovery and as a consequence have wasted 3 more years of my life. My addiction to porn has stolen so much of my life that I can't bare to think about it. My recovery from porn addiction is THE most important thing in my life. If I don't put this first, I will waste many more years.



so you are stepping away from the denial inherent in addiction, I do hope so because if you really are and you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination


remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 5:09 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 4:32 am
Posts: 19
LESSON 2 - ESTABLISHING A HEALTHY VISION

I have done much soul searching for this lesson and feel that my vision has to be big, otherwise it won't inspire me. Everything in this vision is within my power.

It simply requires effort applied intelligently.

I have one overall vision for my life.

I also have 'mini-visions' for various aspects of my life and reasons 'why' I have these goals. I need the 'whys' to keep me focused.

LIFE VISION
To become financially independent in the next 10 years then to spend the rest of my life giving it away.


Why
I have a burning desire to stretch myself and test the limits of my potential. This desire is born from a fear that I will die having wasted my life to various addictions. The way I will test the limits of my potential is to set up a business or businesses, invest and become financially independent within 10 years.

After I become financially independent, I will pusue a life of fun, philanthropy and spirituality.


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VISIONS FOR VARIOUS ASPECTS OF MY LIFE

1. Spiritual
To build on my connection to my higher self.


Why
I believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience. What could be more important in life that investigating this fully?


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2. Physical Health
To be in the best physical shape of my entire life.

Why
I will only ever have one body so I need to ensure I maintain it as best as I can. This will pay off as I get older.



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3. Mental/Emotional Health
To develop a resentment free mind that is free from the darkness and negativity that has plagued my life so far.

Why
My mind has been plagued by anger, darkness and negativity for a very large part of my life. I believe my current dissatisfaction with life is because I have lived most of my life thinking negatively. This type of thinking has never served me so it's going to stop.


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4. Money
To be financially free within the next 10 years.

Why
So I can be free to enjoy my life without having to work. Simply to prove to myself I can actually do it. So I can be free to volunteer. So I can be free to travel when I like. TO BE FREE!


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5. Work/Career
Freelance digital marketing consultant, affiliate marketer, entrepreneur, investor.

Why
In order to fulfil my life vision.


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6.Hobbies
To indulge in my two great passions in life - flying light aircraft and travel.

Why
I believe we are only here once in this form. Flying and travel are my life’s great passions so I should be enjoying them as these are part of what makes me, me.


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7.Social
To reconnect with old friends and make new ones. To treat people with consideration.


Why
I have managed to gradually shut nearly everybody out of my life and right now I feel very lonely and my life feels empty. We aren’t meant to be solitary beings. My original reasons for pushing people away were addiction and fear. Now I don’t have any reasons. I am no longer involved in active addiction and loneliness is more fearsome than people.


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8.Romantic
When I find a special lady that I truly love, I will do all I can to nurture this relationship and devote myself to her.


Why
We are not meant to spend our lives alone. I have spent far too much of my life on my own. So when I find the right woman, I will consciously choose to spend the remainder of my life with her, and treat the relationship as a gift and not a burden, as I have done with previous relationships.


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9.Giving
To devote part of my time in the future to helping orphaned children in India.


Why
When I give of myself without expecting reward, I gain nourishment for my spirit. Why orphaned children in India? I have a connection to India through family, and as I have no children and unlikely to have any now, this is how I wish to pursue my voluntary work.



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10. Personal Development
to develop total confidence in myself, to develop excellent verbal communication skills, to be able to deal with my emotions in a healthy way, to learn how to deal with my anger in a healthy way.


Why
In order to feel alive I need to feel I’m growing as a human being.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 4:37 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 4:32 am
Posts: 19
LESSON 3 - THE ROLE OF VALUES

1. Self actualisation
2.Spiritual development
3. Being in peak physical health
4. Being financially free
5. Having a positive outlook
6. Philanthropy
7. Mental strength
8. Self discipline
9. Control over one's emotions
10. Commitment to one's vision
11. Kaizen
12. Self mastery
13. Thinking of others
14. Helping others
15. Compassion
16. Grit
17. Producing work of outstanding quality
18. Becoming an expert in my profession
19. Being reliable
20. Taking the lead
21. Giving the very best of myself every day
22. Honesty
22. Taking responsibility for my life
23. Continually learning
24. Financial prudence
25. Humility
26. Self reliance
27. Integrity
28. Self acceptance
29. Self respect
30. Goal oriented
31. Being a good son
32. Being a good brother
33. Being a good friend to my mates
34. Inspiring others
35. Bringing joy to others
36. Becoming an expert pilot
37. Always focusing on the good in others
38. Always focusing on the good in a situation
39. Becoming a property owner
40. Living my life to the full
41. Allowing myself to have fun
42. Being grateful for what I have
43. Being true to myself
44. Living a life of adventure
45. Being fearless
45. Continually challenging myself to do better
46. Living outside of my comfort zone
47. Sincerity
48. Taking care of my needs in an adult way
49. Being an adult
50. Being on the best possible terms with everyone in my life
51. Emotional maturity
52. Being a role model for others
53. Being truly intimate with my true love
54. To face reality
55. To be appreciative of my firends
56. To be appreciative of my family


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 5:42 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 4:32 am
Posts: 19
LESSON 4/5 - MY PRIORITY VALUES

1. Being financially free
2. Becoming an expert in my profession
3. Continually challenging myself to do better
4. Self discipline
5. Commitment to one's vision
6. Producing work of outstanding quality
7. Giving the best of myself everyday
8. Being in peak physical health
9. Control over one's emotions
10. Taking the lead
11. Taking responsibility for my life
12. Continually learning
13. Goal oriented
14. Always focusing on the good in others
15. Always focusing on the good in a situation


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:33 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 4:32 am
Posts: 19
LESSON 6 - PROACTIVE ACTION PLANS

Proactive Action Plan: Being in peak physical health

1. Work out at the gym at least 3 times per week
2. Remain free from smoking and all other forms of nicotine
3. Quit snacking on cakes/biscuits at the office
4. Eat at least 5 portions of fresh fruit/veg per day
5. Cut down on sugar
6. Sleep for at least 7-8 hours per night

Proactive Action Plan: Become an expert in my profession

1. Spend 30 mins per weekday & 1 hour per weekend day reading industry blogs
2. Take rough notes as I read during week and spend 2 hours properly documenting what I learnt at the weekend
3. Apply what I learn to my own business.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 4:18 am 
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Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2016 1:14 am
Posts: 14
Hello Camus.

I just thought I would drop by as I noticed you have stopped posting about your recovery.

If you have fallen back into addiction, please don't worry. You can come back here and start posting again once you feel you are ready. Pick up where you left off. Nobody is going to judge you. We are all on the same journey here. We have all fallen back, many times, into addiction. And have all started over many times. Don't stop trying to get better. As someone once said:

Ever tried.
Ever failed.
No Matter.
Try again.
Fail again.
Fail Better.

I'd like to remind you of your own comment above, that you wasted the last three years on addiction, that you felt awful about it. Don't let your addiction leave you feeling this way again. Don't let it waste more years. Don't find yourself coming back here, in 2020, saying you've wasted another three years. You can do this now, day by day, failure by failure, success by success. I've wasted ten years or more. I know how bad it feels. And, like you, I know I don't want to come back, years down the line, saying the same thing, having the same regrets, only magnified because even more precious years have gone. Years don't come back. Months don't. Weeks don't. Even days, even hours don't. Try to keep this in mind when you are struggling. Any time is a good time to stop acting out. Any time is a good time to start back in recovery. I know you will be fighting battles inside yourself, and I know this isn't easy.

I wish you the best of luck in recovery. And I hope we see you back here soon, fighting the fight no matter how hard it seems, or how many times defeated. Good wishes.

_________________
Ever tried. Ever Failed. No Matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail Better.
- Samuel Beckett


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