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PostPosted: Thu Mar 23, 2017 8:13 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 12:56 pm
Posts: 2
Lesson 1 Exercises:
A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change
2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
3) allowing yourself time to change.
Consider where you feel you are in relation to each of these recovery keys? Briefly share your thoughts in your Recovery Thread.

1) I feel actively committed to change.....I made a false start back in 2013 on this site, I did this first lesson and never came back, but I didn't understand just how my life had been affected by love addiction and how empty I was inside and how little of an established, mature identity I had back then. I'm hungry for change, I know that.
2) I don't know exactly what this means. I do know I have been working on my self esteem and getting my sense of worth from within instead of from others.
3) This one can be hard. I'm very impatient and I want to be "better" now and I tend to be all or nothing, but that hasn't worked for me so far, and I'm realizing that you can't change patterns that have been ingrained over the course of your entire life overnight.

B. Beyond an active commitment to change, another important factor in determining your ultimate success is your motivation. Look deep inside and list ten to fifteen reasons why you seek to permanently change your life. Don't stop at three or four obvious ones, really examine your life and what is important to you. Phrase these in the positve. For example: " I don't want to keep deceiving my wife" would serve you better if written like "I want to be honest and transparent with my wife". Positive statements have much more power in our mindset than negative ones. List these in your recovery thread.

1. I want to know what it's like to define my own identity and self worth.
2. I want to set a good example for my child so they have a better life than me.
3. I want to find a meaningful purpose for my life.
4. I want to get out of my own way.
5. Be more stable.
6. Be more mature.
7. Have more to show for my life.
8. Stop demeaning myself and giving over my power.
9. Stop being used.
10. Stop having massive mood swings based on whether or not I feel I'm being validated by someone else.
11. Take good care of myself and treat myself like a priority.
12. Be in the moment and not always thinking what others think of me and whether or not they approve of me.
13. Be around men without wondering if they find me attractive.
14. Live a more healthy lifestyle.
15. Let go of other compulsive behavior like eating, spending, internet surfing as a means of changing my emotional state and distracting from the emptiness.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:47 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3850
Location: UK
Hi Hope
welcome back !!

Quote:
I feel actively committed to change.....I made a false start back in 2013 on this site, I did this first lesson and never came back,


Really getting into the deep analysis of why you never came back might change I feel actively committed to change
to I am actively committed to change

it the deep analysis is not for you ask the simple question
what do I have to lose ?

Its a no brainer
looking forwards to seeing you progress
good luck

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 6:43 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3850
Location: UK
Hi Thereshope
I made a false start back in 2013 on this site, I did this first lesson and never came back,

please dont repeat the mistake and thus endure another three years of regret
come on jump in
seize the moment take the chance grasp the opportunity
as said what do you have to lose?

remember for there to be hope there needs to be effort and commitment

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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