Recovery Nation

Personal Development Forum
It is currently Wed Jul 15, 2020 7:38 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Brucie3s recovery thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2020 4:35 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri May 15, 2020 9:42 pm
Posts: 6
Lesson 1

A. 1) I am actively committed to change so I can be the father, husband and man I know I can be.
I no longer want to hide, lie or deceive, but want to be able to live my life free of guilt, free of risk.
To be an honorable person that can be proud of who I am. Live a life true to the example I I want to set for my family and true to the person that Jac thought I was.
To find an inner contentment, happiness and appreciation for the amazing life I have but have neglected

2) My shame and guilt are strong but they are also my motivation to not continue on the path I was on and would now be much stronger if I fell into my old ways.
I can now see the damage I have caused J but also the damage it was doing to me in decreasing my values

3) I know this change will take time as it has been part of me for a long time and my recovery is only part of my relationships heal and recovery

B.-I want to live a life with a clear conscience
-I will be honest and open with J
-I will be a great and amazing role model for the kids
-I will be open and discuss my recovery concerns with J
-I will have my own mind and not be swayed from my values with the influence of others
-I will admit any fault or mistake I make freely and openly
-I will have compassion and understanding for others and there situations
-I will be proud to be myself, how other people see me is not my concern
-I am going to be the caring, honest, reliable, loving, compassionate, kind person I know I can be
-I will live a life with integrity

C. I did struggle with this exercise, I found it hard to make myself realize that this child was me. He is so different. But as I continue to look into his eyes I can see his innocents, his kindness, the happy contentment just to be, I can no longer feel that contentment.
He is free of worries, stresses, the weight of responsibility. He doesn't care what people think of him, he is perfect, a blank slate, a blank slate that has no idea of the life before him, a good life on the outside but inside full of anxiety, worry about acceptance, of letting people down


Last edited by Brucie3 on Thu Jul 02, 2020 5:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2020 5:08 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri May 15, 2020 9:42 pm
Posts: 6
Lesson Two

My main goal is to live a life with integrity.
To be honest with myself, with J, with everyone i meet and know.
This will be fundamental in rebuilding my life with J and my family
I will be honest and upfront, to rebuild the trust that is gone. This will include my thoughts, good and bad, how I feel, my dreams, goals and annoyances.
This honesty and integrity will allow us to grow together again, to have the loving marriage that far exceeds what we had before.
I feel appreciation for her and contentment with her, for the first time the feel of her skin brings a connection never felt before that feels warm, loving and sexual, these feelings can only grow with honesty, finally I feel like I can let my true thoughts out, finally I will feel what love really feels like, and truly appreciate J, just by watching her put up a break fence my love expands.
I will include her and the children in my life, this makes me feel fulfilled, at ease, like this is what life is.
This new found honesty allows me to talk freely about sex, allowing us to explore each other uninhibited, pleasuring each other beyond what we can imagine, creating an unbreakable, intense, loving connection that will last forever.
We will share in the kids achievements with pride, watch them grow as the amazing people they are. They can only be beautiful, kind, smart, emotional souls with the love that we give them.
As a family we will laugh , play, learn, adventure, holiday, live our lives as full and loving as possible.
I will be happy with who I am, not needing or worrying about other people thoughts of me, but living MY life, the life that I am happy with, that I create. A life with care,respect,honesty,community, with empathy for people, no mater who it is or what they have done, I am the last person that can judge.
A life of love and integrity, excitement and fulfillment


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2020 5:55 am 
Offline
Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 208
Welcome to RN Brucie3.

You are at the start of a very long recovery process and the workshop here should help you immensely.
One note of caution,
Quote:
This new found honesty allows me to talk freely about sex, allowing us to explore each other uninhibited, pleasuring each other beyond what we can imagine, creating an unbreakable, intense, loving connection that will last forever.

Do not expect too much from your partner and don't put limits on their healing time.

Good luck in your journey :g:

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:00 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri May 15, 2020 9:42 pm
Posts: 6
Thankyou Theseus1112.
Yes I have a long road ahead. It's been a year since discovery and hoping this will help.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:13 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri May 15, 2020 9:42 pm
Posts: 6
Lesson Four:

Integrity, Appreciation, Honesty, Contentment, Fulfillment, Happy, Respect, Empathetic, Thoughtful, Grateful, Compassionate, Role model to my children, Resourceful, Connected to my feelings, Strengthening my role as a husband.

Humble, Respecting nature, Selfless, Physical fitness and strength, Meaningful life, Talkative, Strengthening my role as a father, Strengthening my role as a friend, Memory, Connection, Love, Sharing, Family, Community, Trustworthy, Inclusive, Uninhibited, Imagination, Creative, Intelligent, Kindness, Pride, Self respect, Laughter, Playful, Excitement, Considerate, Responsible, Warmth, Personal growth, Sexuality, Care, At ease, Living life to the full, Social acceptance, Emotionally mature, Appreciate my surrounding, Health, Adventure, Exploration, Pleasure, Living an exciting life, Challenging myself, Adrenaline, Passionate, Inquisitive, Forgiveness, Open minded, Feeling needed, Sexual intimacy, Feeling appreciated, Being respected, Dedicated, Reliable, Realistic, Organised, Patient, Tidy, Productive, Quality workmanship, Accomplishment, Friendship, Freedom, Security.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:14 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri May 15, 2020 9:42 pm
Posts: 6
Lesson Five:

Integrity, Appreciation, Honesty, Contentment, Fulfillment, Happy, Respect, Empathetic, Thoughtful, Grateful, Compassionate, Role model to my children, Resourceful, Connected to my feelings, Strengthening my role as a husband.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:40 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri May 15, 2020 9:42 pm
Posts: 6
Lesson Six: Proactive Action Plans

HONESTY
- Always tell the truth
- Don't omit any information if questioned
- Admit when I mess up
- Be open about my thoughts and say if they grow dark
- Think before I answer that I am thinking about all of the question

INTEGRITY
- Always be honest, as above
- Always act as I would expect others to
- Do unto others as I would have them do unto me
- Let all my actions be congruent with my goals
- Have no angst or guilt about my actions
- Be upfront

APPRECIATION
- Appreciate other people and their actions, thank them, treat them with respect
- Appreciate my surroundings and all I have, and have the ability to do.
- Most of all appreciate my wife and children, I am so lucky to have them.
- Show my appreciation to my wife through love, surprises, support, understanding and touch

CONTENTMENT
- Take time to enjoy the small things
- Stop and think about the feelings and where they are present in my body when things are good
- Stop and appreciate my surroundings, and just be there.
- Relax and observe

FULFILLMENT
- Same as above
- Feel the love for what I have and have achieved

HAPPY
- Consciously be happy and avoid negative feelings and thoughts
- Identify negativity, understand why it is there, then push it out
- Be around positive people
- Find joy in the things I do

RESPECT
- Have respect for everyone
- Know that everyone has special abilities or qualities and the ability to be good
- Don't look down on anyone or think of them as inferior
- Anyone can achieve and achieve great things
- Treat everyone with honesty and compassion


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group