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PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2018 6:49 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2018 6:21 pm
Posts: 38
Lesson 34
A. Often,i'm doing something,like meditate or in the bed,and a compulsive thought comes in my mind,and then an urge.So a battle with myself get started.Once i've done of everything,push up's, slow breathing,motivational videos,but i've got away of being alone and i knew that it was wrong and that after all, i would feel guilt and shame,but didn't work....

B.My Gosh....The anxiety is to big, one part of my wants to stop and another one wants to continue.I have thoughts about the shame and guilt that i would feel if I relapse,my life, my future,my family,my values,about the bad that that does for me..All this at the worst anxiety,when i REALLY want to struggle with the compulsive behavior...When i don't,well,just go to relapse...(But i'm not doing it anymore)

C.I JUST FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING.When i lost the control,the values,future,guilt and shame just EVERYTHING goes to hell.Like I wasn't me
Rarely cases that i,during the compulsive act,think about what i'm doing....The addiction just take place of me and I back to the reality when is all done,a clearly proof of a lack of controlling emotions.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 5:50 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2018 6:21 pm
Posts: 38
Lesson 35
1)I will seek out opportunities to don't speak anything unecessary out of hour,like jokes,comments, and stuff''.The reminder will be in the door of my room.
2)''I will avoid any fantasy.
3)I will avoid any kind of conflict
4)I will be more patient and have compassion
5)I will be more gentle and help people as much as possible
6)I will study 3 hours each day


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2018 10:08 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2018 6:21 pm
Posts: 38
Immthe wrote:
Lesson 35
1)I will seek out opportunities to don't speak anything unecessary out of hour,like jokes,comments, and stuff''.The reminder will be in the door of my room.
2)''I will avoid any fantasy.
3)I will avoid any kind of conflict
4)I will be more patient and have compassion
5)I will be more gentle and help people as much as possible
6)I will study 3 hours each day

Question #1: Over the past seven days, from what areas of my life did I derive the majority of my meaning and fulfillment.
I started to study,watching videos of buddhist masters, this videos have helped me a lot as i'm having some conflicts in my day-to-day.

Question #2: Over the past seven days, where did the majority of my energy go? As in, was there chronic stress/pressure I had to manage? Were there any major traumatic events? Any intense emotional events?
For unknown reason i have ''fell in love'' with my best friend :s: and my my energy did go to try understand it, i'm really in love with her?Or is just an ilusion?Even more the fact of an eventual rejection.The buddhist teaching have helped so much on it.

Question #3: Given the meaning that I derived this week and the events I had to manage — how well did I do in maintaining emotional balance through healthy means? Were there times when my life management skills were inadequate and I ended up turning to artificial means (e.g. compulsive behavior)?
Well,with that question of ''falling in love with the best friend'' I think that I did well,I think that if i'll be reject,that's no problem, and i'll be the best man that she has in her life,wanting her to be my girlfriend is a egoic state of my mind who wants to be happy by artificial means, and the Buddhist masters (like Lama Tsering:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL-XhydHF2o) showed me that vision,so i'm not worry about rejection,depression etc... but infortunaly yesterday i had 2 relapses,but it has nothing to do with the lack of management skills,it was just relapses.

Question #4: Looking ahead to the next seven days, are there any significant events that I need to prepare for, so that I am not caught off guard? Deadlines, reunions, holidays, dates, etc.
The development of the relationship I need to know how to manage and lead to the possibility of dating or rejection,how to make her happy,how to be sincere, how to altruist....etc


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