Recovery Nation

Personal Development Forum
It is currently Mon May 25, 2020 6:31 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 65 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 7:53 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 37: Identifying Personal Boundaries

I. My Top Values (Top 3)
Physical Health
Physical Appearance
Being Able To Recover

II. Boundaries
Physical Health
- I have the right to protect myself from any danger or event that have a detrimental effect on my physical health. Some examples would be too harsh environments such as too cold or too hot. Another would be on gatherings with my friends, having a limit on my alcohol intake which is bad for my health.
- I have the right to rest and have a break when I am at my point of so much stress. I am just a human being that gets tired and needs to rest.
- I will avoid getting hungry to the point of exhaustion and feeling unwell.
- I have the right to say no on handling chemicals that are harmful to my health such as inhaling second hand smoke from my relatives that are smokers, etc.
- I have the right to have time for myself, to improve my physical health instead of spending time with events that are not inline with this value.

Physical Appearance
- I will only use products that I have researched well and are not a trigger to my skin allergy.
- I will not go out in the heat of the sun without sunscreen.
- I have the right to say no on things that are detrimental on my physical health such as eating junk foods, too much alcoholic drinks and not getting the right amount of sleep and rest.
- I have the right to appreciate my own physical appearance no matter what other people tell about how I look.
- I am worthy on having time for myself, spending time to have a haircut and other things that make my physical appearance better.

Being Able to Recover
- I have the right to prioritize my Recovery, giving way and time for it to take place even if there may be some delay on other aspects of my life such as career, financial status and education.
- Recovery is my main goal right now and I have the right to make choices based on what’s best for my Recovery.
- I have the right to define my own values and I will not let others define them for me since I am the one who is responsible for the choices that I will make on my life.
- I will focus on things that I am lacking right now and improving them such as on social skills, having time for myself and building my identity outside the things that I have achieved in my education.

III. Absolute Boundaries
Absolute Boundary #1:
I will not participate on events that would be detrimental for my future romantic relationships amd future wife such as going to brothels, having one night stands and participating on sex that DOES NOT INVOLVE LOVE AND TRUE FEELINGS.

Absolute Boundary #2:
I will love myself for who I am. I will not let other people define who will I be, but instead I will define myself and accept if people will accept me or will not accept me.

Absolute Boundary #3:
———

I can’t think of another boundary suited formthe 3rd one. Will update soon.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2020 9:36 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 38: Developing Healthy Boundaries

I.
Yes, I think the boundaries that I have set for those values would provide enough protection for the events that may come. But I can and will evolve this boundaries if there would be a certain event that may happen. I will reflect on this on the coming days.

II.
Value: Physical Health
Event: Too much work to do (school work or job work).
Event: Party with friends, there would be alcohol, etc.

Reflect: I think the boundaries I added would be enough to protect my Physical Health

Value: Physical Appearance
Event: Too much stress from ongoing activities.
Event: Travel to and from different places, stressful and boring, uncomfortable on the travel.

Reflect: I can make some adjustments to make myself comfortable and have a good rest. I can do something to lessen the stress that I would feel.

Value: Being Able To Recover
Event: Family gives too much things for me to do that I can’t find a time for reading lessons on Recovery Nation.
Event: Family pursues me to take a better job right now since I’m not earning much.

Reflect: I can schedule events that is needed to be done. I can allot time for myself since I value my Recovery Journey first and my path to health so that I can become better for the future.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2020 9:10 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 39: Healthy Sexual Boundaries
Things that I can ask for feedback.

Step 2: Ideal Ending
*I will explore and connect more to different women that I will meet in my life.
*I will practice to love and to accept myself, physically and emotionally by accepting my flaws and appreciating myself more.
*I will only use my charm and proceed to have a mutual understanding with women that I am really attracted to unlike what I have done in the past wherein I use women as an emotional outlet and tool for emotional stability.
*I will improve on my dating skills or making romantic relationship skills by watching YouTube videos, reading books and learning from experience.
*I will court a woman I am attracted to. And will enter a relationship if it becomes successful. It will provide me experience and knowledge on how to have a relationship and how to court a woman.

Step 4: Define Your Existing Vulnerabilities
*I have not much experience in talking with women. Though when I was in high school, I had times wherein I can flirt with my classmates or women around me, however, as I have entered college, I feel that I have lost almost all skills with dealing with a woman.
*I have no experience in a mature relationship. This would be a disadvantage in me.
*My experience with courting a woman is immature or outdated.
*I have not many female friends that I talk to (I can count the number of female friends that I have within my two hands). I need to expand my boundaries if I really want to learn and develop this value.
*Right now, I am at a disadvantage since I am mostly indoors and I have not a member of a community (university, school, workplace, church, community groups) that potential mates feel safe to interact with strangers.
*I am vulnerable for my past mistakes. Since I live in a small town, and people in my high school know me for my past that I have been in multiple not serious relationships when I was in high school.
*I am vulnerable with a potential decline from a potential mate, until I fix my acne, and fix my skin.
*I am vulnerable for my issues such as shyness, hard to open up, being so choosy sometimes and sometimes selfishness.

Step 6: Select Initial Value for Development
*I want to become happier and learn more about myself before entering into a romantic relationship.

Step 7: Boundaries to Protect the Value
*I will continue my guided meditation (through HeadSpace) each day to clarify my thoughts and learn more about my emotions,
*I will continue to have time to go outside and learn from my environment and events that are happening in my community.
*I will continue to take care of myself by exercising, having morning walks, good nutrition and sleep.
*I will continue to read books that will help me achieve my goal.
*I will do my best to avoid using Porn to lessen negative emotions and learn why a negative emotion arises and how will I deal with it in line with my values.
*I will continue to build relationships and social connections that are inline with my values and build friendships that I can rely to when I am having problems.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 1:33 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 40: Respecting the Boundaries of Others

I. I choose my Mom
She has been a strict mother to me. I see her that she have no empathy toward other people including her children. I see her as a selfish mother. Only thinking about making money or how can she become rich. I see her that she takes care more of her belongings than the people around her.

However, she may have acted this way because of her past. She was from a broken family. And most people around her when she was still young was not that caring toward her. She was from a poor family and did well in her studies and financial management to attain a better and comfortable life. She was misunderstood for the things that she do, since it was her way of living to cope up with the stresses in life. Though I can recall that she was not a great mother when I was a child (she was strict, she spanks us, she was not doing things for our emotional needs), she did her best do become the mother that she wants to be during that time.

II. First, I would have a break incase I do have violated their boundary. This break would provide us time to think of our emotions. Then I would try to fix the violated boundary, for examples, she values her things, I may do something to fix the broken thing or buy her a new one to replace the things that I have broken.

III. I will be quiet and stop what I am doing during that event. I will apologize and stop talking if their would be any confrontation.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2020 12:57 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 43: Urge Control - Awareness

Hi! I have completed learning about the Awareness of Urge Control. And I can tell that I am becoming more aware of the times that would make me prone to relapsing and I can see a pattern on events that lead me to relapse.

I do have a question on how can I use the urge assessment web page and when should I use this. Is there a limit of how many I can send per week? And should I only use this when I have relapsed or an urge that I have not experienced before?

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Last edited by DanRecovers on Thu Mar 26, 2020 9:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2020 9:09 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 44: Urge Control II – Your Core Identity

A. Describe My Core Identity

My core identity would help me in maintaining a healthy life by telling me what to do when a certain event comes (meaning, it would provide me value-based thoughts). For example, when a certain event comes into play, such as an opportunity for me to have a one night stand with someone, though the initial thought of it would feel like pleasurable for me and exciting, my core identity would tell me the opposite since based in my values and boundaries, having a one night stand would be destructive for my future romantic relationships with my wife or girlfriend. Additionally, when a situation that would provide me immediate pleasure for the consequence of the future such as playing instead of studying for an exam or engaging in more pleasurable things such as binge-watching movies, etc. instead of working on my self/life circumstance, my core identity would guide me to make the decisions that would be inline of my values.

B. How Value-Based Experience Will Play in Developing My Core Identity

Value-based experience would further build my core identity like ingraining a habit. When a value-based experience takes place, it would provide positive emotions and a hunger for it to be repeated and to be developed. Unlike emotions based decisions, which only provide satisfaction on the current event.

C. How in tune I am with my Core Identity?

Right now, I am more in tune with my core identity and I feel it more (don’t know how to explain it further) compared to the past wherein I just let my emotions do the decisions for me. As I have started meditating months ago, I have more sense of what I really want and there are events that occur in my day that I make decisions based on my values. I have also this attitude that when I am stressed, I feel moody, but when I take a break and listen to my core identity, I would want to let go of that negative emotion that I am experiencing that would let me provide more compassion with the people around me.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:51 am 
Offline
Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3893
Location: UK
Hello Dan
Quote:
I do have a question on how can I use the urge assessment web page and when should I use this. Is there a limit of how many I can send per week? And should I only use this when I have relapsed or an urge that I have not experienced before?


Perhaps you should answer your own question?, so do not expect

this is a self help programme and resources are limited and for sure on a voluntary basis so do not expect hand holding
support yes, encouragement yes, advice (when necessary) yes

that said writing down does provide focus and of course a record of your journey for self reflection
so if the tool is useful use it
Fact
you have urges only because you allow them to be

You do have a choice in what you do or do not do
choose wisely
you are doing OK keep it up

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:07 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 45: Urge Control III – Isolating the Emotions

A. Map a Compulsive Ritual
Element #1: Would wake up feeling down in the morning. Not feeling great and just a general sense of being down. Tired from the events that happened yesterday.
Element #2: Proceeds to my normal day. Doing the things that I planned.
Element #3: Sometimes, would not really do what I have planned and would proceed on doing other things such as watching YouTube videos or playing games.
Element #4: Would feel unproductive from what I am doing. Or would feel bored.
Element #5: Will look for something else that I will do to change my emotions.
Element #6: Proceeds upstairs, would be alone.
Element #7: Think of how to bypass the protections that I have set up for my smartphone such as reconnecting it to the internet or resetting the blockers that I have installed.
Element #8: Succeeds doing it.
Element #9: Proceeds to a P… website.
Element #10: Look for enticing things.
Element #11: Goes to the bathroom, would do M and O.
Element #12: Clean up. Rest. Running from the problem that I have caused.

C. Point of No Return
Element #9: Proceeds to a P… website would be my Point of No Return.

D. Element Prior to the Point of No Return
Element #8: Succeeds doing it. (Mixed emotions of excitement, guilt, would want to watch, would want to quit and do something that would be productive or fix myself)

But I would want to consider other elements such as
Element #6: Proceeding upstairs and being alone. (This window of time should provide me a good break from what I am doing. To fix myself and reconsider my core identity)

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:16 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Hi Coach Kenzo, thank you for your reply

The line "You have urges only because you allow them to be." makes so much sense to me. I do have a choice on what decisions and behavior I should do when I experience certain emotions and events in my life.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:18 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 46: Urge Control IV – Isolating the Decision

A. Rewriting the Chain

Element #1: Would wake up feeling down in the morning. Not feeling great and just a general sense of being down.
Element #2: Proceeds to my normal day. Doing the things that I planned.
Element #3: Sometimes, would not really do what I have planned and would proceed on doing other things such as watching YouTube videos or playing games.
Element #4: Would feel unproductive from what I am doing. Or would feel bored.
Element #5: Will look for something else that I will do to change my emotions.
Element #6: Proceeds upstairs, would be alone.
Element #7: Check my journal for a guidance of my values and previous ideas.
Element #8: Does something that is part of my value system such as calling a friend, practicing playing guitar, exercising, listening to music, reading a book, meditating or having a good self talk.
Element #9: Does the chosen thing.
Element #10: Enjoys the moment, feels good about myself as I have done something that I want to be part of me instead of doing disgusting ritual that was ingrained in me.
Element #11: More positive emotion comes. Does what I have planned from my journal.
Element #12: Clean up. Rest. Enjoying the rest of my day.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2020 1:11 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 47: Practical Urge Awareness

A. Scenarios

1. Scrolling through social media, I would see an explicit content that would provide stimulation and urge to me. This may provide me a feeling of emotional instability.
2. Someone in our group chat would send a video that would be enticing and sensual. It will cause a surge emotions through me.
3. I would see a sensual clip in one of the television shows that the people in our house are watching.
4. I feel so bored to the point of desperation that I am not doing the things that are part of my value list. I am not enjoying the things that I am doing. I am at our house for a long time because of the quarantine that provides me negative emotions.
5. There may be a YouTube thumbnail that can trigger an urge through me because of the sensual content on the thumbnail.
6. I feel so tired due to a work that was instructed by my parents and I feel the need to PMO due to the stress provided by that work.
7. While watching a movie, I may find something that would trigger an urge to me such as sensual clips that are part of the movie.
8. I would have an interaction with a female that is flirting with me and or revealing. After the interaction, the emotions would still be there and the urge to for a sexual release would be an urge.
9. There may be a scenario where my cousin would be in a revealing dress, which may trigger an urge to me.
10. My laptop blocker or phone blocker fails, and I feel the awareness and freedom that nothing holds back the websites that I have been avoiding. Without a clear sense of what I want in my mind, it would produce an urge to have “to just take a look and watch for awhile” that would lead me to a relapse.


B. Choose One Scenario

Scenario:
My laptop blocker or phone blocker fails, and I feel the awareness and freedom that nothing holds back the websites that I have been avoiding. Without a clear sense of what I want in my mind, it would produce an urge to have “to just take a look and watch for awhile” that would lead me to a relapse.

Break:
When I learned that my laptop or phone blocker fails, I would immediately leave my tech behind no matter what I am doing. I would be going out and take a good breathe of air. Then, I would patch up whatever the problem is after I have cleared my mind.

Point of No Return:
When I open my browser and proceed to an explicit website that I am avoiding.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2020 5:30 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 48: Proactive/Reactive Urge Awareness
Role Playing/Visualization

I have visualized my self that I am doing the things that I really wanted to do instead of the things that provide me short term stimulation and instead of procrastinating. For the past days, I have visualized that I am studying an hour in the morning and after I would recall the lessons that I learned in Recovery Nation or will learn a new one.
I have studied for almost an hour almost each day in the morning this week, and have done things that I wanted to do instead of wasting time. It was such a fulfilling event in my life.
Visualization has many applications in life. There were times in a day when I am just letting my emotions lead me to what I want to do and would recall this approach of visualization and ask myself to visualize the things that I should be doing healthy right at that moment. And due to this, it helps me to make the right decision instead of just letting my emotions guide through me when I have free time.


Anticipating
Things to Anticipate:
- Night, 9 PM onwards, alone in the living room or somewhere else in the house. An urge to do my compulsive behavior may arise. Usually when I am using my laptop to do things that I need to do.
- After the community quarantine, normal life would be going on again. I would be spending most of my time in the morning alone in the house. In the afternoon, would return to my routine of going to the gym and cooking meals after. Loneliness may arise and would make me feel an urge to return to my compulsive behavior.
- Morning after a tiring day. Would make me feel that I am so tired and bored. An urge to do my compulsive behavior may return. Due to the tiredness that we may feel.
- Afternoon, after eating, boredom strikes as I have nothing to do that was planned in my journal. My emotions may take over me and urges to do my compulsive behavior may arise.
- A time where I may get hooked on social media and not checking on the content that I may be seeing. I would see a post that causes an urge.


Actively Seeking

After doing my morning meditations, I can incorporate to set goals on what to actively seek opportunities on values that I have chosen. I would add a goal setting action plan every day after meditating.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2020 7:47 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 50: Value Based Decision Making

A. Consequences of using a Healthy Value Based Decision Making when Managing an Urge.
Positive:
Long term growth instead of short term pleasure. Value based decision making would provide me growth instead of pleasure in the now.
Would provide an increase in my self esteem if implemented properly.
Confidence on my decision making would be increased.
Destructive patterns would be minimal.

Negative:
Initial worth of using value based decision making may not be seen in that moment of urge.
May provide anxiety since not getting the normal emotional high from the choice made.
May become hard in the start but as it progress it may become easier to do.

B. Consequences of Continuing a Compulsive Ritual
Positive:
Emotional balance regained immediately in the moment.
Fast relief of emotions being felt at that moment.

Negative:
Further destroys the trust that you put in your self.
Makes you feel bad at yourself in the long run.
Self esteem would diminish.
Guilt and shame would be felt later after the emotional high was produced.

C. Long term effects of both decision making on my Developing Identity.

Emotion Based
Mostly small effect on the long term development of my identity. Since emotion based decision making would be like a quick fix patch that will solve my current problem. However, this quick fix would not help in furthering my identity and fixing any underlying issue (if there is) while I’m experiencing an emotion.

Value Based
Would provide a great boost on my part of building my identity that I want. Just one victory over a fight with an urge would provide positive reinforcements on my part of decision making since it would provide me trust to make decisions for myself.


----------

I have discovered that there are so many bottled emotions inside me. And I haven't released it many years ago. I have bottled up anger toward my parents, toward people. I have suppressed on areas that I have failed back then such as romantic relationship since I fear of making the same mistakes again. I have suppressed my liking to go out and talk to people that attract my attention. May different emotions have come up to the surface since I started this journey.

Right now, I have also been reading books toward healing these emotions, etc.
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover has also helped me to express my feelings in an acceptable way. Just want to share this book since it may help other people here in this Forum :w:

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Last edited by DanRecovers on Sat Apr 18, 2020 7:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 7:31 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 51: Decision Making: Identifying the Options
Learn to use emotions as a tool for assessing my environment, rather than as a tool for decision making. When you feel an urge, I am experiencing an emotional reaction that needs to be interpreted, not as a reason to act for that urge.
A. Compulsive Ritual
Element #1: I finished eating lunch and have become sleepy or bored from the fullness that I gained.
Element #2: Bored, felt lazy to do the things that I have planned for the afternoon.
Element #3: Tried to push myself to do the things that I have planned. Or do something that helps me to boost my current mood.
Element #4: If nothing happens, further emotional destabilization occurs.
Element #5: Will look for something else to do, sometimes, it may trigger me to go upstairs and do something to watch Porn.
Element #6: Looks for the enticing videos that I want to look at.
Element #7: Watches porn.
Element #8: Proceeds to masturbating and orgasm.
Element #9: Clean up, deleting history, etc.
Element #10: Felt satisfied and guilty after the compulsive behavior.

I should consider the options available at element #4.

Options
Option #1: Get my journal and write about what I am feeling right now. And try to analyze why I am feeling this things, such as low motivation, bored, negative emotions, etc.
Option #2: Go out and have a fresh breath outside. Take a walk for awhile or do some quick exercise such as jumping jacks.
Option #3: Continue to do my ritual since it will provide me emotional stabilization quickly.
Option #4: Get my phone and listen to relaxing music which can help me stabilize my emotions. LoFi, Acoustic etc. (would also provide me an idea of a good acoustic music that I can play for my guitar).
Option #5: A lot a small amount of time to read about things in Nofap to help me gain back the reason why I am doing this healing.


B.

Option #3 would be filtered out of my choices. Since it will violate my “Healthy sexual value” of watching porn is disgusting. And masturbation is release of vital energy needed by the body.
I think there are no value conflict for those values that was left on the choices. Options 1, 2, 4 and 5 have value for me right now since they all develop things that I want to have in the future. Though I would eliminate option 5 as I have progressed toward learning of myself more.

C.
Option #1: Get my journal and write about what I am feeling right now. And try to analyze why I am feeling this things, such as low motivation, bored, negative emotions, etc.
i. You make the decision to act on this option
Logging what I feel right now may provide me greater understanding of myself in the future or on other circumstances. Clarity of my emotions.
Less immediate emotional stabilization but would provide great return for myself.
ii. You make the decision NOT to act on this option
Will look for other things that will provide me emotional satisfaction, though these things may not be part of my value system.
iii. You make the decision to act on this option, and that decision becomes known by others
No consequence.
iv. You make the decision to act on this option, and that decision remains secret
No consequence. It is my right to express my feelings and it is healthy to right it in my journal.

Option #2: Go out and have a fresh breath outside. Take a walk for awhile or do some quick exercise such as jumping jacks.
i. You make the decision to act on this option
Relief and clarity. Resets my mood and provides better blood circulations. Makes me think more clearly.
ii. You make the decision NOT to act on this option
Will try to look for other things to do. Which may not be part of my value system. Opens up trying things that may help me to find ways to further other parts of my value system.
iii. You make the decision to act on this option, and that decision becomes known by others
Others may imitate what I do. It can help them such as my family members, friends, etc.
iv. You make the decision to act on this option, and that decision remains secret
Still, positive consequences. Would provide relief for me at the moment. Mood boost.

Option #4: Get my phone and listen to relaxing music which can help me stabilize my emotions. LoFi, Acoustic etc. (would also provide me an idea of a good acoustic music that I can play for my guitar).
i. You make the decision to act on this option
Would provide me time to relax for awhile and boost my mood. May also find inspiration on what song to learn next on my guitar.
ii. You make the decision NOT to act on this option
May make me do other stuff with my mobile phone which may not be healthy. Or, open up ways to further my value of socializing as I can call a friend through my phone.
iii. You make the decision to act on this option, and that decision becomes known by others
Other people may get distracted from my music. Or they may like it.
iv. You make the decision to act on this option, and that decision remains secret
Also okay, positive consequences will still happen even if I make this as a secret.

Option #5: Allot a small amount of time to read about things in Nofap to help me gain back the reason why I am doing this healing.
i. You make the decision to act on this option
Will provide me more insight on people who have done the challenge. May find other strategies and healthy things to do for the successfully beating the compulsive behavior.
ii. You make the decision NOT to act on this option
May wander off to other websites that may further my emotional imbalance. Or may further my urge such as finding enticing posts in social media, etc.
iii. You make the decision to act on this option, and that decision becomes known by others
Only a small amount of people know about me recovering from my compulsive behavior such as my close friends.
Negative consequences arise if my parents now about this. I don’t know, they are just authoritarian for me. And as I see them, they did small help in helping me in my growing up and my emotional development.
iv. You make the decision to act on this option, and that decision remains secret
Its okay. It will still greatly help me in my current situation and furthering my values.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Last edited by DanRecovers on Tue Apr 21, 2020 6:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2020 5:45 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 58
Lesson 52: Decision Making: Isolating the Emotions

Event Where I Isolated My Emotions
We had an argument with my mom while doing our chores (doing the laundry). She was putting me in a situation wherein she was blaming me for not doing things that she was ordering me to do for my brother, and I was arguing back that she has also responsibilities as a mom to provide for my brother. The argument went on and we had said some hurting words with each other, though, I managed to stop, and felt that I was angry and it was making me do things that are out of my values of respecting her as a mother. After that thought process that came to my mind, I switched to a calmer voice and explained in a better way about my point. I also managed to say sorry about what I did and the feeling after was positive since I managed to make a value based decision during that time.

I was bored in our house due to the home quarantine happening around the country. And I was not doing my best on things that would be part of my responsibilities such as in helping my younger brother on his home works, doing the things that I planned such as studying, reading books, cooking, etc. Then, I recalled that I didn’t exercise for about 3 days now. I think I have managed to isolate my emotion of boredom since I decided to have a short jog around my neighborhood in the afternoon during that day. If I have not isolated my emotion, I may have done things that are not a part of my value list such as excessive playing of video games, etc.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 65 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group