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PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2018 12:20 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2018 12:50 am
Posts: 1
Lesson 1 – 9/29/18

A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change

July 4, 2018 was my last offense…..and my last. I want to change my life and the lives of those around me. Too long has my life been based on just getting by with what I am doing. I want to show who I really am and can be. I want to make sure my kids will look up to me. I want my wife to be able to rely on me. I will attend meetings, pray, focus on family and myself.

2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
The guilt/shame of knowing what I did has been hard. However, I do feel that when I do feel the guilt/shame I seem to use that as an opportunity to strengthen my desire to not do it again and have that feeling of guilt/shame again. There is no excuse for me to go back to who I was.
3) allowing yourself time to change.
This is part is a tough pill to swallow knowing that at this time, the beginning, is when the desire is at its strongest to make a change and have it solidified. I know this will take time and will present that to myself as I continue down the path to a full recovery making every effort to make the much needed change.
B. Beyond an active commitment to change, another important factor in determining your ultimate success is your motivation. Look deep inside and list ten to fifteen reasons why you seek to permanently change your life. Don't stop at three or four obvious ones, really examine your life and what is important to you.
1. I want to be able to communicate with my wife better.
2. I want to be honest with my wife in all my interactions.
3. I want to be a better communicator at work.
4. I want to be honest with myself.
5. I want to feel that I am and will be a good person not having any regrets of my actions.
6. I want to be transparent.
7. I want to know that what I committed to my wife is exactly what I am doing.
8. I want to be able to be an active Dad in the life of my kids.
9. I want my kids to know that they can come and tell me anything and not have any of my own guilt.
10. I want to be more aware of what I am doing and consequences of the actions I am taking.
11. I want to build a real intimacy between my wife and I.
12. I want to be able to build stronger relationships with friends and family.

C. One of the most powerful insights you can gain in establishing a foundation for permanent recovery is to come to see your addiction within the scope of your life span. In other words, to not just see your addiction as it is now, but to look across the span of your life to see the role that addiction has played in your development.

When I look back at my life I noticed that I slowly started to not need the attention or need anybody else around because of my actions. This led to poor communication and the feelings of not having to share all my secrets or inner thoughts with anybody. I told myself I can fix any problem I have by myself, not so true. I am truly excited to see that change that will occur as I begin opening up and improving these things I thought I could change on my own.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 1:51 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:29 am
Posts: 361
Hi Dusty,

Welcome to RN.

Your reasons for change are sound and are about you - you are at a good place to make that wish a reality. Commit , fully and completely. Work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand. Coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path.

Good luck and I look forward to monitoring your progress.

_________________
L2R

A clean life; a clear conscience


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