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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2018 2:05 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 2
Lesson 1 Exercises:
A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change
I have been living my secret life for almost 30 years after a traumatic event at the age of 6. Keeping it a secret when I met my love of my life. After fighting it for 7 years remaining faithful I had spiralled deeper into my addiction. After the birth of my daughter I fell into depression and put their lives in danger. I was a bad husband and disconnected father.

I was found out and slowly revealed my web of lies and saw someone who was conned. I saw a daughter who didn't really know her father. That was 6 months ago. Although my urges are low and did a true discovery of the root causes I seeked therapy. I engaged with my daughter everyday. I learnt to be Co-parents with my wife. But my journey has not began.

I seek to change who I am and what values I'm based on for me. Since if I don't do it for myself first, my daughter will suffer.


2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
I lived with it for so long. After my initial treatment. I do not see guilt and shame of my initial experience. I now see the journey I took and the people around me. I see hope.

3) allowing yourself time to change.
I do not expect to change in days this is a lifetime commitment.

B.
I want to live an honest life
I want to connect with people for who they are
I want to see my daughter grow up happy
I want to be proud of who I am because I try to be better not perfect
I want to put my daughter and family first
I want to trust my friends
I want to have a balanced life
I want to be healthy and make smart decisions
I want an open and honest relationship with my ex wife
I want to manage myself financially, healthily and mentally
I want to be confident in myself

C. I did the exercise before my therapy and I felt sadness, loneliness and betrayal when I stated into my 5 year old self. Now I see through my innocense eyes. I see family, my support and my daughter's face and her future.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 9:43 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3635
Location: UK
Hello Bull
Quote:
I had spiralled deeper into my addiction


That my friend is the inevitability of addiction

however with this realisation comes the fact that we do have the ability to choose where we go from this point
addiction does not need to be who and what we are and do
we have the ability to change and change permanently
so choose wisely
welcome to RN
the programme will provide the road map but the driving needs to come from you
commit and lets get this done
looking forwards to seeing you progress

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:28 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:01 pm
Posts: 2
Lesson 2: Vision

First and forthmost my daughter and future children will be #1. To put their needs beyond my own. To give them unconditional love and care for them no matter what.

In myself I want to see an honest man who has nothing to hide or fear of my past and to work hard on relationships, my work and my health.

To my love, I want to be open and honest. To debate and compromise on what we want and to embrace all challenges which we'll overcome.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:47 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3635
Location: UK
Hello Bull

its your life hence your call
however
a whole life vision in three lines :pe:


it is a tool not simply a lesson

can I suggest that you read
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=18746
your vision and reasons for wanting change are the fundamental cornerstones of your foundation for recovery

the more support pillars hence broadness it has the stronger it will be and thus more supportive when you refer back to it, and you should refer back
as said its your call

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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