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 Post subject: Koryzup Recovery
PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2017 8:29 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:52 pm
Posts: 8
Lesson 1
A. My thoughts on where I feel I am in regards to keys to early recovery.
1.) I truly believe I am desperate to changing my habits and finally live a healthy life based on my values, I just have never been good at putting my needs first in any area of my life so it is a bit scary but only because it is new to me. I just want to my motivation to be on healing myself and since I have recently relapsed the majority of my initial motivation was based on losing my wife and I know that isn't how I create sustainable, permanent change.....I feel a bit lost
2.) I don't believe my past guilt or shame plays any part in my commitment to recovery. I have faced a lot my demons and have been brutally honest with my wife and people I trust to ensure I have the support I need to recover.
Allowing myself time to change.....this is where I struggle. I feel like since I am committed to change that this should mean I ALREADY permanently changed....I'm only on Lesson 1 exercise(a) . This is where I believe at the moment if I am allowed time.....because of my history- that I may lose my confidence in my ability to permanently change because if relapse happens again in any form that the consequences of my addiction will be I will I lose my wife and I don't want that to happen, but I also want to change my life because I want to be free of my past and live a healthy life and be at peace with all of my decisions with no decisions lurking or tucked in the shadows.
I want to be at peace with myself and I need to learn how to make my needs my priority because I have always operated from a place of putting everyone's needs above my own and I want to learn to change that too!

B.) Motivators for MY change

1.) I want to live a life at peace with every decision I make.
2.) I want to build true intimacy with my wife through a lifetime of honesty.
3.) I want to be my own champion in dealing with stress.
4.) I want to build my self-worth.
5.) I want to live up to my potential through living a truly healthy genuine life.
6.) I want to pour positivity into this world by living a life free of secrets.
7.) I want to love myself more.
8.) I want a healthy life with healthy coping skills.
9.) I want to practice self-compassion and feed myself kindness now and in the future.
10.) I want to learn to forgive myself and push forward to a great future.
11.) I want to live in hope instead of constant FEAR.
12.) I want to be my own hero.


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 Post subject: Re: Koryzup Recovery
PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 4:50 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:52 pm
Posts: 8
Lesson 2
- Courageously authentic in all that I do and in every interaction that I have to be myself at all times by living an honest life for me.
- Devoted to my relationship with God and living out my life as He intends me to do using all that I have gone through as momentum in my walk with Him and building my faith continually.
- Cultivate positivity in all I do to ensure I judge no one but encourage everyone especially myself.
- Be devoted to my wife, family, friends, and myself by placing priority on relationships and being supportive especially to myself.
- Live a life of true intimacy that I only share with my wife and to build on that for the rest of my life.
- Always seek self improvement through learning and positive experiences.
- Thoughtful in all that I say and do. Always empathetic to others but never at the sacrifice of my own needs.
-To be a man of my word that is reliable and fully commits to my beliefs and lives a life that reflects my beliefs.
-To a life of effort, applying myself to areas I am interested in and areas of responsibility constantly learning to improve and/or enjoy those areas with intent.(cleanliness, financial stability, cooking, mental health, spirituality, relationships, farming, camping, emotional stability, and physical fitness)
- Protect nature and my environment to ensure that i create a sustainable life and be a steward of both my immediate surroundings and the world.


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 Post subject: Re: Koryzup Recovery
PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 3:03 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3880
Location: UK
Hello Koryzup and welcome to RN
Quote:
I just have never been good at putting my needs first in any area of my life


really?
We all put our "perceived" needs first in our acting out, then again we all deny this

Quote:
it is a bit scary



the scary bit is actually the leaving that s**t that we choose to use as our coping device behind

Quote:
I have faced a lot my demons and have been brutally honest with my wife and people I trust


:g: :g: :g:

Quote:
to ensure I have the support I need to recover.


believe me all you need is yourself and your committed resolve, you need to do it for you
RN shows how but the driver is you

Quote:
I want to be my own hero


if you really do want to improve your life, becoming your own hero by recovering from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination

your reasons for change are generally solid as they are positive and about you
remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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 Post subject: Re: Koryzup Recovery
PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 6:34 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:52 pm
Posts: 8
Lesson 3
Feeling happy and content
Taking care of myself
Dedicated to my wife
Dedicated to my family
Dedicated to myself
Dedicated to my friends
Living a humble life
Connected to my own feelings
Appreciate nature
Financial stability
Being tenacious in my pursuit of self-improvement
Being a leader
Intellectual growth
Shari g my true self with the world
Living with integrity
Honesty
Inspiration to others
Staying active
Sense of humor
Connected to my purpose
Accepting responsibility for my life
Fidelity
Self-discipline
Self-compassion
Vulnerability
Sense of responsibility
Expressing spirituality in my day to day life
Showing appreciation towards others
Source of motivation for myself then others
Being considerate of others
Loving everyone
Loving myself
Developing emmotional maturity
Overcoming challenges
Overcoming personal struggles
Being a mentor
Courteous
Feeling empowered
Encouraging my wife's Independence
Being respected
Positivity
Being known as reliable
Resourcefulness
Appyling myself
Adaptability
Authentic/ being genuine
Personal Independence


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 Post subject: Re: Koryzup Recovery
PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 6:42 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:52 pm
Posts: 8
Lesson 4
Live at peace with all my decisions
Taking care of myself
Honesty
Living with integrity
Appyling myself
Loving myself
Expressing spirituality in my day to day life
Accepting responsibility for my life
Self-compassion
Self-discipline
Dedicated to myself
Authentic/being genuine
Feeling empowered
Developing emmotional maturity
Being considerate of myself
Sense of responsibility
Vulnerability
Fidelity
Dedicated to my wife
Dedicated to my family
Dedicated to my friends
Living a humble life
Connected to my feelings
Being tenacious in my pursuit of self-improvement
Intellectual growth
Being a leader
Sharing my true self with the world
Staying active
Connected to my purpose
Personal Independence
Overcoming personal struggles
Overcoming challenges
Feeling happy and content
Financial stability
Sense of humor
Positivity
Resourcefulness
Being known as reliable
Adaptability
Courteous
Encouraging my wife's Independence
Appreciate nature
Being respected
Showing appreciation towards others
Source of motivation
Being considerate of myself then others
Loving everyone
Inspiration to others
Being a mentor
Bring joy to others
Working as part of a team
Creativity
Physical health
Feeling appreciated


Last edited by koryzup on Tue Jul 11, 2017 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Koryzup Recovery
PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 6:51 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:52 pm
Posts: 8
Lesson 5
Live at peace with all my decisions
Taking care of myself
Honesty
Living with integrity
Appyling myself
Loving myself
Expressing spirituality in my day to day life
Accepting responsibility for my life
Self-compassion
Self-discipline
Strengthen my relationship with God
Dedicated to myself
Authentic/ being genuine
Feeling empowered
Developing emmotional maturity
Vulnerability
Being considerate of myself then others


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 Post subject: Re: Koryzup Recovery
PostPosted: Sat Jul 15, 2017 5:19 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:52 pm
Posts: 8
Lesson 6
Taking care of myself
- shower nightly
- workout 3 times per week
- read books I like
- cook weekly meals on Sunday
- journal Friday nights and when needed
- play video games at scheduled times
- complete work takes at home
- complete 3 RN lessons per week
- call friends 2 times per week from my list
- SAA Saturday and Monday
- chores at home
- cut my hair every 2 weeks
- practice self-compassion
- attend my therapy sessions
- carry a personal to-do list and update on the fly

Strengthen my relationship with God
- attend church at least 3 times per month
- daily focused devotion
- concentrated brutally honest prayer morning and night
- weekly worship in nature alone
- listen to gospel music daily and focus on understanding the message
- attend prayer meeting once a month
- read a spiritual book aside from other reading at my own pace
- have worship with someone via phone call once per month
- identify areas with questions and pray a genuine prayer and read to learn how to strengthen those areas
- sing on my ride to work at random times


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 Post subject: Re: Koryzup Recovery
PostPosted: Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:39 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 26, 2017 6:47 pm
Posts: 4
Keep up the good work and thanks for the inspiration.


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 Post subject: Re: Koryzup Recovery
PostPosted: Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:39 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 26, 2017 6:47 pm
Posts: 4
Keep up the good work and thanks for the inspiration.


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 Post subject: Re: Koryzup Recovery
PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 12:33 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3880
Location: UK
Hello Koryzup
Sorry for jumping into your thread but the message is for Iamthatiam


please be aware that members are asked to refrain from posting into the personal threads of others
this is allowed only in the community forum

from viewtopic.php?f=13&t=23183
I have extracted

Quote:
Just a reminder:

Know that while you are welcome to review other people's Personal Healing/Recovery Threads for possible insights and experiences to apply to your own healing, you are asked not to post directly into another person's healing/recovery lesson response thread.

Hugs -

Coach Sue


So Iamthatiam I suggest that if you have not yet done so you should start your own thread

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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 Post subject: Re: Koryzup Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2017 12:41 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:52 pm
Posts: 8
Lesson 7

Honesty
- journal to have honest time with myself daily and recognize my emotions and thoughts and to give myself space to vent to me....to document my truth
- practice mindfulness of when a lie is forming or has happened and to tell the truth within 24hrs
- give my emotions their time to process and for their "moment in the sun" to give them value
- be aware of when I am "performing" to cover up my true emotions for acceptance
- to say my emotions out loud as I feel them

Applying Myself
- write out a to do list daily
- set goals on paper and hang them up for me to see in my bathroom
- create a schedule for myself (exercise, therapy, fun, group, church, recovery nation, clean, cook, journaling, devotion, family, friends, reading)
- set up accountability partner for goals or to do list items (use my fitness pal)

Living With Integrity
- voice my opinion when confronted even when it makes me uncomfortable
- stand up for myself regardless of what others think
- do not compromise myself or my values to please someone else
- use my values as a gauge in every decision to act as my compass

Loving Myself
- journal daily to have a moment dedicated to myself
- invest resources into myself (time, money, food, etc)
- exercise with effort
- spend time with God
- consider my health with everything I consume
- spend time with family and friends with sincere intent to enjoy time with them
- consider MY NEEDS first in accordance with God
- submit to God's will
- be gentle to myself at all times....practice self compassion

Live At Peace With All My Decisions
- practice meditation
- be aware of my emotions, call them out, and let them pass
- address all stressful situations to stop the snowball
- practice honesty
- keep my word without sacrificing my needs
- open communication on all fronts with my wife
- journal about decisions made during the day to review and learn from them honestly
- use the 5 Second Rule to live my life my way
- do not make decisions strictly based on making people happy....do it for me
- do not act on emotional urgency
- seek help and guidance when making major decisions
- pray
- prioritize my mental health

Accepting Responsibility For My Life
- make decisions based on my needs and wants
- accept that I am not perfect and my recovery is not pass or fail but a life long process
- learn how to accept myself and my journey for what it is
- read books on acceptance, forgiveness, and mindfulness
- learn financial responsibility
- embrace my talents and interests and build on them
- embrace life's struggles as learning opportunities and as a natural part of life
- journal with brutal honesty to myself and God

Self-compassion
- talk with friends and family and support groups openly to remind myself that I am not alone in recovery or in life
- be mindful of self defeating talk or thoughts and to let the thoughts go
- continue individual therapy to learn more about my emotions and myself
- to be mindful that the things I am learning in recovery and therapy that contributed to my compulsive behavior I did not know before in regards to my emotional maturity and what impacted my development in childhood
- to affirm myself with affirmations from Pinterest morning and night

Self-discipline
- create a standing weekly schedule to cover areas that I have responsibility to myself to do
- carry a mini notebook for to do list so I do not forget small tasks
- learn more about self-discipline through books and videos
- workout 3 times per week
- practice 5 second rule with my tasks


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 Post subject: Re: Koryzup Recovery
PostPosted: Sun Sep 10, 2017 7:48 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:52 pm
Posts: 8
Lesson 12

I am in the 3rd and 4th group because I see traits of both in myself.

- I sometimes think that I ha e learned a lot of new things about me that has created a solid foundation and want to "get on with my life..." The caveat is that I know recovery will always be a part of my life and to think that I can handle my emotions better feels like a self-imposed trap because prior to now my best intentions have not led me to health so I am not falling for it anymore. So I keep pushing and want to build on what I have learned because being only 12 lessons in with about 60 to go there is clearly more to this and I want it.

- I have completed every exercise sincerely and rarely revisit them but I write out all of my exercises in a notebook and go over the material on occasion.
(COACH.....Should I review it on a regular basis? Will that help?)

- I tend to analyze the rewards of it but I like having dedicated private time to do RN so the analysis is based on timing of when I can focus on the material.

- Initially my recovery motivation was to save my marriage and to prove that I was capable of recovery. Over time though I have learned a lot about myself in therapy and now I am aware that I tend to put everyone and everything above my own needs seeking acceptance. I want my recovery for me if I am single or married. It's my life.

- I was very opportunistic when times and situations arose that allowed me the opportunity to act out. I sought out opportunities by creating fake emails and social networking accounts to contact the person I used to act out with.

- I have used "powerlessness" as an excuse and I "threw in the towel" when my anxiety or stress was high instead of sitting with my emotions which I am learning to do now.

- I struggle with "proving" my sincerity through my words and now put effort into being still and silent and let my actions do the talking. It is hard because of my ingrained traits was projected as the "perfect" image of myself to the world as a defense mechanism to hide my compulsive behaviors and shame.

- I did perceive "powerlessness" not as absolute but limited my urges.

- I do experience guilt and shame in relation to acting out.

- I did hyper analyze my feelings and emotions but learning to sit with my emotions and getting to know them now I am learning to recognize my emotions to give them their space and to let them go away instead of acting on emotional urgency.


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