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 Post subject: Daniel91 Recovery Thread
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 12:00 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:42 am
Posts: 2
Hello everybody! I’m 25 years old, from Italy (forgive me some grammatical mistake possibly :s: ) and I have been addicted to porn for over 10 years. I started watching erotic movies on Tv since I was thirteen ( maybe earlier) and often woke up during night so i could watching those movies in tranquillity. As years went by i continued to have these compulsive behaviours through different ways and the worst arrived when i got high speed internet (like most part of porn addicted i think). Pratically throughout all my adolescence I continued to do so completely unaware of the danger consequences that this addiction leads, conditioning essentially all my life, starting from PIED. In fact I have had four girlfriend since I was thirteen to twenty but I have never managed to end a sexual intercourse because of my “non full erection”. It has hurt me a lot, despite I didn’t realize which could be the cause of all this. Until I saw a glimpse of a TV program about the psyco-physical consequences of watching pornography.
It lighted a spark inside of me and everything became so clear to me, from PIED to social anxiety meeting people, from concentration problems during study to the closed thoughts circle that took shape in my mind, bringing me to have always the same compulsive and destructive behaviours. Then I began to deepen this topic finding an italian help forum that brought me enought motivation to keep me abstinent from porn for 12 days, but it is quite clear that this addiction is so ingrained inside of me that the initial motivation is not enought at all. In fact since then it’s been passed over 5 years during which I have alternated little period of abstinence to “fully immersion” in porn but failed so many times that in the last 1-2 years I have almost fallen in depression, considering that I haven't had a girlfriend since that distant February 2012.
Despite everything I know I can do it, it'll be hard but I am committed in this path because I am willing to change actually every aspect of my life. To conclude I would like to express my gratitude to all the staff of this forum. Whenever I'll manage to snap out of it (not "if") it'll be mostly thanks to you and this amazing recovery workshop.

Let's begin with Lesson 1:

A
1) As I said in the introduction I am aware that to end this addiction up I must change many aspects of my life, most of all conditioned by such issue. Now I take my responsibilities as a mature person that recognized this "360-degrees problem" so I committ myself to actively change from the inside.
2) I think that guilt and shame are necessary, mostly in the first part of the healing process I'm starting, because they helped create in me the cognitive dissonance required to the recognition of the problem in a way. However I must no succumb to them, but taking advantage of the awareness of these feelings (bonded specially to my past I hope) to give me strength during this path
3) For an effective and real change I do realize that it takes at least some month and I am seriously committed to change during this workshop and beyond.

B
1) I want to be opened to dialogue when meeting people
2) I want to studying constantly in order to pass university exams
3) I want to be a good listener when talking with friends
4) I want to lose weight
5) I want to do exercise at least 3 times a week
6) I want to find a girl who I can create a relationship with.
7) I want to have a complete erection during sex
8) I want to be a very charismatic person
9) I want to feel happy in every moment of the day
10) I want to be emotionally ready for anything
11) I want to feel myself relaxed and actually satisfied at the end of my new-life typical day
12) I want to meditate at least 15 minutes a day, during morning
13) I want to find a part-time job in order to not receive pocket money from my parents anymore and to
14) Buy a car

Perhaps some of the statements don't concern the addiction directly but I think all they got to do with this.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 5:53 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3856
Location: UK
Hello Daniel
and welcome to RN

Quote:
forgive me some grammatical mistake possibly :s:
)


Nobody is here to judge you, you can do that for yourself
we have ALL made many mistakes grammatical being the least of them, so do not worry


Quote:
Whenever I'll manage to snap out of it (not "if") it'll be mostly thanks to you and this amazing recovery workshop.


You will change, the direction of that change depends upon you and you alone, the site and community will support you but you need to do the work, you need to deserve the support, any reward is yours and you be grateful to yourself for your successes as well as responsible and to blame for your failures
however let there be no failures and strive only to move onwards and upwards

if you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination

your reasons for change are generally solid as they are positive and about you
Quote:
some of the statements don't concern the addiction directly but I think all they got to do with this.

correct
your aim is to change the way that you make choices, to be the best that you can be
We are rooting for you
remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

in bocca al lupo now you forgive my translation if it is in error :s:

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 3:52 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:42 am
Posts: 2
Yes, I am aware that the real change is up to me and me alone. I'll keep on making efforts because it'll worth. Lately I've been picturing myself and the way I will live my life 10-12 months from now with a genuine sense of hope and confidence!

Thank you very much for reading my post and your precious suggestions :w: and crepi il lupo! :s:


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 10:39 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3856
Location: UK
Hello Daniel

Quote:
I am aware that the real change is up to me and me alone. I'll keep on making efforts because it'll worth.


It is worth it but where are you putting your efforts? :pe:

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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