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PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 10:38 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2017 8:27 pm
Posts: 25
Section A). I want to commit to this recovery and stop being the compulsive liar that I am to my wife. To stop lying to her on a daily basis and to stop hurting her daily. I lie to keep from taking responsibility for my own choices. I made choices that affected her and could have killed her, I would meet some high risk woman and within 5 minutes be having unprotected sex with this high risk person I know nothing about other then they were willing to have unprotected sex with me. Then I would have unprotected sex with my wife and not tell her that I was a high risk person myself because I had unprotected sex with someone else who didn't care what STD they could catch and pass on to someone else just as long as I got what I wanted, sex. I could have given my wife AIDs and caused her to die a long slow painful death and haven't cared. I also paid for sex and exposed my wife to whoever these prostitute's had been with, thousands of men and whatever STD they carry. I have lied to my children and not gotten help when I said I would. I have hurt my children because of my choice's and have done nothing to try and help them heal. I let my children suffer in pain because I don't take responsibility for my own actions. This who I am, who I turned myself into. It's ugly but it is me.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:18 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3881
Location: UK
Hello TGB
and welcome to RN
first please hit the reply key when posting in your thread this keeps it as a thread

Quote:
I can't fix it or make up for what I have done, so why try.

because recovery needs total and complete commitment and you do want recovery dont you

Quote:
I know that I have made destructive choice's.

at least you admit that you made these choices
Like many others when I started out I believed that I had no choice in my actions
I had urges that neede and had to be fixed
Quote:
It's ugly but it is me

true but it does nor need to remain so

if you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination

your reasons for change are generally solid as they are positive and about you
remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 9:45 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2017 8:27 pm
Posts: 25
Thank you Kenzo,
I do want to get better and know the choices I have made have brought me to where I am in my life. The person I am is ugly and it has taken me a long time to admit that to myself or anyone else. I will work through the lessons to get to the other side. I would appreciate any guidance you or any of the other coaches could provide so that I can stay on the path of recovery.


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