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PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2017 9:48 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2017 3:29 pm
Posts: 8
Health: Laying the Foundation for Permanent Change

A.

1) actively committing yourself to change:

- I am committed to change, I know that I need to change and I know that I want to change. I want to be a different person, I want to live differently, I want to learn to deal with my emotions.

2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change:

- I understand that I must let go of the guilt and the shame of all the past failures and stop sabotaging myself, which is something that I constantly do. I need to accept that I have not failed at recovery, I have just figured out a bunch of ways that don’t work.

3) allowing yourself time to change:

- I understand that this process will take a long time and serious effort on my part. I accept that, and I am willing to be patient and to put in the commitment necessary.


B.

1. I want to live a life that honors God.
2. I want to see women as people.
3. I want to experience real intimacy one day.
4. I want to be able to communicate better with people.
5. I want to be able to pray without feeling shame or disconnected from God.
6. I want to fill my time with activities that are empowering.
7. I want to be a man who does the things he says he will do.
8. I want to be in control of my body and my mind.
9. I want to be productive with my time.
10. I want to accomplish my goals and dreams.
11. I want to act out of love and positivity.
12. I want to be able to control my emotions.
13. I want to be more selfless and think of others instead of myself.
14. I want to grow in my Christian walk and do work for the kingdom.
15. I want to live a life free of escape.
16. I want to live life without needing sexual gratification.
17. I want to be have a sense of self worth.
18. I want to live a life with no secrets.
19. I want to live a life that lines up with what I believe.
20. I just want to be free.

C.

Looking at this picture makes me feel all kinds of emotions. Most of all I feel a deep sorrow because I feel like I have let down this child. He looks so happy because he has his whole life to look forward to. He had such an amazing childhood but through many wrong decisions I came to end up where I am now. I feel sooo bad, I feel like I ruined this kids chance to have good relationships, happiness, and a good life. How did we go from that perfect happy childhood to the life of an addict?

I’ve been through many heart breaks in my life. Some that have left me completely and utterly destroyed. I owe God everything because If wasn’t for Him I wouldn’t even be alive right now. I know that even though I don’t admit it, I use porn to hide from the pain I have experienced from these heartbreaks and from the feeling of being alone. Not only that but Ive always been insecure, and have let negativity flood my life which has always caused me to turn to porn as a means of relief.

My hope from this recovery is that I would be able to just get my life back, for me and for the child in the photo. I want to be happy and I want to be able to deal with my emotions. If I could say one thing to that kid it would be that I’m truly sorry for the path that I have lead us down and that I will do anything I can to make it right. I will never stop trying.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2017 11:28 am 
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Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2017 3:29 pm
Posts: 8
Health: Establishing a Healthy Vision for Your Life:

My Vision for My Life Is:

To live a life of purpose and significance by devoting my life to God.

To be a man with self control through discipline & mindfulness.

To express my creativity through photography.

To be holy and sanctified through obedience to God and His word.

To pursue wisdom & truth through Bible study and discipleship.

To be selfless and help others through generosity and service.

To be a man of character through honesty, and integrity.

To be kind & compassionate to everyone I encounter by exhibiting love.

To pursue adventure & excitement through travel.

To be close to my family by being present & spending quality time together.

To be content with life through positivity and gratefulness.

To pursue health through staying active and eating well everyday.

To one day have a marriage built on emotional maturity and intimacy.

To be more connected to nature through things like hiking & camping.

To feel peace through prayer and quite time with God.


Last edited by JMAC33 on Thu Apr 13, 2017 7:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2017 12:04 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3856
Location: UK
Hello Jay and welcome to RN
your vision is a good start, but only a start, it should continue to be a work in progress as you progress
perhaps a few how, why and whens could be added,

if you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination


remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 7:01 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2017 3:29 pm
Posts: 8
Kenzo wrote:
Hello Jay and welcome to RN
your vision is a good start, but only a start, it should continue to be a work in progress as you progress
perhaps a few how, why and whens could be added,

if you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination


remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best


Thanks for the reply and for the advice coach K. I will do my best to put the most into this course that I possibly can!


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 7:03 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2017 3:29 pm
Posts: 8
Health: The Role of Values

Practical Values For My Vision:

To live a life of purpose and significance by devoting my life to God.
- I will put God first before all other things.

To feel peace through prayer and quite time with God.
- I will have dedicated time to pray.

To be holy and sanctified through obedience to God and His word.
- I will spend 1 hour a day studying His Word.

To pursue wisdom & truth through Bible study and discipleship.
- I will fellowship with my mentor once per week.
- I will go to Bible study once per week.

To be close to my family by being present & spending quality time together.
- I will be present when around my family.
- I will dedicate 2 times a week to be with family.

To be a man with self control through discipline & mindfulness.
- I will take 10 minutes to just breathe.

To be content with life through positivity and gratefulness.
- I will write down 3 things I’m grateful for everyday.

To be selfless and help others through generosity and service.
- I will give to the church and to the mission.
- I will buy food and help homeless.

To be a man of character through honesty, and integrity.
- I will do what is right even when no one is looking

To be kind & compassionate to everyone I encounter by exhibiting love.
- I will put people before myself.

To pursue adventure & excitement through travel.
- I will travel far every other month.

To pursue health through staying active and eating well everyday.
- I will make the correct decisions when eating.
- I will train calisthenics everyday.

To be more connected to nature through things like hiking & camping.
- I will hike once per month.

To express my creativity through photography.
- I will finish my photography course.

To one day have a marriage built on emotional maturity and intimacy.
- I will learn how to manage my emotions.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 7:59 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2017 3:29 pm
Posts: 8
Health: Prioritizing Your Values

Prioritize Values

1. Put God before all other things.

2. Dedicate time to pray.

3. Spend 1 hour a day with God.

4. Fellowship with mentor once per week.

5. Go to Bible study once per week.

6. Be present when around my family.

7. Treat my father better.

8. Dedicate 2 days a week to be with family.

9. Learn how to manage my emotions.

10. Do what is right even when no one is looking

11. Tell the truth always.

12. Put other peoples needs before my own.

13. Be humble.

14. Write down 3 things I’m grateful for everyday.

15. Take a 10 minute time out everyday to just breathe.

16. Give 12% to the church and to the mission.

17. Help the homeless with money or food.

18. Communicate better with people.

19. Make the correct choices when eating.

20. Train 4 days a week.

21. Hike once per month.

22. Take a 3-5 day weekend and travel somewhere once per month.

23. Go camping twice this summer.

24. Finish my photography course.

25. Save money to put toward a home.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 4:18 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2017 3:29 pm
Posts: 8
Health: Identifying Incongruent Values

After much thought and some guidance from one of the coaches I know this is what I value. I know the exercise said top 15 but I just had to have all 16 on this list.

I VALUE:

1. Spending time studying Gods Word for at least 30 min everyday.

2. Dedicating multiple times a day to pray & worship.

3. Having fellowship with other believers & my mentor every week.

4. Learning how to manage my emotions & control my thoughts by doing this workshop.

5. Not lusting after or objectifying women by using CHOOSING not to.

6. Not being depressed, having more energy, & not having social anxiety by abstaining from compulsive sexual behavior.

7. Always being present around my family by listening & being engaged.

8. Dedicating time each week to spend QUALITY time with family.

9. Always being positive & writing down 3 things that I am grateful for every morning.

10. Practicing mindfulness & breathing for 10 minutes a day.

11. Training & practicing calisthenics everyday except Sunday.

12. Making the right food choices every day except for 1 meal on Saturday.

13. Taking time off to travel every month & actually doing it.

14. Making time to be in nature by hiking or camping at LEAST once a month.

15. Having true connection & intimacy without sex by abstaining & waiting for the right person.

16. Expressing my creativity through practicing photography & taking photography courses on my free time.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2017 9:24 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2017 3:29 pm
Posts: 8
Health: Proactive Action Plan

Of the top fifteen values on your Prioritized Values List, develop Proactive Action Plans for two or three of the more simple ones.

1. Spending time studying Gods Word.
- Stop sleeping in so I have more time in my day.
- Stop putting this off.
- Take only 30 min to just sit and do it.
- Focus on this for those 30 min then your mind can do other things.

4. Learning how to manage my emotions & control my thoughts.
- Stop putting other things before doing this workshop.
- Start using my lunch time at work to do this workshop.
- Don't rush it, just do a little everyday.
- Focus and learn as much as possible.

11. Training & practicing calisthenics.
- Workout everyday.
- Stop doing so much research and just get working.
- Stop rushing your progress it will come.
- Take your time and learn how to do the moves properly.


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